Slurm: It's Highly Addictive!
Slurm. It's still excreted the old fashioned way. And by "excreted" we mean we make it with over 900 of the finest ingredients. Which may or may not come out of a worm hiney. If you like worm hiney, it comes out of one. If not, it's created by chemists.
We'd like to thank you, the masses, for making our new "the first one's free!" campaign such a success. So we're offering this commemorative Slurm t-shirt for your purchase! This is the perfect shirt to let others know how much you love our secret blend of over 900 herbs and spices. Look for the bottlecap to win a visit to the planet Wormulon for the Slurm Factory Tour!
For those of you who haven't yet tried Slurm, we encourage you to! Now. Much like an excessive dose of radiation, Slurm gives you that healthy green glow. And also possibly superpowers.1 Plus, it's good for you!2
"Enjoy Slurm" is printed, slightly distressed, on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt
1 The Bureau Of Soft Drinks, Tobacco, and Firearms has not reviewed this statement for accuracy.
2 Note: Slurm has been found to cause cancer in laboratory humans.