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The ThinkGeek Newsletter!

June 20, 2007

Hey there fanboys n' fangirls,

How ya been? We've missed you. You hardly ever write anymore... Ok just kidding - you do write us, and it gives us the warm fuzzies! You folks send us emails all the time and we appreciate them so much. Some funny, some in languages we've never heard of, some just bizarre and confusing, but we love them all. Thanks and keep em coming. In between sessions of reading up on what your plans are for the summer, we've been keeping cool by staying indoors and keeping tabs on the minutiae regarding the iPhone. Will it have MMS? Will there be a discount with a contract? Will it make people finally love me? These and other important questions have been discussed here lately, but until we camp out on the 29th to touch the infamous Jesus Phone, we simply cannot know. It's enough to make a geek cry, but we've managed to keep it to a dull quiver of anticipation... Here's some stuff to keep you occupied until then!

USB Doorbell

USB Doorbell

Add Some Audio Bling To Your Home

Being the geeks we are, we think that something as important as the arrival of LAN party guests, pizza, or Chinese food should be signaled by a sound a bit more interesting than the tired old "ding dong" of your typical doorbell. You don't use the same hammer-struck bell to signal the arrival of a phone call anymore, so why should your doorbell sound just like the one at your grandparents' house? Bring your guest-arrival-signaling-device into the new millennium with the a simple USB connection. Connect the USB Doorbell to your computer and upload up to 30 seconds of your favorite sound effect, song, or movie clip. Want to hear some words of wisdom from Homer Simpson this week and then change it up to some classic Mario sound effects next week? No problem. Just remember to keep in mind what sound you are using, so your friends aren't stuck at your front door wondering why they keep hearing "What's taters, precious?"

Check out the USB Doorbell right here:

What's New @ ThinkGeek !!

Nerf Maverick - The Ultimate Office Sidearm

Nerf Maverick - The Ultimate Office Sidearm

In the old west, justice was dealt from the end of a six shooter. Luckily for all of us, we have evolved a bit since then. Now, with the Nerf Maverick, justice still has only six shots, but they are soft and suction cuppy instead of hard and killy. The Maverick is quick loading and accurate - frighteningly accurate. Why you can hit the broadside of a technobarn faster than a nanodisc can collate its hoonannies! Hooo-weee. We have no idea what that meant, but it sounded good. With the Nerf Maverick in your hand you will feel like a cross between James Bond, Wyatt Earp & Commander Keen. Ready for any shootout or stealth mission - you will rule the office. And if anyone gets out of line, ol' Maverick will learn 'em. Learn 'em good.

I Can Has Cheezbanana? -- FIVE New T-Shirts!

This newest set of t-shirts proved to be an epic struggle between our resident monkeys and the lolcats infiltrating ThinkGeek HQ. The lolcats set the bar high right out of the gate with an innovative write-on, wash-off version of the "im in ur" meme, allowing its wearers to self-caption and re-use. The monkeys retaliated by staking claim to the red Swingline stapler, with a simple design that calls dibs on the premier office supply. Although obviously stunned by this move, the lolcats shrugged it off with a new shirt that reads "Do Not Want!" proclaiming their indifference to this office supply coup. The monkeys countered by employing ninja tactics; they released a super-sneaky black-on-black design. Once it'd taken up place in the shadows of the t-shirt stock room, they followed up with I Heart 8-Bit for the win. Flawless victory. Check out all the latest monkey v. lolcat battle-tested designs:

I Can Has Cheezbanana? -- FIVE New T-Shirts!

Hydra Console Game Dev. Kit - Relive the Golden Days of Coding

Hydra Console Game Dev. Kit - Relive the Golden Days of Coding

Remember the simpler computer days of yore when it was actually possible to hook your Commodore 64 to an old TV set and immerse yourself in coding? Now you can relive those memories by creating your own classic 8-Bit style games with the Hydra Console Game Development Kit. For beginner to intermediate coders, you need only a minimum of programming experience in any BASIC or C-like language. You get all of the hardware and software you need including the Hydra console, comprehensive programming guide, keyboard, mouse, gamepad and your own cartridge to store your games on.

