Having trouble viewing this e-mail? View it online here:
/* Begin ThinkGeek Plug */

The ThinkGeek Newsletter!

February 22, 2007


Hey there fellow smart masses! We interrupt your regularly scheduled phishing email to bring you this one-hundred percent genuine newsletter - finely crafted from the lazy bots over at ThinkGeek. We would also like to take this moment to reveal to you something very private and personal to ThinkGeek, the one thing you keep asking us, all of you, almost every hour and certainly every day, and that is...Woah! What was that frakking noise? Did you hear that? OMFG, our ears are bleeding. It can mean only one thing, no not a babelfish, but rather...

Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock

The Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock

Built in Bed Shaker will wake the soundest of Ninja slumbers !!

Ninjas are renown for two things: stealth, expertise with a blade, and deep sleep. Ok, so that's three things, but the deep sleep aspect of Ninja life is relatively unknown in the realm of the UnCool (what Ninjas call the rest of the world). And the only way a Ninja can be roused from his or her slumber is by another Ninja. We know how inconvenient this can be for both parties involved, which is why we found the Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock. With a 113dB alarm (a jackhammer is about 100dB) this clock will wake any Ninja without fail. And if a super loud alarm isn't enough, plug in the Bed Shaker unit and add some intense vibrations. Nine out of ten Ninjas gave the Sonic Bomb two Katanas up (their most prestigious rating). And the tenth Ninja? Well... he liked it too.

Check-out this ultimate alarm clock right here:

What's New @ ThinkGeek !!

Star Wars R2-D2 Trashcan - Droids Love Trash... Who Knew?

Star Wars R2-D2 Trashcan - Droids Love Trash... Who Knew?

Trash is just not that cool. Not only can it be dirty and odorous but it's simply low-tech and boring. At least that's what we used to think... until we saw this amazing R2-D2 Trashcan and learned to love trash. This stylish trash receptacle is imported from Japan and is an incredibly detailed replica of R2-D2. Step on R2's center "foot" and his dome swings wide to collect your expired TPS reports and leftover wookie dung. In fact here at the ThinkGeek rebel base we've been generating extra waste just for the pleasure of disposing it inside our favorite droid. Everything was going great until we emptied the trash and accidentally discarded some Death Star plans... then the Rebel Massassi Outpost on the fourth moon of Yavin got destroyed and things just went downhill from there.

A high-tech way to keep from going postal

Work stress got you down? Some people say they thrive on stress, but we don't believe it. Being stressed out increases mistakes while decreasing your lifespan. Awesome! Even more to do, and less time to do it. Which means even more stress! We've got a secret - If you calm down a bit, you'll live longer and get more done. The EMWave Personal Stress Reliever uses pretty blinking lights to let you know when your body is out of whack, and when you're in 'The Zone.' Press your thumb against the little red sensor, or attach the hands-free sensor to your ear, and take deep slow breaths - think happy thoughts. Yes, we're serious! This stuff really works. It's certainly better than becoming some evening-news story statistic. Chill, dude.

A high-tech way to keep from going postal

High-Tech and Environmentally Conscious - Floppy Journals

High-Tech and Environmentally Conscious  - Floppy Journals

ThinkGeek has its share of hippie-types that are big into recycling. Sure, everybody recycles aluminum cans, but do you root through your high-tech castoffs and create usable objects out of them? Unlikely! We took old used floppy disks and put pressed pulped dead trees between them! That's environmental! These are real vintage floppies, 3 1/2, 5 1/4, and 8 inchers from way BackInTheDay(TM). When that idiot executive pulls out his Blackberry to quickly jot down notes, enjoying the attention he gets with his new toy, you pull out your floppy disk journal, and watch as the heads turn. Not only are you saving the environment, you've also got the coolest PDA in the office. Take that, Crackberry junkies!

RFID Experimentation Kit - Dare You Experiment with the Devil?

