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Revolutionary RC Device Controls Hunger!

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Revolutionary RC Device Controls Hunger!

Face the facts. If obesity continues to grow at the current rate, twenty years from now we'll all be bloated sacks with tiny appendages not even capable of pushing a mouse.

What's the problem you say? Evolution of course. Our caveman era bodies weren't designed for a future where a Starbuck's Frappuccino is less than a block away at all times. Unfortunately we haven't evolved quickly enough to manage the growing restaurant portion sizes without gaining tons of weight. Perhaps the problem is that it takes much more energy to hunt down a buffalo than to open your wallet.

Let's cut to the chase. What really makes you fat is ETM (Eating Too Much) Syndrome. Why does the average American have so many problems with ETM? Everyone is simply too hungry.

Using the Gastron(tm) - Remote Controlled Hunger Eliminator - you can easily control your exact hunger level at any time. Simply swallow the tiny non-digestible Gastron base station and use the remote to adjust your personal hunger level. The base station inflates to fill your stomach, giving you that satisfied full feeling with zero calories.

Losing too much weight? You can easily increase your hunger level at any time when consuming food becomes necessary. Increasing your hunger level using the Gastron remote causes the base station to deflate, allowing more room in your stomach for food. The base station's internal lithium battery is rated for up to 50 years so your hunger control can last a lifetime.

RC Gastron(tm) Features:

  • Control your exact hunger level at any time
  • Daily timer is available to change your hunger level at a preset time
  • Compact remote is unobtrusive and easy to use
  • Base Station lithium battery rated up to 50 years (with standard use)
  • Remote takes four AA batteries (not included)
  • Optional 802.11 card allows you to control your hunger level via a web browser on any wireless network

HAHA! April Fools!