AudoCron Clock - The Sound Of Time

Positioned directly behind death, taxes, & superiority complexes, Time is one of the most evident concepts you will ever come to know. And now, using the advanced concept of 'transmutation', we unveil for you the essence of time captured in sound waves. How does it work? First set the time. There are three different pitches; one each for the hour, the tens and then the minutes. Your Audocron can then automagically, and optionally, chime on the hour and half hour with the correct time. If you need the time at any other moment, it can be activated by your [good] touch. While it chimes, the LED lighted circumference gently pulses to the chime. Consider the Audocron a sleek, tabletop, futuristic version of your Grandfather clock without all that heirloom baggage. What's that sound? Is it a bird? No. Is it a plane? No. It's TIME! Time to stop telling time so prosaically by picking up an Audocron:

AudoCron Clock - The Sound Of Time

Pit and Pendulum - Math and Physics Make Art

Pit and Pendulum - Math and Physics Make Art

Ages ago, some dude named Poe wrote a short story that filled us with woe. He described a man condemned to death, and the terribly entertaining ways in which he'd meet his fate. The pendulum we have here differs from the narrative in that it is one-tenth the size, and doesn't feature a wickedly sharp scythe at the end. What it lacks in deadliness it makes up for in beauty. Polished chrome with a shallow pit of sand, the pendulum mass swings freely, scribing an arc across the surface of the sand. The patterns that emerge can only be described as entrancing. Before you know it, your entire office will be staring, slack-jawed and drooling at the designs that emerge.

Desktop Fantasy Skulls - Great Bounty Hunters Have Great Trophies

The Predator, Boba Fett, and Samus Aran all like to collect things when they apprehend their prey. Samus likes to take their ID cards, Boba Fett has a collection of Wookie Pelts, and the Predator collects skulls. ID cards can be useful; Wookie Pelts are a little nasty; but nothing says "Hey, respect me" like a collection of skulls. Dragons, Aliens, and Androids - all are worthy adversaries. To have their skulls as souvenirs on your desk will prove your skill as a bounty hunter and instill fear in your subordinates. "If an android can't take down the boss, what hopes do I have?" they'll ponder cowering at their desks. Then you can retell the story of how your tore the machine's head off, and no one will dare stand up to you. Hail to the king, baby.

Desktop Fantasy Skulls - Great Bounty Hunters Have Great Trophies

Sweet Transformers Goodies for the Coming Robot Apocalypse

Sweet Transformers Goodies for the Coming Robot Apocalypse

As you probably already know, the Transformers are coming to wage war across our puny planet. We recommend you choose your alliances now and make sure to hide those extra stashes of energon. And hey, it couldn't hurt to demonstrate your good faith by picking up some extra transformers related goodies. All robots seem to love the Optimash Prime Mr. Potato Head, a crazy mash-up of spud and robot. Pop in the included parts and amazingly he transforms from a faceless plastic potato into a cute approximation of Optimus Prime. Also check out the cool Animated Transformers T-Shirts. Each features the Autobot or Decepticon logo, lights up, and animates. We suggest you purchase one of each... you don't want to be on the wrong side when transforming robots from Cybertron battle.

Sportscope Cubicle Periscope - Spy Over Walls and Around Corners

If your optic nerves were extra long and supple, you would be able to pop your eyes clear out of your head. Then you could stretch them to look around or over cubicle walls, or over crowds at sporting events or concerts - it would be one awesome and nasty super power. Until then, we recommend using the Sportscope. It's a periscope made of treated aluminum alloy for toughness and high grade optics for...well...seeing things. It comes with its own carrying case too! And with 5X zoom, you'll make sure to see everything from the next cubicle all the way across the office to the kitchen. Everyone blaming you for squeezing the filling out of the donuts? Now you can catch the real culprit red (jelly) handed. Gotcha!

Sportscope Cubicle Periscope - Spy Over Walls and Around Corners

KidSafe Security Key - Can I borrow the keys to the Interwebs?

KidSafe Security Key - Can I borrow the keys to the Interwebs?

The internet is a wild a wooly place, and if you're the kind of geek that spawned version 2.0 geek-kids, you'll want to protect them as best you can. Passwords suck and are easily hackable, and internet filters tend to be arbitrary and are easy to get around. We've got a USB key that locks your PC tight. Nothing works without the key, and you control the key. So, when your geekling wants to surf the internet, they do so only when you say so. When they want to go hit Azeroth for some instance-diving, there's no crying and whining to play longer. Just grab the key, and bang - the internet is off and the computer locks. Convenient and secure as all hell.

Adjustable Aluminum Laptop Desk - Work At Almost Any Angle!

Working from home can be fun. But if you have to sit at a desk at home, you are missing out on the total "at home" experience. Sure you don't have to wear pants or commute, but you still have to sit up! Well, not any longer. The Adjustable Aluminum Laptop Desk gives you the strength and lightweight attitude of aluminum, while letting you work in a prone position. Actually, since the legs have three lockable pivot points each, you can recline in almost any position. And if you really want to sit up, you can sit on a couch and then adjust the desk to fit your needs. You will be cool, you will be comfortable, and you will most definitely be the envy of the office. It's time to enter the realm of the supine workforce. The future is horizontal!

Adjustable Aluminum Laptop Desk - Work At Almost Any Angle!