Depending on who you ask, RFID technology is either the "Mark of the Beast", or a global panacea destined to rescue the grocery stores and Walmarts of the world from shoplifting. But any good geek knows that RFID is nothing more than tiny microchips powered by RF induction that store and broadcast a small bit of data. Want to learn more? Rather than rip apart your passport you can pick up this nifty RFID Experimentation Kit with over a dozen types of RFID tags, a USB based RFID reader and instructions for tons of insidious RFID projects. You even get a cool bio-implantable type of RFID Tag which you should never ever load into a blowgun and implant in any of your coworkers because it's not surgically sterilized.

RFID Experimentation Kit - Dare You Experiment with the Devil?

Bioloid Humanoid Robotics Kit - Your Mechanized Master has Arrived

Bioloid Humanoid Robotics Kit - Your Mechanized Master has Arrived

Cool Asian robots... why do you taunt us so? Here in the US we're stuck purchasing cheap poseur robotic toys while amazing real robots are hanging out on street corners in Tokyo having philosophical discussions regarding whether to overthrow humankind now, or wait a few centuries. Fortunately for you, ThinkGeek has convinced the Bioloid Robot to visit from Korea and become your mechanized master. With an amazing range of movement and versatile modular construction, the Bioloid can be configured as the default human form, or assembled into any one of dozens of different robotic creatures. 18 servos, a full motion editor and visual programming environment allow you to make the Bioloid interact with it's surroundings while performing complex movements that put other toy robots to shame.

Screaming Monkey Slingshot - Send a simian screaming at your superiors

Someone has stolen the stapler off your desk. You see the perpetrator making his getaway, strutting down between cubicles. But don't worry; you know exactly what to do. Hidden in your drawers is a crime fighter ready to spring into action. You remove this opponent of evil from your desk drawer and put your fingers in its capable paws. Pulling back on its hind legs, you can feel the potential energy coursing through its rubbery slingshot-tendon-thingies. You take careful aim and let fire. With a force of a thousand angry tse-tse flies, the Monkey Slingshot rockets toward your office thief and crashes into his back. A primal monkey scream then echoes out over your office; the villain has been vanquished and you retrieve your stapler. And calm returns once again to the office jungle.

Screaming Monkey Slingshot - Send a simian screaming at your superiors

UV Disinfectant Wand - DIY Howard Hughes Kit

UV Disinfectant Wand - DIY Howard Hughes Kit

There are evil, almost invisible, demons all around. Always. Crawling, scuttling, making you sick. This time of year, half the office is sick. Some are smart and stay home, but there are a few who insist on coming in, infecting the rest of us with their savage microbes. You can wash your hands, but what's the point when Phil from accounting doesn't bother? What you can do is wave your magic wand, and the UV radiation that emanates will kill 99.99% of the bacteria and germs in its path in 10 seconds. Oh, sure, they might laugh... until they realize you didn't get sick. You were in the office, holding down the fort, getting things done, making your numbers, and getting that promotion. How was that sick day, Phil?

A couple of verdant shirts for your St. Patty's day jubilation

Before getting into a description about a few new t-shirts we have lined up for you - we wanted to issue a very firm disclaimer. ThinkGeek never has, doesn't, and never will condone the usage of Leprechauns in any situation. A gnome kicks the arse of a Leprechaun every single time. Yet not even an army of Gnomes can fell a Lumberjack, who is himself hopeless against a well positioned Zombie. This is where our knowledge wanes however, as we aren't sure yet if it's the Ninja or the Pirate or the Zombie that prevails in the ring of fire match. Which brings us full circle back to our two new Saint Patrick's Day shirts. Both are, strangely enough, green. First up is a Babydoll shirt that says ':-* me, I'm Irish'. Ha. The last is a Unisex shirt with a green beer equation on it. Celebrate March 17th with techie glee here:

A couple of verdant shirts for your St. Patty's day jubilation

Driving LED Emoticon - Express yourself

Driving LED Emoticon - Express yourself

We all have times when we need to express our emotions and there are few occasions where this is more prevalent than when driving. A certain single finger gesture is the most widely used and gets the point across pretty well when you are angry, but communicating other sentiments can be a little more problematic. The Driving LED Emoticon is a simple car sign that illuminates basic messages to help you express yourself to other drivers. It mounts in your car's rear window and the included wireless remote allows you to flash a smiling or frowning face, "Thanks", "Back Off", or "Idiot" with the simple push of a button. Better communication through technology!

