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The ThinkGeek Newsletter!

May 14, 2008

Oh freddled gruntbugglys,

We write this newsletter to you today fully comprehending that most of you do not have the mental capacity to read it. We already know that your brains have been pureed by the cerebral slushie maker that is GTA4. But hey, we understand - GTA4 is so yummy! It's impossible to resist. Luckily, we forgive you. And speaking of fish, don't forget that May 25th is International Towel day! Grab a towel, head into work, and pray nobody recites any Vogon poetry. Yippie! And for some reason we feel compelled to also remind you that on May 22nd you should be wearing...

Indiana Jones Officially Licensed Fedora

Indiana Jones Officially Licensed Fedora

Just in time for Indy 4

The Man with the Hat is back. That's right, in just a few weeks, the world will finally get to see Indiana Jones 4! Geeks and fedora fans everywhere are counting down the days. ThinkGeek wants to make sure you go to the premiere in style, so that's why were offering these hand made, officially licensed, top of the line, fur felt Indiana Jones Fedoras. They are, in a word, fantabulicious.

Whip Not Included

Put one on your head and you can almost hear the giant boulder rolling behind you; you can almost feel the hundreds of snakes slithering around you; you can almost smell the monkey brains. And you can most definitely taste the adventure awaiting you. [insert whip crack here]

This is one hat you've always wanted. You know it:

What's New @ ThinkGeek !!

Nano Drive R/C Ferrari Replicas - Is that a Ferrari in your Pocket?

Nano Drive R/C Ferrari Replicas - Is that a Ferrari in your Pocket?

Finally your dream of owning a real Ferrari can be fulfilled... in a very very tiny way. These Nano Drive Ferrari Replicas are officially licensed R/C toys imported from Japan. Of course they are a bit slower than the larger version and not quite as likely to impress your date, but at only 3 inches long, these mini Ferrari cars do zip around your desk nicely. With working headlights and a turbo button you do get some exotic car perks and can save yourself around $300,000 to boot.

Pocky Japanese Dessert Sticks - From Japan to Your Tummy

Leave it to the Japanese to redesign the cookie into a crunchy chocolate covered stick. As red-blooded Otaku everywhere already know, Pocky is the delicious dessert-style snack of choice. Of course ThinkGeek is able to deliver Pocky to your doorstep in a gaggle of tasty flavors. Sample the delightful Almond Crush or the delectable Double Chocolate. Our personal favorite is the Strawberry Crunch. For best results, we recommend excessive Pocky consumption while viewing your favorite Japanese anime.

Pocky Japanese Dessert Sticks - From Japan to Your Tummy

DataLocker: It locks your data, duh!

DataLocker: It locks your data, duh!

Most geeks collect files - programs, archives, emails, movies, photos, music - amounting to hundreds of gigabytes sometimes. Portable USB hard-drives are a great way to transport all those bits-and-bytes, but the moment your back is turned, someone's swiped your drive, copied everything, and replaced it without you knowing. This new drive-enclosure has a touch-sensitive pad that requires you enter in a 6-digit passkey before your 2.5" SATA hard-drive can be accessed. Hands off, bucko - these files are mine!

Hypotrochoids are beautiful math

Just about everybody growing up in the previous century remembers a beloved little plastic toy made up of round gears and circular tracks. Stick a pen in the round gear, and make beautiful looping whorls of ink. What you didn't know was you were enjoying the artistic expression of mathematics. The hypotrochoid is a graph that describes the path your pen made inside those little circular gears, and the Hypotrochoid Art Set is that toy from your youth, except all grown up. Included are 6 gears, two tracks, and three colorful pens. Finally, art and science join together to make purdy pictures!

Hypotrochoids are beautiful math

Keep your gadgets dry and happy

Keep your gadgets dry and happy

It's easy to forget that the Earth is mostly covered by very large expanses of water. We instinctively think of the earth's surface as forests, roads, fields and shag carpet. Since you are likely to go near or on water at some point in your lifetime, we think you should remember to plan accordingly. These OverBoard Waterproof Gadget Cases are 100% waterproof and float if dropped in water. They are perfect for safeguarding your gadgets (phone, camera, MP3 player) plus they also keep out dust, sand and dirt.

One Weekday Wardrobe... Coming Up!

We have five fresh shirts this time around, which means whether you're in school or the workforce, you have a whole Monday through Friday's worth of showing off your new garments to your friends and having them bow down before your superior geekiness. (The weekend is for laundry.) Motion picture, comic book, computer -- we have various breeds of geek covered with these new shirts, so if one isn't your thing, we bet another is.