R/C Moon Phase Light - Makes Mooning Fun Again

R/C Moon Phase Light - Makes Mooning Fun Again

You can think of it as a unique nightlight. Or you can think of it as a piece of art. Or, and this is our favorite, you can think of it as an R/C Werewolf Transformation Device. Know a werewolf? Wanna mess with him or her? Just hang one of these on your wall. When the lights go off, the moon will light up. You can let it cycle through the phases, or you can go to any phase you want. Think of the fun. New Moon - your friend is calm. Click. Full moon - your friend is super hairy and chewing on your couch. Click. New Moon. Calm. Full moon. Chaos. Waxing gibbous. Confusion, followed by an explanation of the almost full moon phase. Click. Full moon. Chaos again. Oh the fun is endless.

Metallic Video Watch with OLED Screen

There have been some incredible achievements in technology in recent years, but we feel the wristwatch hasn't advanced as quickly as one could have hoped for - until now. The Metallic Video Watch features a very sharp 1.5-inch OLED screen that displays crisp, bright video playback and images. The watch can also play your music, both MP3 and WMA, and serve as a USB portable storage drive. It has more than ample storage, with 2GB capacity, and comes in a well proportioned size, that is not thick or bulky. We love the styling of this watch and its geeky features!

Metallic Video Watch with OLED Screen

Quick Blurbs !!

Palm-Z Mini Indoor R/C Airplane

Amazing Palm-Z Mini Indoor R/C Airplane - Get Notified

IngenuiTEA 16oz Teapot

IngenuiTEA - Alternative Caffeine Delivery System

Headshot Gamer Bar

Headshot Energy Bars - Fragalicious Power Ups

Monty Python Holy Hand Grenade Plush

Holy Hand Grenades - Back in stock

Time Projecting Red Laser Pointer

Time Projecting Red Laser Pointer - Back in stock

Screaming Monkey Slingshot

Screaming Monkey Slingshots - Back in stock

Acrobot Dragons

Acrobot Dragons - There's a new bot in town

USB Digital Microscope

USB Digital Microscope - New lower price model available

USB WebCam/Fan Bundle

USB WebCam/Fan Bundle - Only $12

Bluetooth Laser Virtual Keyboard

Bluetooth Laser Virtual Keyboard - Back in stock

PVP Goes Bananas (Volume 4)

PVP Goes Bananas (Volume 4)

Truth, Justin, and the American Way

Truth, Justin & the American Way!

Dreamate Sleep Inducer

Dreammate Sleep Inducer - Back in stock

Dear Timmy

Our mascot and resident sage, Timmy the Monkey is a fountain of wisdom. Here he shares his advice with a smart mass in need. Would you like Timmy's helpful advice for yourself? Send it to Dear Timmy. If we publish your email to Timmy, you will win a $50 ThinkGeek Gift Certificate! Read on for Timmy's latest wise words:

Dear Timmy,

Who would win in a light saber battle, Walt Whitman or Ernest Hemingway?

Lexington, Kentucky, US, Earth?

Dear Ayman,

I'm glad you asked; I get this one all the time and I'm happy to finally have a chance to put it to bed.

Now, you would think that Hemingway would have the clear advantage, given both his wartime experience (having been in WWI _and_ WWII, not to mention the Spanish Civil War) and his rough and ready image, whereas Whitman was raised a Quaker and liked to write about the beauty of grass. But let's not rule out Whitman just yet. He too did his time in a war zone--he worked as a nurse during the Civil War.

More importantly, Whitman was a mystic, often proclaimed as a transcendentalist, while Hemingway was a modernist with a very spare writing style. Think about it: does Yoda sound more like he belongs in "Big Two-Hearted River" or "O Captain! My Captain!"? Wielding a lightsaber is more about channeling the Force than swinging a sword, and I'm guessing the guy who said "the unseen is proved by the seen, till that becomes unseen and receives proof in its turn" might have a bit of an advantage in that department.

But in the end, of course, what it really comes down to is that Whitman had more midi-chlorians than Hemingway. Everybody knows that in all Whitman's podraces with Oscar Wilde, Wilde got spanked.

Hope that clears it up for you!

-- Timmy

Submit your own Dear Timmy for simian enlightenment and a chance to win a $50 TG Gift Certificate.

The latest Action Shot Winner

The latest Action Shot Winner: Magic Censored Numbers @ MPAA Office

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Magic Numbers Action Shot
Techie Haiku Winner!

Submit Your Techie Haiku, Win $50!

Last month's ThinkGeek Techie Haiku Winner is: Kat, from Virginia Beach, Virginia!
Here is the winning Haiku:

    I hate dungeons, but
    I guess beauty's in the eye
    of The Beholder.

Wanna win a $50 ThinkGeek gift certificate? Just send us your original HAIKU and each newsletter we'll select one winner and print his/her HAIKU right here on the next ThinkGeek newsletter installment for all to see, plus we'll send you a $50 ThinkGeek gift certificate. Get creative! More details and rules? Visit:


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