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The ThinkGeek Newsletter!

December 18, 2008

Attention Smart Masses!

When we started ThinkGeek, we never dreamed that someday we would be marketing to our loyal fans different varieties of vomit. And if we had, we would never have thought folks would actually be buying them. Oh, how wrong we were. Last time we spoke, we pitched you some genuine Owl Pellets, which are regurgitated clumps of bones and hair of tiny creatures that owls eat at night when they do owl things. You gobbled them up like snacky-cakes at elevensies. So, we figured we would challenge you. Below you'll find some genuine weasel vomited coffee beans from Vietnam. Just in time for the holidays. We'll go straight to the mother of all dares and triple dog dare you...

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What's New @ ThinkGeek !!

Snow Ball Blaster - Time for a winter barrage

Snow Ball Blaster - Time for a winter barrage

Here's a wintry riddle for you: what's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Give up? A newspaper! HAhahaha. But seriously, this is THE blaster for all your winter fun. Not only can it mold its own snowballs, but it can then shoot them up to 80 feet. Fifty frickin' feet! This blaster is not for the weak of heart. Suddenly, you will win every snow battle you fight. You will be the winter overlord. And best of all, no one will be able to stand up to the power of your snow balls! See, we got the joke in there after all.

Phantom Keystroker V2 - High-Tech Office-Based Prank Device

The Phantom Keystroker may look like a harmless thumb drive, but it's actually a devious contraption of unlimited office-based torture. Simply discreetly attach the Phantom Keystroker to any extra USB port on your victim's computer. The Keystroker emulates a keyboard and mouse and periodically makes random mouse movements, toggles caps-lock and types out odd garbage text and phrases. Your hapless co-worker pal will think his computer has been possessed or infected by a destructive virus. As he writhes in anger and furiously dials tech support you can rest easy with a job well done.

Phantom Keystroker V2 - High-Tech Office-Based Prank Device

Drift Package Light R/C Drifting Car - Japanese Drift Racing in Your Living Room

Drift Package Light R/C Drifting Car - Japanese Drift Racing in Your Living Room

Japan has an obsession with drift racing that's been going on for years largely ignored by the billions of US Nascar fans. A special mechanism inside these cars varies the speed of all four wheels and causes them to automatically drift whenever you turn. Soon you'll be slaloming and skidding around your entire house. The Drift Package Light Cars work great on a smooth floor, but surprisingly you can get some good fishtail action going on low pile carpet as well. Now all you need is some slick tires for your minivan and a big empty parking lot.

Weasel Puke Coffee - They puke it; you drink it

Sometimes we like to make up wild and crazy stories about how new products were created. This is not one of those times. These coffee beans were swallowed by Vietnamese weasels, thrown up, picked, cleaned, roasted, and ground into a delicious coffee. It's true. The weasels find just the right beans and their vomit adds just the right touch to make this coffee a delicacy. Folks say it has a rich chocolatey flavor. We say, it's unbelievably puke-tacular. Coffee and weasel and puke in perfect combination.

Weasel Puke Coffee - They puke it; you drink it

Sushi Pillows - Delicious Fish in Plush Format

Sushi Pillows - Delicious Fish in Plush Format

What is it about sushi that lends itself to plush? We're not sure, but somehow seeing our favorite Japanese food turned into giant size pillows makes us smile. These Sushi pillows are hand made in the USA (a real rarity these days) by people who really really like Sushi. Choose the delightful Shrimp Nigiri, or go for the delicious Salmon. There's even a giant green Edamame for you to cuddle up with. But be warned, you'll need a really big rotating sushi bar to serve up these plush morsels.

Pluto Plasma, Robot Heads, Monkey Barrels - Geek Kids

Come and see the new terrific products we have for our Geeklings this week, arriving just in time for the holidays. We have four new awesome products: First, there's the eco-friendly Mr. Robot Head. Watch him come alive when you touch the antenna to the wire on his head. If your wee isn't quite ready for feats of manual dexterity, then get organized with the ItzBeen Baby Care Timer. It will make your day a snap since you will not have to rely on your mere human memory. And in honor of our favorite dreadfully missed planet, we bring you Pluto Plasma. This goop will make you smile. Last, but not least, we have the retro classic game of Barrel of Monkeys, because no household is complete without them.

