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Meet your Customer Service Monkeys, Part Two!

In his natural habitat.

Fun fact: Despite appearing in many videos and in many pictures, this man is actually camera shy!

Last week we started a dangerous social experiment by introducing you to our CS Monkey Jimmy (AKA JimJam). We figured that as the holiday season becomes more cheerful, you'll need to contact our CS Monkeys for advice. So we decided to interview them for you. This may or may not have been a mistake, what with the sheer force of personality that's contained within our customer service team.

This week's victim is Dave. He's a movie fanatic, an amateur filmaker, a bit of a mutant and slightly undead but that only makes him fit right in here at ThinkGeek HQ.

Our totally new, not at all familiar interview:

Optimus Prime or Jean-Luc Picard. Who would be the best boss?
Jean-Luc Picard. I need a human as a boss. I'm not gonna take instructions from a truck. That's stupid. Also, I think I'd have to screw something up on a daily basis just so I could see the facepalm.

Star Trek, Star Wars, Firefly, or Battlestar Galactica? Pick one and explain yourself!
Star Wars. Empire is possibly the greatest "popcorn" film ever. Despite the disgrace that the sequels were, I still remain loyal to the original trilogy. George Lucas is still the devil, but A New Hope, Empire, and Jedi = WIN!

What's your favorite thing of all the things we sell? Why?
Honestly, there is too much to choose from. If I have to go with one I'll take the DIY Juice to Alcohol Kit. Grab your favorite juice, wait 48 hours, get some Seagal or Van Damme on Netflix. Instant Party. I'm in.

How did you end up working at ThinkGeek?
After 15 years of being a production assistant and part time bartender I decided it was time to put on my bigboy pants and get a grown up job. Now I'm surrounded by toys and get paid to talk about Bladerunner and have Nerf gun battles.

What's your favorite part of your workday as a CS Monkey?
As soon as I walk through the door I get a Jimmyhug. This is what I call it when Jimmy gives me a hug. It's different from other hugs. I can't explain how... just different. It makes my day.

Sharks with lasers on their heads, or raptors wielding lightsabers?
Raptors with lightsabers. Sharks are limited to water and therefore only dangerous to swimmers. If I'm going to conquer the world I need raptors. I can teach raptors how to swim, but I can't make sharks grow feet.

What's the weirdest conversation you've ever had with a customer?
I was once asked if I'd ever used the H2GOO. I didn't feel comfortable discussing my bathing habits on the phone. Truthfully I just didn't want to admit I filled a kiddie pool with it and went for a swim.

Timmy looms beneficently over our new seasonal CS Monkeys.

What Dave didn't tell you is that he's also helping train up a whole new batch of seasonal CS Monkeys. Yep. We put this man in charge of the newbies. (Whoops?)

In a way it's a trial-by-fire. Can they withstand the wit? Will they get the obscure movie references!? All that we know for sure is that they'll leave that training room highly caffeinated and ready to take on your most arcane questions, able to recommend the most perfect gift for your great-great-grand uncle twice removed, and willing to quote most of the Monty Python movies at you should the situation arise.

Perhaps we should interview one of them, next time. What do you think?

Speaking of interviews, after two rounds of the same list of questions, we need some new ideas. Let us know in the comments what you'd like us to ask our next CS Monkey victims! If it's work safe and at all interesting we'll inflict your wit on these guys next time.

Happy holidays, you crazy kids. When you call or chat and get Jimmy or Dave, remember that eyebrow... and those tentacle fingers.

[ post a comment ]


meaningless icon! I have to agree, it would be worth the mistake to see Picard facepalm at you. Interview the minimonkey crew! I want to know if they like to play their games with dice, cards, keyboards or controllers!
Sadpear said this 2486 days ago.
meaningless icon! Hey Jimmy! @thinkgeek said you like hugs, willing to hug you but you really need to put the lightsaber and nunchucks down first :P
oohshiny77 said this 2486 days ago.
meaningless icon! Sorry Dave, was Xmas shopping and fried my brain, hugs too, sans weapons?
oohshiny77 said this 2486 days ago.
meaningless icon! Water jello... Still tasteless, or just... don't? HUG YOR FACE!!11!!!1!
InkDoctor said this 2486 days ago.
meaningless icon! Think Geek HQ has become isolated from the rest of humanity. It's about to go all Lord of the Flies in this joint. Where do you stake out your territory and what 7 Think Geek items do you requisition as supplies? Quick! Before your coworkers beat you to them! Also: If you could borrow the Tardis to give a young Bill Gates one piece of advice before the birth of Microsoft, what would it be?
The Girl in CompSci said this 2486 days ago.
meaningless icon! A few questions for future CS monkey interviews: 1) What is the most interesting way you've had bacon? 2) What was one thing you really wanted to tell a customer but couldn't because of company rules/your moral code/your Momma/all of the above? 3) Which item in ThinkGeek's past inventory gave you the biggest migraine in your job?
Little Orange Blossom said this 2486 days ago.
meaningless icon! @The Girl In CompSci VERY nice. *Applause*
Raevyn W. said this 2486 days ago.
meaningless icon! @Little Orange Blossom WOOT! Thanks for the bacony-delicious questions!
Raevyn W. said this 2486 days ago.
meaningless icon! Proud of you, Dave. So there!
Chris M said this 2486 days ago.
meaningless icon! I think I wanna be a customer service monkey. I could be Timmy with a cute bow perhaps? ;) LOL Getting Jimmyhugs and playing with toys does sound awesome---tempted to leave my Graphics job...
Tarabottamoos said this 2486 days ago.
meaningless icon! OMG I think I wanna be a customer service monkey too! :) You all sound sooo fun!!!!
Numbaone said this 2486 days ago.
meaningless icon! I really wish I worked at ThinkGeek....
stagemanageralan said this 2486 days ago.
meaningless icon! Oooo, looking good for being slightly undead.
Queen Amidana said this 2486 days ago.
meaningless icon! *Psst* Give us some more question ideas, guys! What do you want to know about our CS Monkeys?
Raevyn W. said this 2486 days ago.
meaningless icon! Question for CS Monkeys: which would you rather get a chance to fly on and why: the Enterprise (pick one) or the Millennium Falcon?
risforrose said this 2485 days ago.
meaningless icon! Oh that's a good one, @Risforrose!
Raevyn W. said this 2485 days ago.
meaningless icon! A good question would be a spin on the boss question and ask Spock or Captain Kirk
Catchco said this 2485 days ago.
meaningless icon! omg I love the tentacle fingers!!!!!
Bazingagirl101 said this 2466 days ago.
meaningless icon! what's your most embarrasing new hire experience? which do you believe will bring about the endtimes grey goo or cthulhu? what would be doing with your life if you hadn't taken an arrow to the knee?
destroyah said this 2462 days ago.

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