The Dice Are Trying to Kill Me
You've Got to Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Take a Double-Move Action
You think dice get tired of staring at the inside of a Crown Royal bag? Sure, they're random number generators, but they're not RANDOM random number generators. They're YOUR random number generators. You take care of your dice; the dice take care of you.
Table-top gamers tend to be a superstitious bunch. Maybe it goes hand in hand with the in-game proof that praying to the god of your choice can make your arrow fly more accurately. Or maybe it's the result of a chemical compound produced in the gourmet gestalt of Cheetos and Mountain Dew. Whatever it is, we definitely have our rituals and eccentricities. One of the ThinkGeek Monkeys was in a group once in which one of the players would begin rolling before the game started, declaring he was "getting all the bad rolls out." Another would chide him because he was "wasting all his good rolls."
But we all feel there's something more to the dice than just random chance. When the dice control life and death, they become imbued with powers beyond stochastic phenomena. We've all had The Good Dice and The Bad Dice. This shirt memorializes that horrific night everyone has had when your dice were out to get you. You'll roll a critical failure, or worse, a nearly critical failure, manage to hit, and then do so little damage you actually *heal* the enemy, because laughter has healing properties and the enemy can't stop laughing at your feeble attempts. And then, when the enemy's turn comes around, it involves a save-or-suffer-horrible-consequences effect, and you fail your saving throw. Because that's just how we roll. Sometimes. Unfortunately.
"The Dice Are Trying to Kill Me" printed in black on a 100% cotton, charcoal gray t-shirt with seven polyhedral dice with really bad rolls scattered around the text.