One Weekday Wardrobe... Coming Up!

Upgrade your game with this pistol-grip gamer mouse

Upgrade your game with this pistol-grip gamer mouse

If your online-game kill ratio is below 1:1, let's face it - you suck. You're constantly getting bettered by dweebs half your age! What do they have that you don't? Skill? Maybe, but more likely, they've invested in their gamer rig to give them the edge. Take the FPS Gun Mouse for example - a comfortable pistol-style grip virtually eliminates hand fatigue during late-night sessions. The DPI settings are adjustable from 100 to 2000 DPI for those uber-precise sniper headshots. If you're still rocking the ball-mouse that came with your PC, it's time to upgrade.

Hide all your best stuff in plain sight

Geeks are known to collect things - usually small, often expensive, your collection of stuff makes your peer-group drool with envy. Your proud collection could easily become someone else's collection if you leave it out to be stolen. What are you going to do? Hide it all in a safe? Balderdash! Where's a thief going to go first? Your safe, that's where! Idiot. Hide your baubles in plain sight, where no-one will find them. These hardcover books are glued together and hollowed out to create nearly 80 cubic centimeters of storage. Nobody will be the wiser.

Hide all your best stuff in plain sight

Hacking World Of Warcraft - Perfectly legal mods

Hacking World Of Warcraft - Perfectly legal mods

Rules are made to make the playing field fair. Rules are pushed by those who desire more - more than the average n00b. This book will help you attain more, without breaking any rules set forth by the gods of World of Warcraft. You'll get all sorts of tips and tricks on finding the coolest addons and the skills to use them to your advantage. Not only will you learn how to use others' addons, but you'll also be walked through creating your own. So you won't just play in the World of Warcraft - you'll own the World of Warcraft.

Cyborg Robotic Gaming Keyboard - Your Robotic Keyboard Overlord Has Arrived

What do you get when you cross Kitt from Nightrider with the W.O.P.R. computer and a few Cylons? Well, the Cyborg Robotic Gaming Keyboard of course. This keyboard from the future looks amazing with user selectable backlit key colors and special metal plated gaming keys. Four keyboard zones allow you to backlight the WASD keys, or the cursor keys with a different color than the rest of the keyboard. There's also a special 'Cyborg' mode which disables those annoying Windows keys so you'll be stylin' robotically while you frag or MMORPG away.

Cyborg Robotic Gaming Keyboard - Your Robotic Keyboard Overlord Has Arrived

Watts killing you? Find out with the Kill-a-Watt Power Strip

Watts killing you? Find out with the Kill-a-Watt Power Strip

With energy costs now taking a bigger toll on your wallet (not to mention the environment) it's very valuable to know how much power your electronics are consuming. With the Kill-A-Watt PS Electricity Usage Power Strip you can protect your valuable electronics and find out what they are actually costing you. Simply connect your gadgets to the Kill-A-Watt PS, and it will assess how efficient they are, while the built-in surge protector helps keep them safe. Includes built-in backlit LCD display, six regular outlets and two wide space outlets for connecting bulky adapters.

Shoot to kill - your alarm clock that is!

If you've ever wanted to shoot your alarm clock when it goes off in the morning, well now you can! That electronic "friend" who is tasked with waking you each day can now be the target of your frustration and sharp shooting skills. You must use the included laser remote to hit the center of the target in order to turn off the alarm. Having to concentrate to carefully aim the laser beam at the target, you'll be suitably awake so as not to easily fall back asleep. At least that's the theory - we'll let you conduct the real world testing. Aim carefully!

Shoot to kill - your alarm clock that is!

Buy the ThinkGeek BLUE 8-bit tie, get a free RED 8-bit tie

Buy the ThinkGeek BLUE 8-bit tie, get a free RED 8-bit tie

Hey folks, we know many of you are looking for some amazing summertime employment opportunities. To get the gig, you have to dress to impress and nothing says 'Hire me, n00b!' like a retro slap from the past, ala the ThinkGeek 8-bit tie. An ingenious invention that is made all the more merrier when you can get two for the price of one. Just put the BLUE 8-bit tie in your shopping cart (not the RED one, duh) and we'll automagically add the RED 8-bit tie to your cart, on our nickel. Everyone knows now that life tastes better with pixels so hurry because this offer expires 5/31/2008:

Quick Blurbs !!