Our Neighborhood, 35,000 Lightyears to the Inch

If you could travel out a few hundred thousand light years and look back at our local neighborhood it would appear something like what is shown in this laser etching. Although, just slightly larger. This is an optically perfect block of crystal, laser etched with a 3-D model of our own galaxy. The "stars" in this sculpture are created by pulses from a computer-controlled laser beam that is focused on the exact spot where each star is formed. There are a total of 136,000 laser pulses used to created the finished piece of artwork floating inside the glass. Also included is an LED base perfect for illuminating your new galaxy.

Our Neighborhood, 35,000 Lightyears to the Inch

Mini-Z LED Desk Lamp

Mini-Z LED Desk Lamp

Coming to you straight from the Department of Minimalist Design is the Mini-Z LED Desk Lamp. This light is 36 inches long and thin as your finger, with six super adjustable joints so you can pose the lamp anyway you like. The 40 super-bright LEDs provide clean white light with low heat, minimal electricity, and a very long lifespan. The optional desk clamp saves desk space, while the weighted flat base makes a perfect spot for an iPod, camera, or cell phone. The color is metallic black. Perfect for uber desktops everywhere...

Higher Precision GPS Tracking Tool - The SkyTRX

The venerable Trackstick has retired. As we wave goodbye to our old friend, we say hello to the new kid in town. The SkyTRX mini-tracker is smaller, and more precise than its predecessor, and yet they've crammed even more features into it. For starters, the simple magnetic connector makes it stay put. The ultra-sensitive motion detector saves power when it goes still. The GPS antenna can track up to 16 satellites all at once. Sure, all this stuff sounds cool, but what the heck is it? Let's say you lend your car to your friend who swears he's only going to the store and back. The SkyTRX, mounted sneakily in a hidden spot, keeps an eye on your car for you. Plug it into your computer after you retrieve it, and watch in Google Maps as he goes from work, to the grocery store... Hey, why did he stop for 3 hours at your girlfriend's house?

Higher Precision GPS Tracking Tool - The SkyTRX

Massive Penny Arcade Fire Sale Of Pure Gaming Swag Awesomeness

Massive Penny Arcade Fire Sale Of Pure Gaming Swag Awesomeness

If you've been waiting for the right time to buy some Penny Arcade merchandise, this is it. We have to move out some inventory and lots of classics have been marked down and discontinued. Never again will these items be available, so click on over to the Penny Arcade Fire Sale, and stock up on the merchandise from the brilliant minds at Penny Arcade, and from Gabe and Tycho too. ;-)

Quick Blurbs !!


More Geek Points Offer To Sink Your Faces Into

R2 Gaming Mouse Mark II

R2 Gaming Mouse Mark II - High-DPI & Programmable

Periodic Table Refrigerator Magnets

Periodic Table Refrigerator Magnets

Penny Arcade Volume 3: The Warsun Prophecies

Penny Arcade Volume 3 - The Warsun Prophecies

Wits & Wagers Game

Wits & Wagers Game - Award Winner


10.5" X-Large Digital Photo Frame - Back in Stock!


7" Widescreen Digital Frame w/USB Host - Back in Stock

Polarity  - Magnetic Boardgame

Polarity - Magnetic Board Game - Back in stock

Palmsize Micro Copter

Palmsize Micro Copter - New Lower Price! - $29.99

Martian Popping Thing

Martian Popping Thing - Relieve stress, squish a Martian

Cable Capture

Cable Capture - simple cable organization

Phony Book Covers

Phony Book Covers - Disguise any book

The Mug of Vi References

The Mug of Vi - Back in Stock

Walking Robot Pencil Sharpener

Walking Robot Pencil Sharpener - Back in Stock

The Superman Handbook

The Superman Handbook - Back in Stock

Mind Hacks

Mind Hacks - Back in Stock

Second Life Store

ThinkGeek now has a Second Life Store - Now Open

Dear Timmy

Our mascot and resident sage, Timmy the Monkey is a fountain of wisdom. Here he shares his advice with a smart mass in need. Would you like Timmy's helpful advice for yourself? Send it to Dear Timmy. If we publish your email to Timmy, you will win a $50 ThinkGeek Gift Certificate! Read on for Timmy's latest wise words:

Dear Timmy,

I was watching Star Wars the other night, and began to wonder something. Stormtroopers are clones of Jango Fett. Boba Fett is also a clone of him. Given that, why is it that stormtroopers can't manage to hit anything when they shoot, but Boba can?

Woodend, Victoria, Australia, Earth

Dear Mat,

This is simply a case of good-guy-physics vs. bad-guy-physics. Good guys always hit what they aim at, often with a minimum number of shots, and bad guys can't hit the broad side of a barn (particularly if the barn contains good guys). To demonstrate the truth of this, take a look at _Attack of the Clones_. In this movie, the stormtroopers are good guys, and they hit large quantities of Count Dooku's allies. Once they have been co-opted by Sidious and Vader, however, they immediately begin to suck, and by the time they get around to chasing Luke and Han down the corridors of the Deathstar, they regularly have difficulty hitting the walls.

Now, Boba Fett is a different case, which requires the application of an entirely separate branch of bad-guy-physics. This branch is roughly equivalent to fluid dynamics in that chaos theory is a factor. Bad guys who have proper names can _sometimes_ hit what they aim at, depending on complex laws governed by butterfly wings in China, which side of a paleobotanist's hand a drop of water will roll down, and most importantly, the desired plot outcome. Just as apparently random events can be mapped to form beautiful patterns known as fractals, the hit ratio of bad guys with proper names will, when viewed from far enough away, form a pattern (in this case, George Lucas' scripts, which may or may not be considered a beautiful thing, depending on your age at the time Episode IV was released and how you feel about Jar Jar Binks).

As an interesting side note, the Star Wars movies demonstrate several other principles of bad-guy-physics, including the Law of Conservation of Evil (which is why one Sith Lord always has to die before you can get another one), and temporal anomalies (cf. Han Shot First).

Hope that clears it up!

-- Timmy

Submit your own Dear Timmy for simian enlightenment and a chance to win a $50 TG Gift Certificate.

Current Action Shot Winner

Current Action Shot Winner: Magnetic ROMP Time Lapse View

Get the scoop on sending your own ThinkGeek product action shots and get a chance at our $100 monthly giveaway here:


Current Action Shot Winner
Techie Haiku Winner!

Submit Your Techie Haiku, Win $50!

Last month's ThinkGeek Techie Haiku Winner is: Brian from California, Maryland!
Here is the winning Haiku:

    No one expects to
    Be stung when using buzzwords
    Hence my bee costume

Wanna win a $50 ThinkGeek gift certificate? Just send us your original HAIKU and each newsletter we'll select one winner and print his/her HAIKU right here on the next ThinkGeek newsletter installment for all to see, plus we'll send you a $50 ThinkGeek gift certificate. Get creative! More details and rules? Visit:


Questions? Comments?

HEY! Please don't respond to this email. Responses to this email vaporize into the Great Nothingness. Use these:

  • to be removed from this opt-in list --> see section below
  • about returns or order info --> orders@thinkgeek.com
  • for ideas/comments/suggestions --> neo@thinkgeek.com

or feel free to call us at 1-888-GEEK-STUFF.

Privacy Policy/Removal

ThinkGeek will never give any of your information, including your email address to third parties, check out our entire privacy policy by visiting the URL below:


Hey! When you created your ThinkGeek account you opted-in to receive sporadic updates from us via email. If you no longer wish to receive these emails, just login to your account using the URL below and opt-out:


 S  T  U  F  F    F  O  R    S  M  A  R  T    M  A  S  S  E  S
/* End ThinkGeek Plug */