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The ThinkGeek Newsletter!

April 25, 2007

Hello Folks,

Last time you heard from us we were slinging the 8-bit tie, SurgeStix and the Wiihelm at you. Many of you laughed at us for making such impossible things. You said things to us, things like "Haha! We laugh at you for such impossible things!". When you clicked 'add to cart' though, the joke was on you. But it seems you tired of being at the constant end of a joke, so thousands of you somehow massed together and demanded we make the 8-bit tie for real. Here we are three weeks later, and, well, that 8-bit tie that started out as an April first gag is in full production at one of the thousands of secretly located ThinkGeek Divisional Manufacturing Campuses across the globe. No joke. What will be hilarious in a 'not really' way though is if all those thousands of you just pretended to really want one...hrrrmmm...

Travel & Power Category. Yay!!

A Whole Bunch Of New Travel & Power Gadgets

Travel & Power Category!

Geeks have such huge brains and massive talent, they're often asked to travel the world to apply their knowledge and abilities to the far corners of the Earth. We know you're busy active people, and want to help make traveling a little easier. We've added a new Travel and Power section for the geek-on-the-go. In it you'll find awesome and unique items designed to bring great justice to your geek life. The Smart AC USB Power Inverter and Powermonkey Portable charger will solve your on-the-road power problems. For secure gear (and passport) storage, check out the Gadget Bag, Yoggie GateKeeper Pro, and RFID-Blocking Passport Wallet. Be sure to practice good hygiene with the USB Shaver and the OSHO Pocket Toothbrush. Finally, stay dry in geeky style with the LED Wand Umbrella. Go forth and travel, fellow geeks!

Checkout some of the latest offerings for the geek on the go:

What's New @ ThinkGeek !!

Yoda Lightsaber - Own it you will, master it you must

Yoda Lightsaber - Own it you will, master it you must

Yo, yo, yo, Yoda here. Wassup?!? Yeah, dawg, I know you're not used to me talking like this, but that "fail you will" voice is just for show. In real life I do not sound like Grover. It's called acting. Well, anyway, I was talking with Georgie the other day, and I said to him, "Hey Darth Lucas (that's what he likes to be called), you know, it's hard to be a small green actor in today's market. Since Episode III, I've only had one audition. It was for Quentin, but I guess he thought Kurt Russell was closer to his original vision. I'm almost broke! Why don't you make some Yoda sabers and give me a cut?" He said, "Make it so," and the rest is history. So please, buy a Yoda saber. The kids love 'em, and if enough of you buy them, maybe I can finally pay the IRS what I owe. Peace out.

Flying Alarm Clock - You gotta get up to wake up

Tempus Fugit! You've got tons to do, and no time to do it. If you want more time in the day, you can either wait 163 million years until tidal forces slow the Earth's rotation by an hour, or cut into sleep time. If you want to sleep less, you'll need a more efficient way to wake up. You'll need to not only get your body active, but your brain active as well. Solving simple problems is a perfect way to jump-start those neurons. The Flying Alarm Clock helps by not only sounding a loud klaxon, but spinning off a helicopter-like top that has to be caught and replaced before the siren goes silent. If you can't wake from that, you may have a slight case of death, and should seek medical assistance.

Flying Alarm Clock - You gotta get up to wake up

Giant R/C Mario Kart Racer - Mario Dreams DO Come True

Giant R/C Mario Kart Racer - Mario Dreams DO Come True

Are you as big of a Mario Kart fan as we are? Have you kept your Nintendo 64 around for the sole purpose of beating your brother in "Battle Mode" yet again? Yes? Then you'll turn all gooshy when you see Mario come to life speeding down your hallway shouting "lets-a-go!". Yep, this R/C Mario Kart Racer is over 12" long and features various sound effects from the game. Steer Mario around your home or office with the included Nintendo GameCube style controller. Set-up some banana peels and turtle shells in your living room (not included) for true video game realism. Just watch out when you hit the turbo button right into a banana peel and Mario careens into your cat.

