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BLURGH! The ThinkGeek Blog... Grok It!

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December 2010 Archives

With all the new product newsletters for the holiday season out the e-door, we're snug in our offices in our kerchiefs and caps and can't wait to take a long winter's nap. But in the meantime, we're uploading tons and tons of Customer Action Shots.

Here are some of our favorites of this holiday season.

The Epic Cookie Battle Begins


While "normal" people are cutting their sugar cookies into stars and trees and angels, you chuckleheads are going one step further. David C.'s photo of gingerbread Daleks marching into the TARDIS Cookie Jar (presumably to kill a gingerbread time lord) really tickled us in a way only Daleks can. (Must be the plunger attachment.) And our friend Bruno B. sent us a photo of ninjabread men that he dubbed "Santa's Secret Service." But we wonder... on the North Pole, wouldn't it behoove ninjas to wear white instead?

Deck the Halls with Disease & Insanity

Oh isn't this a lovely ornament! ...What's that noise?

Who says it has to be all holly and snowflakes and warm fuzzies? Deby D. sent us a picture of her tree, decorated with Plush Microbe Holiday Ornaments and topped with Ebola virus. Nothing says Christmas quite like hypovolemic shock! And speaking of unpleasant surprises, Michael K's grandmother loved her new ThinkGeek Christmas ornament. We wonder how she feels about the "crickets" that have infested her tree.

A Visit from St. Nick-o-Claus

Santa Lizard knows if you've been naughty or nice

Did you know that in different areas of the country, the Mall Santa dresses differently? If you don't believe it, go to a mall in Orlando and check out Florida Santa. He wears the red pants and suspenders but with a green Christmas Hawaiian shirt on top. Disturbing. Not quite as disturbing as this hanging Zombie Claus, sent to us by Judi D. We wonder what heinous crimes he committed to deserve such a fate. More adorable is Domo the chameleon, pet of Angel T. and granter of wishes to miniature sock monkeys everywhere.

To You and Yours, a Holiday with Cookies and Cake

The nog is a lie?

Finally, our favorite holiday shot of the bunch, A Very Aperture Christmas by Matt T. We really wanted jobs at Aperture Labs, but had to settle for ThinkGeek. It probably explains why we have a claw machine full of companion cubes.

Grab your favorite companion (of the cube or Doctor variety) and a steaming mug of hot cocoa and let the monkey-infested holiday spirit reign. And don't forget to send us your best action shots for a chance to win $100.

Tips to Win $$$ for Your Customer Action Shot

  1. Resize your photo, please! We don't need it bigger than 500 pixels wide and 72 ppi. We'll let you know if we need the full-size, high-res version for the catalog centerfold.
  2. Be sure it's CLEAR. We reject a lot of otherwise cool photos because they're too blurry.
  3. Don't put your URL on the bottom. We can't give you free advertising (or free stalkers, for the ladies).

Remember, every time you send in a Customer Action Shot of yourself, you're giving us a bit of your soul. The souls of ThinkGeek customers are what keep Timmy warm at night, so keep mailing them in!

Timmy on red carpet

You might not peg us as fashionistas, but this week Timmy worked it on the catwalk for a great cause: to raise donations for Toys for Tots.

Our first-ever moment in the fashion spotlight was made possible by our neighbors Palantir Technologies, whose employees (along with special local interweb celebrity guests and one very handsome Wookiee) volunteered to model. The couture was provided by ThinkGeek, of course.

We asked Timmy for a comment but he's apparently feeling too fancy to bother. So we'll let the photos tell the story.

Thanks to Palantir for putting on a first-class event and our hearty congrats to Melissa Vallejo of Beedoodles.com, who was voted best model! It might have had something to do with Timmy's mug, but we are a little partial.

Your Bacon Scarf is lovely! Vogue.
His hairstylist took FOREVER WTG, Melissa!
Advent boxendar, end of day 6

Every weekday starting Wednesday 12/15 and running through Wednesday 12/22, we're going to reveal a mystery prize box* as seen above. You may be familiar with this "advent" concept.

* No, we're not doing this just because we have so many freebies lying around that the producers of Hoarders have contacted us. (We are totally going to get those NES cartridges out of the bathtub soon. Except for that one. And that one. Actually, this is making us very uncomfortable.)

Here's the Schedule of Revealing:

12/15 Box 1, Things that are black
Congrats to our first winner, @katie_did_it!
In the 12/15 box: Various black t-shirts including Tech Support Staff, No I will not fix your computer, and a Guitar Shirt; Santa Vader; tiny tiny cellphone charm nunchucks; a knitted ninja; Pi Pizza Cutter; two Timmy stickers.

12/16 Box 2, Things that are Star Wars
Congrats to our second winner, Trevon K from Chatsworth, CA!
In the 12/16 box: Empire Strikes back slate; plush R2-D2; Vader's TIE Fighter kit; Santa Yoda; child's Leia costume; two Timmy stickers.

12/17 Box 3, Things for kids
Congrats to our third winner, @JermATL!
In the 12/17 box: Timmy clone; R/C helicopter; Jack Skellington night light; Fun Fly Stick; Electronics Kit; Knit a Ninja kit; kid-sized Jedi robe; USB Missile Launcher; two Timmy stickers.

