Element of Surprise T-Shirt
You'll discover it when you least expect it.
"Member, Joint Working Party on the Discovery of Elements" looks really awesome on the resume. These folks propose the names for the new elements. I bet they're more than a little surprised by Surprise here.
A new element is being added to the periodic table after its discovery was confirmed by a team of Russian and American scientists. The element, named Surprise, appears to point the way to still more elements with chemical properties no one can predict.
The team, based outside of Dimitrovgrad, Russia, produced the element by smashing together isotopes of thorium, a natural radioactive chemical element, with a bologna sandwich. The chief scientist on the team admitted that the addition of the sandwich was initially accidental, but added "we duplicated the results with a second bologna sandwich." The particle accelerator was rendered temporarily unusable after the byproducts of the experiment, surprise and mayonnaise, were left in it overnight.
A spokesperson for the General Assembly of the International Union of Pure and Applied Physics, which approves the naming of new elements, admitted, "We're just as surprised about this as you."
The symbol for the element of Surprise (Ah) graces the front of this black, 100% cotton t-shirt. How it got that many protons and a standard atomic weight of zero is anybody's guess. Oh wait. That's not zeros. That's the new mathematical constant O.O.