Fresh new shirts with words and things on them

It's important to constantly aspire to a great new t-shirt. Shirts help you express your feelings so that you don't have to spend any valuable time doing the expressing yourselves. They also cover your breasts. Yup, we said it. Edgy, huh? So today we've got four new shirts to spruce up your spring wardrobe. First up, and by popular demand, is the 'e by numbers' shirt. Everybody knows that 'e' is the base of the natural log, an irrational number, and now the basis of a shirt at ThinkGeek. Next up is the very cryptic 'Save the princess, save the world' shirt. We'll leave it up to you to figure that one out. Third is our 'nerd pride' shirt, with a simple pair of specially designed glasses adorning the front. Last up, and also by popular demand, is the needs-no-explanation 'come to the dark side, we have cookies...' tee. So, quick, hurry, run even to the nearest URL and get some smart tees:

Fresh new shirts with words and things on them

Intelliscanner Mini - keep track of your stuff

Intelliscanner Mini - keep track of your stuff

Geeks have stuff - lots of it. How you keep track of it is anybody's guess, but if you're smart, you know where it is. Whether it's comics, DVDs, CDs or books, most of the cooler stuff has barcodes, which makes cataloging them into a database very easy - assuming you had a barcode reader. Now, we've got a teeny barcode scanner about the size of a keyfob! With its own internal memory, you can take the scanner where your stuff is, click, scan, boop, and you've got a permanent record of each and every thing you own. It ships with database software that can track just about anything you've got. It will even help you with your grocery shopping and menu-planning! Keep your recipes and refrigerator inventory updated, and the software will tell you if you've got enough stuff to make dinner and even make your shopping list. Flipping sweet!

Automatic Cube Weapon Target - Be Kind... No Really

It's pretty hard to be nice to your co-workers... especially when you have an arsenal of mostly harmless cubicle weapons and your stapler just walked off for like the 10th time this week. But don't make the clueless guy in accounting feel the wrath of your marshmallow shooter for eating the last two donuts. Take a deep breath and take steady aim at your automatic cubicle weapon target. Fire off a barrage from your favorite compatible toy weapon, knock down all three targets and watch as the internal motor resets them for the next round. A handy mesh trap in the rear collects your ammo for later use. Feel more calm now? and hey... someone just returned your stapler.

Automatic Cube Weapon Target - Be Kind... No Really

Bluetooth Handsfree with OLED Display

Bluetooth Handsfree with OLED Display

We have to admit that one of our major annoyances while driving is that person who always ends up in front of our car, doing half the speed limit with neck slightly tilted gabbing on a cell phone. This can be an incredibly frustrating thing to encounter and, lest we forget, very dangerous. We feel confident that no one smart enough to visit ThinkGeek would do something this foolish. So if you are looking to upgrade your current handsfree equipment and add some sweet Bluetooth capability to your ride, look no further. This small and sleek device is simple to set-up and use and features an OLED screen that can display caller ID, call status, battery power and even your phonebook.

Geeky Belt Buckles - Dress yourself in smart style

Unless you're a fireman, Gallagher or Mork from Ork we think you're probably smart enough to dress yourself with a belt rather than a set of suspenders. Not only does a belt look better but it also saves you from the embarrassment of the dreaded suspender snap - something sure to make you immediately regret your choice of accessory. You can further enhance your wise decision by replacing your pedestrian belt buckle with one of our Geeky Belt Buckles. These delightful belt buckles come in three varieties that are sure to please any dedicated geek - Nintendo controller, Darth Vader and Transformers.

Geeky Belt Buckles - Dress yourself in smart style

Dr. Who Sonic Screwdriver - The Good Doctor's most useful tool.

Dr. Who Sonic Screwdriver - The Good Doctor's most useful tool.

Gadgets are always cool, but gadgets from another planet are even better. Now, you don't have to be from Gallifrey to have your own Sonic Screwdriver. The Doctor has used his Sonic Screwdriver to extract credit from cash machines, stop thought signals, light candles, charge batteries, and detect antimatter (among other things). While this version doesn't have all those features, it does extend, light up, and make a scanning noise. And since the light is a black light, so you can use it with the invisible ink pen on the other end to write secret messages to your companion. Not even the Cybermen will be able to figure out if you've written down top secret TARDIS upgrades, or just a shopping list for a snack run. Time Lords gotta eat too, you know!

Philips Noise Canceling Headphones - Peace and quiet

We here at ThinkGeek have certainly logged our fair share of travel miles going around the globe looking for new and utterly cool products for the masses. Those flights can be pretty brutal if you don't have some good entertainment options in front of you, like a loaded video iPod or at least some DVDs and a laptop. Audio books and podcasts are pretty good, too. But none of these options will suffice if you have to suffer with the very annoying engine drone that is a part of every flight. That is where the Philips Deluxe Noise Canceling Headphones come in. These headphones allow you to shut out irritating background noise and enjoy your music, movies or portable gaming in peace.

