I could see the squirrels...
We're with Peter: Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.
In today's corporate world, you often have to sign an agreement that says you don't even own your own thoughts while employed by said Evil Corporate Overlord. That makes even the littlest things at work count. For instance, listening to your music at a reasonable level while collating, receiving a piece of the obligatory birthday cake for the coworker nobody likes, and keeping your red Swingline stapler, even when they switch to the Boston stapler, because the Swingline doesn't bind up as much.
Did you know the iconic red Swingline was fabricated as a prop for Office Space? Swingline didn't have a red model at the time. Our sister site Slashdot recorded the moment of joy when it finally came on the market in 2002. Of course, you can get one from us, but we created this shirt for those of you who want to carry your obsession with you but don't want to modify your tool / gadget belt to accommodate a stapler.
100% cotton heavyweight t-shirt claims dibs on your office supply of choice. Image of red Swingline stapler with "mine." printed underneath in white text.