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Fortune Telling Bacon

Invented at ThinkGeek

This product is no longer available

Unfortunately we don't carry this item anymore, but check out some other awesome products that your fellow smart masses bought!

O fortuna! So delicious!

  • Place a strip in your palm to get your reading
  • Are you crispy... or chewy?
  • 50 strips of bacon in each package!

The Sisters of Radiant Farms are at it again! First they brought us the magical wonder of Canned Unicorn Meat. Now they're back with Fortune Telling Bacon, which must come from very magical swine indeed. Now you may ask yourself, wouldn't nuns be against something like fortune telling? Normally, yes. But these nuns are on the run and last we heard, they are part of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Fortune Telling Bacon is easy to use! Simply place the bacon strip in the palm of your hand and your edible desires shall be foretold...

Moves Left - Chewy Goodness
Moves Right - Crispy
Both Ends Move - Sizzling Hot
Sides Curl - Canadian
Flips Over - Spicy
Curls up Entirely - Greasy
Lies Motionless - Vegetarian

Each pack of Radian Farms Fortune Telling Bacon is sealed for freshness. Inside are 50 strips of this magical bacon, each able to provide one or more fortunes. Bring a pack of Fortune Telling Bacon to the office or a party and share the fun, or be forever alone and get your own fortune every morning for 50 days. And because our lawyers say we should be extra clear about this: Do not eat Fortune Telling Bacon. It is not an actual food item and is, in fact, inedible. The fortunes, however, are true.

Product Specifications

  • 50 strips of Radiant Farms Fortune Telling Bacon
  • Created from magical swine in Ireland
  • Place the bacon in your palm to read your fortune
  • Package lists the fortunes for your reference
  • Enough bacon for an office, big party, or a couple months of alone time
  • Designed by ThinkGeek's GeekLabs
  • Note: This is not an actual food item and is non-edible.
  • Bacon Dimensions: 3.5" long

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