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Portal 2 Turret Statue

This product is no longer available

Unfortunately we don't carry this item anymore, but check out some other awesome products that your fellow smart masses bought!

Cold metal, warm heart

  • 16" tall sculpture of a very special turret
  • Cast in polystone, hand-finished and hand-painted
  • Officially licensed Portal 2 artwork

By technical definition, the Aperture Science Turret Sanctuary was more of a forced extension of our Artificial Sentience Programming project. But, those of us at ASTS know our work with these (again by technical definition) defective turrets is life-changing for them and their new homes. These turrets would spend their conscious lives locked away in a storage closet, calling out for someone -- anyone! -- to talk to, to hug, to love them. And we hope that you have it in your hearts to give these loyal, kind, wonderful companions a home they can ineffectively guard.

Thankfully, we were able to find the few individuals that created these poor souls and fire them (out of a cannon, into the sun) before they could do any more harm. As a result, we only have a limited number of these adorable little guys. All we ask is that you have at least two or more people living in your home, as these special little turrets need as much company as they can get. Give us a call today or visit us on ThinkGeek to find out more about adopting a turret.

Product Specifications

  • Straight from the Aperture Science Turret Sanctuary
  • Perfect for any bookshelf or end table, as long as he has full vision of his family members most hours
  • Programmed for high levels of politeness and compliment, but most come with naturally occurring bugs like fear, anxiety, and depression due to sentience
  • Each piece is hand-finished and hand-painted
  • Note: This is a sculpture, and thus, does not make sound
  • Materials: High quality polystone
  • Dimensions: 16" tall

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