You've Got to Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Take a Double-Move Action

Table-top gamers tend to be a superstitious bunch. Maybe it goes hand in hand with the in-game proof that praying to the god of your choice can make your arrow fly more accurately. Or maybe it's the result of a chemical compound produced in the gourmet gestalt of Cheetos and Mountain Dew. Whatever it is, we definitely have our rituals and eccentricities. One of the ThinkGeek Monkeys was in a group once in which one of the players would begin rolling before the game started, declaring he was "getting all the bad rolls out." Another would chide him because he was "wasting all his good rolls."

But we all feel there's something more to the dice than just random chance. When the dice control life and death, they become imbued with powers beyond stochastic phenomena. We've all had The Good Dice and The Bad Dice. This shirt memorializes that horrific night everyone has had when your dice were out to get you. You'll roll a critical failure, or worse, a nearly critical failure, manage to hit, and then do so little damage you actually *heal* the enemy, because laughter has healing properties and the enemy can't stop laughing at your feeble attempts. And then, when the enemy's turn comes around, it involves a save-or-suffer-horrible-consequences effect, and you fail your saving throw. Because that's just how we roll. Sometimes. Unfortunately.

"The Dice Are Trying to Kill Me" printed in black on a deep heather gray fitted tank top with seven polyhedral dice with really bad rolls scattered around the text. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. Don't let the measurements scare you. You know how ribbed tank tops stretch? This one is meant to, also. It's 100% cotton. If you have a favorite tank top at home, measure it (when you're not wearing it) 1" below the armpits, all the way around, and match that to the below. If not, make an educated guess. The mannequin above is 33" around her breasts, and she's wearing a medium, so it's stretching c. 5 inches. Measure around the widest part of your chest. Subtract 5 to get a similar fit to the mannequin above. If you land between two sizes round down to have it fit tighter, up to make it fit looser. Also, since this shirt is 100% cotton, if you get one that fits you perfectly, do not wash it in warm water or put it in the dryer. Wash in cold and lay flat to dry. Likewise, if it turns out a little big, but not enough to warrant a smaller size, toss it in the dryer on tumble dry low with the rest of your clothes and it should shrink up a bit.

Also, since this is our first non-spaghetti strap tank top offering, the t-shirt girl would appreciate your feedback on the fit directions above. Did you follow them and it fit well? Poorly? Did you just order the same size shirt you normally do from us and it worked? Or didn't? Also, did your random number generators roll better while you were wearing this shirt disparaging them? Inquiring minds want to know.

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