Pluto Plasma, Robot Heads, Monkey Barrels - Geek Kids

Peanut Butter Factory - Your very-own home perfect protein reactor

Peanut Butter Factory - Your very-own home perfect protein reactor

Food-wise, peanut butter is probably a geek's best friend. It's a very nutritious and healthy source of protein, and goes great with a serious slathering of jelly on a nice dense piece of white sandwich bread. Most think that the best peanut butter comes in a jar, but the finest comes fresh and hot out of a grinder. You can use the grinder at one of those gourmet grocery stores, or use your own! Our Peanut Butter Factory makes the freshest most delicious nut-butter you've ever had, with no preservatives or other nasties!

Mario Mania Strikes Back

The holidays just wouldn't be complete here at ThinkGeek without some Japanese imported Mario-based morsels. Go for the ChoroQ Qsteer Mario Kart R/C Racers and stage a mini Mario Kart battle across your desk. The included turtle shells and banana peels round out the effect. Or build your own Mario style charm bracelet with the Mario Kart Collectible Charms. These can be strung together to hang from your keys or around your wrist. You can even clean your phone with Mario using the Cellphone/DS Mario Galaxy Screen Cleaner. Ho Ho Ho Merry Mario!

Mario Mania Strikes Back

Destruct 3 Demolition Game - Destroy and Win

Destruct 3 Demolition Game - Destroy and Win

There's some satisfaction to be had in destruction. Yeah it's a guilty pleasure, and luckily video games do help to satiate the need to wreck and blow up stuff. Now the Destruct 3 Demolition game makes destruction the objective in a board game format. Simply roll the dice to determine your wooden weapon and attack the center block tower. You can use a ramp, wrecking ball or catapult to accomplish the demolition. Knock blocks to the outskirts of the playing field to gain more points. Ahhh... satisfying destruction at it's best.

Meta-Forms Logic Building Game - Mensa-inspired Puzzle Game

This puzzle game is like crack. The first few puzzles are free (of brain pain), but the rest will cost you dearly. The early puzzles teach you how the game works (i.e. how it tells you where to put pieces in the grid). But very quickly, the puzzles become very mentally treacherous. The cool thing is, you can have kids as young as 4 learning how to reason (provided they don't eat the pieces) and they'll be able to grow their brain along with the increasing difficulty of the puzzles. Until they are old and super intelligent.

Meta-Forms Logic Building Game - Mensa-inspired Puzzle Game

UFO Drink Coasters - Aliens love Alabama Slammers

UFO Drink Coasters - Aliens love Alabama Slammers

As everyone knows, alcoholic drinks served in outer-space saloons are either smoking or glow-in-the-dark, and while ThinkGeek would love to ship out dry-ice to make your cocktails bubble and smoke, there are lots of awkward permits and forms involved. Instead, we figured we'd work on the glowy-drink option. This drink coaster has a series of LEDs in the base that glow red, green, and blue so you can give your Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster that authentic look without having to procure actual Algolian Suntiger teeth or Qualactin Hypermint extract.

Neuros "Link" Open Source Media PC - Free your TV from Tyranny

With the bevy of hi-res TV content available on the internet these days it's almost time to give your cable TV provider the boot and go internet-only for all your media needs. The Neuros "Link" Open Source Media PC is here to help with your upcoming cable-free transition. Unlike the gaggle of other media playing boxes out there, the Neuros Link is completely open source and not locked into only one provider. Running Ubuntu Linux, the Link connects to your HDTV via HDMI and is ready to stream 1080p video at your command.


Quick Blurbs !!

Miracle Berry Fruit Tablets

Last Minute Stocking Stuffer Ideas On The Cheap

Star Wars Millennium Falcon

Millennium Falcon - Dangerously Low Price, Mammoth Ship

The Astrolabe Watch

The Astrolabe Watch - an astronomical instrument on your wrist

Melee Mug

Melee Mug - The Mug Of Choice For The FPS Generation

Paper Voodoo Notepad

Paper Voodoo Notepad - Draw the pins in

iPhone USB Charging Adapter

iPhone USB Charging Adapter - give your iPhone some juice

Bluetooth Cassette Tape Adapter

Bluetooth Cassette Tape Adapter - Retro Tech

Death & Taxes Poster

Death and Taxes Poster - Where all that money goes, at a glance

Rocker Switch Fridge Magnets

Rocker Switch Fridge Magnet - Click and hold

Super Band Blaster

Super Band Blaster - Snap your enemies

Defecation Binder Clips

Defecation Binder Clips - Clip your crap together

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Last month's ThinkGeek Techie Haiku Winner is: Randy, from Bradley, Illinois!
We lovingly title it "Always Doubt Your Inability"
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    I can't do haiku
    I will always get them wrong
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