12/20 Box 4, Things that are licensed
Congrats to our fourth winner, Lauren M from Omaha, NE!
In the 12/20 box: Star Trek phaser kit; Moxx of Balhoon Doctor Who figurine; Star Trek car emblem; Bioshock EVE Hypo2syringe; Nintendo wall graphics; two Timmy stickers.

12/21 Box 5, Things that make noise
Congrats to our fifth winner, Jennie P from Milwaukie, OR!
In the 12/21 box: Bluetooth phone handset; Good Morning Madam clock; Stylophone; USB Roll-Up Drum Kit; Retromini X 8-bit portable game system (including wireless gun and 2 wireless controllers); and (wait for it) two Timmy stickers.

12/22 Box 6, Things for the kitchen
Congrats to our sixth and FINAL winner, @jolly1976!
In the 12/22 box: Pi Pizza Cutter; Coffee BeanVac container; Ex Knife set; Digital Spoon Scale; AeroPress Coffee Maker; and twoooo Timmy stick-eeerrrs!
Thanks to everyone--and there were a surprisingly lot of you--for helping us get rid of, uh, participating in our contest. Happy holidays!!

How do you win one of these 6 mystery boxes** which will also each include a pair of Timmy stickers and maybe even some monkey breath, if you're lucky?

You only need to enter once, ever--we'll pull our random winner from all entrants who entered between Wednesday 12/15 through 4pm ET on Wednesday 12/22, when entries will close. Enter more than once and the Dedupe-o-tron will fry your brain with its deadly laser eyes!

Each day at 5pm ET we'll announce a randomly chosen winner here on this blog post, on Twitter, and on Facebook. The earlier you enter, the more likely you are to win--so enter now!this contest has closed and you are a sad panda. Awww.

** These things will probably not get to you before Christmas! Do not count on them as gifts, you cheapskate!


Obviously we have a slightly different sense of humor than your average online shop.

We don't usually think about it, though, until the holidays roll around and people start buying gifts for people other than themselves--sometimes for people who aren't actually geeks. Like grandmothers. Who are afraid of awesomeness.

Dear ThinkGeek,

I was trying to figure out what to give my elderly mom for Christmas this year. My father, who passed away a few years ago, was a police officer; and Mom gets a pension; but she is on a fixed income and is quite frugal. She hates to run the air conditioner in summer and keeps the house freezing in winter. So I thought I'd get her a Slanket for Christmas. I just love the one my husband got me last year. I slip into that thing on the couch, and I'm out like a light in ten minutes.

It could have been worse.

I did some comparison shopping and found the best bargain at thinkgeek.com. No, I did not buy her the skull and crossbones pattern, LOL. I placed the order this weekend, and I mentioned to her on the phone Sunday evening that she should expect to get a box from you guys soon and not to open it till Christmas.

Fast forward to last night. I'm in the kitchen, getting dinner ready, when the phone rings. I see it's my mom, and I feel a slight tinge of worry because she doesn't usually call me unless it's important.


"Hi, Susan. It's Mom."

"Oh, hi, Mom. Listen, dinner's about ready. Can I talk to you later? Are you okay?"

"Well, I'm okay, but... I'm afraid of this box."


"It says 'Warning' on it."

"It does?"

"And something else. Extreme? Yeah, extreme."


"Extreme Awe...some...ness. Extreme Awesomeness Inside. I'm worried about this."

"Oh, Mom! That's just them being funny! It means you're really going to like what's in the box."

"But it says 'Warning!' I don't understand that."

"It's just how young people talk these days."

"Well, why did you get something like that for me? I'm not a young person. I'm scared."

Torn between exasperation and hysterics, I shouted to my husband upstairs, "Honey, Mom got that package from thinkgeek.com, and the box says 'Warning, extreme awesomeness inside', and she's afraid of it."

"Tell her it's just slang. It's what people say."

I relay that to her, and she says, "Well, I don't know. I don't know what to do."

I think I finally managed to calm her down by the time I had to get off the phone and take dinner out of the oven. Still, I can't rule out that she spent yesterday evening on the phone calling up all of Dad's old retired police friends, just to make sure it's okay.

"John, I got this box from Susan, and I just don't know about it. Can you come over and look at it? I think it might be dangerous."

I think I'll have to call her tonight and ask her to open it now. Otherwise, she's going to worry about it from now until Christmas.

I really should have bought her the Slanket with the skull and crossbones pattern. Heh heh. "It's evil! It's evil!"

Happy holidays, and I hope that the Christmas presents that you give are received with less drama!


Thanks for sending us your story, Susan, and we hope we didn't ship the Slanket with monkey breath air pillows! Your mom might call the CDC.

Canned Unicorn Meat

Our Canned Unicorn Meat continues to be met with resistance at every turn. First it was those pure of heart unicorn sympathizers, then the National Pork Board accused us of trademark dilution, and now we're having trouble getting it across the German border?

We just got this email from Ingomar, who kindly wrote us this warning:


I just learned that it is not very helpful to describe the "canned unicorn meat" as "canned unicorn meat" on the invoice when trying to import this.

Customs get really irritated as it's supposedly food and meat of a "rare" animal. For the sake of keeping things smooth please label it as "canned unicorn (plush toy)" or something less conspicuous.

My delicous unicorn is stuck in customs for almost a week now.

Best regards,

Thanks for the advice, Ingomar, and so sorry your diet doesn't yet meet the recommended daily allowance of sparkles.