The Red Swingline Stapler

New ThinkGeek Category --> Wacky Office Supplies

42 Utility Towel

Towel Day Is May 25th - Dun da nah nuh!

Dueling Space Marines Copter Set

R/C Helicopters on Sale for a Limited Time - as low as $19.99

Thirsty Light

Thirsty Light - High-tech moisture sensor for your plants

Equal Measure

Equal Measure - A new way to measure ingredients

Giant Plush Microbes

New Microbes - Toxic Mold, Chicken Pox, Blood Cells

Pocketsize USB Speakerphone

Pocketsize USB Speakerphone - Impromptu Conference Call Master

Colored Flame Stainless Steel Table Torch

Colored Flame Stainless Steel Table Torch

All Edges Brownie Pan

New ThinkGeek Category --> Kitchen Tech-Category


GearGripper - A new wave of desktop gadget storage

Xtensor Gamer Hand Exerciser

Xtensor Gamer Hand Exerciser - Physical Therapy for gamers

Tersumus Delete Key Eraser

Tersumus Delete Key Eraser - Retro Deletion Technology

FTW! Mug

FTW! Mug - Full of Win (and possibly also coffee)

3A Powered Studio-Monitor Speakers

3A Powered Studio-Monitor Speakers - High Quality, $99 a Pair

Doberman Laptop Bag Alarm

Doberman Laptop Bag Alarm - Canine-based Laptop Protection

Robo Vac Desktop Vacuum

Robo Vac - Sucks up crumbs

Nerf Recon CS-6

Nerf Recon CS-6 - Modular office weapon

Dalek Cell Phone Alert Charm

Dalek Cell Phone Alert Charm - Now in stock

Dear Timmy

Our mascot and resident sage, Timmy the Monkey is a fountain of wisdom. Here he shares his advice with a smart mass in need. Would you like Timmy's helpful advice for yourself? Send it to Dear Timmy. If we publish your email to Timmy, you will win a $50 ThinkGeek Gift Certificate! Read on for Timmy's latest wise words:

Dear Timmy,

If sound could travel through space like it travels through air, would we be able to hear the Sun from Earth?

Matt Squirrell, UK, Middle Earth

Dear Matt,

Well, I suppose I could give you all the standard scientific mumbo-jumbo about how 3.86e33 ergs per second at an intensity of about 1370 watts per square meter should result in a distance of a little over 93 million miles before it drops below the hearing threshold (which is, conveniently enough, the average distance between the Earth and the Sun), depending on the temperature and density of the hypothetical air that you are positing that space would be like, but I'm sure you know all that already, so I won't bore you with those details. I think your question actually hinges on a less widely known (and less widely studied) area of astrophysics. To wit, how loud can the sun scream?

Now, obviously, if the sun were whispering, we certainly would not be able to hear it. Even speaking in a conversational tone, given the 8.3 light second distance, would not be sufficient. The sun is going to have to have to give us a real lung-buster before we have a serious chance of hearing it. And, with a lung capacity of 250 billion atmospheres at its core, it should be able to really belt one out. However, this ignores the most crucial fact in the proceedings, which is that it has been empirically demonstrated that in space, no one can hear you scream (cf. The Colbert Report, 5/8/2008). QED: no, we could not hear the sun.

In closing, I would like to note that you might conclude from the preceding that we at ThinkGeek must have been unable to hear Pluto's comments regarding the IAU's 2006 decision to revoke its planetary status. However, special robotic monkey ears were employed for that purpose, so it constitutes an exception to the rule. Also, I should note that I believe Dave Barry would point out here that Sunscream would be an excellent name for a rock band.

-- Timmy

Submit your own Dear Timmy for simian enlightenment and a chance to win a $50 TG Gift Certificate.

The Latest Action Shot Winner

The Latest Action Shot Winner: Binary Newborn

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Action Shot Winner
Techie Haiku Winner!

Submit Your Techie Haiku, Win $50!

Last month's ThinkGeek Techie Haiku Winner is: Brandon, from Hinesville, Georgia!
Here is the winning Haiku:

    More important than knowledge
    Great example: LOST

Wanna win a $50 ThinkGeek gift certificate? Just send us your original HAIKU and each newsletter we'll select one winner and print his/her HAIKU right here on the next ThinkGeek newsletter installment for all to see, plus we'll send you a $50 ThinkGeek gift certificate. Get creative! More details and rules? Visit:


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