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Portal Weighted Companion Cube Plush

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Please take care of it!

It was your faithful companion, but it could not accompany you for the rest of the test. They told you it would rather die in a fire than become a burden. Like the cake, it was a lie. Do the right thing and adopt another.

Straight from the Vital Apparatus Vent comes the Weighted Companion Cube Plush. It will accompany you through the test chamber and generally be adorable and squishy. We expect you will take care of it while it is in your possession. The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube Plush cannot speak, threaten you, or stab you. (That paranoia you feel is totally normal.) In the event that the Weighted Companion Cube does speak, we urge you to disregard its advice, especially if said advice pertains to the veracity of cake.

True Love

The best thing about the Weighted Companion Cube Plush is that you never have to euthanize it. That's right, friends. Unless you happen to have an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator in your house, there's no reason to incinerate your cute lil' cube friend. (Studies have proven that those 8 out of 10 Aperture Science engineers were wrong and the Weighted Companion Cube does in fact feel pain upon incineration.) You may have incinerated one or two Weighted Companion Cubes in your time, but now is time for penance. Squeeze it, feed it cake, and love it long time.

Product Specifications

  • Plush Weighted Companion Cube from Portal
  • Comes out of the Vital Apparatus Vent
  • Finally, you can choose NOT to incinerate!
  • Dimensions: 6 inches on all sides, much like you'd expect from a cube

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