Philips Noise Canceling Headphones - Peace and quiet

Palmsize R/C Helicopter - Tiny Copter Attack!

Palmsize R/C Helicopter - Tiny Copter Attack!

We just can't seem to get enough of tiny R/C helicopters. They're taking the ThinkGeek office by storm... swarming and amusing the office dogs. Buzzing delightfully as we procrastinate on our TPS reports. Even the robotic monkeys are impressed at the tiny size and amazing technology. These mini copters can take off from your hand and circle your desk as your co-workers gape in amazement. Full control allows you to hover and turn left or right as your copter moves slowly forward. Two different channels let you to fly with a friend. But practice-up on your aviation skills if you hope to challenge the expert pilots at ThinkGeek.

Yoda VS Godzilla VS Escher VS Mario - Tokyo BATTLE!

More nifty Japanese stuff is coming your way in the form of a Japanese imported pop-culture capsule toy showdown. Begin the battle with cute marble blasting Godzilla figurines.. each comes with candy. Next attack with a plethora of glowing diminutive Star Wars lightsabers and blasters. Don't forget the squishy but oh-so-cute New Super Mario Keychains including the coveted mega-mushroom. Finish with intricate figurines inspired by the work of M.C. Escher. All are limited edition and come from Japan directly to your hot little hand.

 Yoda VS Godzilla VS Escher VS Mario - Tokyo BATTLE!

Quick Blurbs !!

For those who missed our 4/1 gags this year:

Binary Mom

Mother's Day Is Only 3 Weeks Away - Get Mom Stuff Now

The ThinkGeek 8-bit Tie

Get notified when our 8-bit ties are available

Palmsize Havoc Helicopter

Palmsize Havoc Helicopter - Now Available in Three Channels

World of Warcraft Collectible Card Game

World of Warcraft Collectible Card Game

Green Laser Presentation Remote

Green Laser Presentation Remote

LED Blow On-Off Candles

LED Blow On/Off Candles - Back in stock, finally

Crossbow X2

Crossbow X2 - Medieval fun for the office warrior

Blitz Energy Gum

Blitz Energy Gum - The most caffeinated gum available

Planetary Orbit Clock

Planetary Orbit Clock - Follow the planets, tell the time

USB Turntable

USB Turntable - Now Back in Stock

Buck Metro LED Knife

Buck Metro LED Knife

Philips Universal Remote Control

Philips Universal Remote Control

ThinkGeek Bluetooth Retro Handset

ThinkGeek Bluetooth Retro Handset - New lower price

Office Space Crystal Award

Office Space No-Talent Ass Clown Award

Dear Timmy

Our mascot and resident sage, Timmy the Monkey is a fountain of wisdom. Here he shares his advice with a smart mass in need. Would you like Timmy's helpful advice for yourself? Send it to Dear Timmy. If we publish your email to Timmy, you will win a $50 ThinkGeek Gift Certificate! Read on for Timmy's latest wise words:

Dear Timmy,

How do D & D Players procreate?

Jay from Allentown, Pennsylvania, USA, Earth

Dear Jay,

Well, according to the Complete Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge, the male and female both make fertility rolls (77% chance if they are human, modified by Constitution) and if both are successful, conception has occurred. The chances can of course be reduced by various means, such as by using a +5 Sheepskin of Containment.

After conception, of course, the woman should refrain from excessive instances of casting spells, using psionics, or traveling to other planes of reality, because these could pose dangers to her unborn child. How much is too much? Well, no one really knows. While you shouldn't panic about a spell or two cast before you knew you were pregnant, you should stop casting immediately once you discover you're rolling for two.

Important note! Use of our +20 Shirt of Smiting to increase your THIAC0(*) is *not* recommended! Please use our shirts responsibly.

(*) To Hit It Armor Class 0

-- Timmy

Submit your own Dear Timmy for simian enlightenment and a chance to win a $50 TG Gift Certificate.

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Latest Action Shot Winner: Annoy-a-Tron - Another one bites the dust

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Annoy-a-Tron - Another one bites the dust
Techie Haiku Winner!

Submit Your Techie Haiku, Win $50!

Last month's ThinkGeek Techie Haiku Winner is: Dave, from Mont Vernon, New Hampshire!
Here is the winning Haiku:

    two words never heard
    in polite conversation
    Microsoft Vista

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