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The ThinkGeek Newsletter!

April 1, 2008

Greetings fellow geniuses,

What's that smell? No, it's not the ripe smell of high concentrations of greenhouse gases... it's the smell of Spring (mixed with a little caffeine anhydrous for good measure). Not only are we getting warmer temperatures, lots of birds and endless rain here at the lovely ThinkGeek HQ in downtown Fairfax Virginia, but it's raining some of the hippest new products we've seen in... oh, about thirty-one million seconds. Now, before we lose any more Time Profit, let's get on with it...

The NSA Mega Encrypted Tee

Limited Edition Free Shirt! Get It Now!

Spend $20 Or More At ThinkGeek & We'll Send You A Free Shirt

Get this shirt FREE NOW while supplies last!! For a limited time only, we're giving away this fine Limited Edition NSA Mega Encrypted Tee! How much would you pay for a new cryptography t-shirt you can use to confuse your friends, family and assorted frenemies? Here at ThinkGeek, you aren't going to pay $199.99. You aren't even going to pay three easy installments of $79.99. You're also not going to pay $49.99 or even $19.99. But wait... there's more! No, actually, there isn't. Except for the fact that it's FREE with any $20 purchase. While supplies last. And hey, remember, we don't offer free stuff in jest, we're good for it! We ain't joking around here kids, get this shirt free NOW. LIMITED EDITION! WHILE SUPPLIES LAST! Don't be a fool, take advantage of us now! Or the hamster goes back into the PC Habicase.

Hey! You! Check-out the NSA Mega Encrypted Tee Right Now!

What's New @ ThinkGeek !!

Background Music for YOUR Life

Background Music for <I>YOUR</I> Life

Does your life seem dull and uninteresting compared to the drama and action of movies and television? The problem is your real life experiences just don't have the needed dramatic soundtrack to back them up. Fortunately we've developed the Personal Soundtrack T-Shirt. This amazing new wearable audio solution features a working speaker embedded into the front of the shirt. When you push the appropriate button on the pocketable remote you get music or sound effects appropriate for any situation.

Amazing Virtual Pee Experience from Japan

Normally ThinkGeek doesn't carry video games, but we were so blown-away by Super Pii Pii Brothers that we immediately got our trusted Japanese importer on the phone and arranged to bring over a limited quantity of this amazing Wii game. Prepare yourself by strapping on the included belt harness and jacking in your Wiimote. Get as much pee in the onscreen toilets as you can while spilling as little on the floor as possible. Super Pii Pii Brothers promotes good bathroom skills and allows women to experience for the first time the pleasure of urinating while standing.

Amazing Virtual Pee Experience from Japan

The World's First USB Pregnancy Test Kit

The World's First USB Pregnancy Test Kit

We love our geeky customers. The only way you could be better would be if there were more of you. Since cloning is frowned upon, you'd better get busy. Now you can get simple and more accurate results analyzing your procreation success with pTeq's USB Pregnancy Test Kit. This kit displays your levels of hCG, hCG-H, and LH to provide you with the full spectrum of your cycle. Can also be used as a fertility monitor. All you need is a free USB port and two X chromosomes.

ZapCam - YouTube Tazer - Don't Taze AND Film Me, Bro

A wise man (Mel Brooks) once said, "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die." Updating that for the new millennium, you get, "Tragedy is when I make a typo. Comedy is when you get 60,000V of electricity pumped through you and I catch it all on camera." And then we at ThinkGeek take it to the next level: the ZapCam not only films who you taze, but it will upload the video (via a Bluetooth 2.0 connection to your cell phone) straight onto YouTube. Now, not only do you have evidence proving you acted in self defense, but you also have one hilarious video - ready to become viral and earn you your fifteen minutes of fame. Hey, don't say we've never given you anything - because those 15 minutes are priceless.

ZapCam - YouTube Tazer - Don't Taze AND Film Me, Bro

Cap'n Buzz Spazztroids - Caffeinated Breakfast Cereal!

Cap'n Buzz Spazztroids - Caffeinated Breakfast Cereal!

Hyper-sweetened and hyper-caffeinated, Cap'n Buzz's Spazztroids is the world's greatest breakfast cereal. You'll love the taste and you'll love the 180mg of caffeine per bowl even more. Seriously, you always see in cereal commercials the words "part of a balanced breakfast," but why should you have to also always eat cereal, toast, juice, and coffee to get the stuff your body needs? Who has time for that? Spazztroids is a complete breakfast all in one bowl! You'll get the vitamins and nutrients of cereal, toast, and juice - plus the caffeine of one-and-a-half cups of strong coffee. It saves you time, it charges you up, and it gives you the greatest chemical byproduct since Spider-Man: caffeinated milk!

Betamax to HD-DVD Converter - Digital Convergence On The Cheap

Here at ThinkGeek, we've recently stumbled across a deal that was simply too nifty to be veritable! For only $29.99, you can now archive all those old Betamax tapes in that box in your parent's basement directly to HD-DVD media. Absitively Brilltastic! You know the tapes we are talking about, right? The ones with you and your corduroy OP shorts on and your bowl cut riding your sweet bike with the banana seat (without a helmet of course)? And if you are so inclined, you can even archive your HD-DVD disks back to Betamax for that old-world analog vibe you've come to trust.

Betamax to HD-DVD Converter - Digital Convergence On The Cheap

Defendius Labyrinth Security Lock - The Ultimate Security Lock

Defendius Labyrinth Security Lock - The Ultimate Security Lock

In video games, there is one inescapable rule: important doors are not easy to open. Normally, you have to collect many different colored key cards, hunt out shards of crystals, or press buttons in certain combinations. Time to apply that law (and its associated quests) to the special doors in your life with this 100% titanium alloy security lock. Each time you lock or unlock your door, you'll have to journey through the labyrinth - adding a little bit of excitement to your ordinary existence. You can pretend you're disarming a bomb, opening a spectral gateway, or just, well, unlocking your door. Solve the Defendius Labyrinth Security Lock and open the door to the next level...of your life.

Quick Blurbs !!

Case o' Bawls

ThinkGeek featured On History Channel's Modern Marvels 4/4

The Latest Action Shot Winner

The Latest Action Shot Winner: Annoy-a-tron Retaliation

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Action Shot Winner

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