It's tough going away to college (or returning after a summer of um . . . learning), but we want to make sure you are totally prepared for what dorm life has to offer you. You're going to be facing all sorts of challenges and tests from assembling lofts, to learning your way around campus, to figuring out how to get along with others in close quarters. And speaking of quarters, you're gonna need those too, so you can do your laundry. But you're going to need even more help - and that's where we come in. We're ready to support you through every step of new dorm life.

The Bag of Holding Messenger Bag

#13: The Bag of Holding Messenger Bag

First, you're going to need something strong and reliable to carry all your books and stuff in. Nothing is better for this task then our much-lauded Bag of Holding Messenger Bag. It holds so much, black holes are envious. AND, unlike black holes, the Bag of Holding doesn't destroy the stuff you put in it. Cram in your laptop (up to 17"), tablet, books, cables, pens, pencils, dice . . . it'll hold it all.

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Organ Transport Lunch Cooler

#12: Organ Transport Lunch Cooler

Ok, so you have something to carry all your school junk. But what about the most important thing? That's right: FOOD! The dining halls give you lots of options, but they are only open at certain times and you get hungry all the time. That's why you need one of these Lunch Coolers. Lookit: just slip food into it at the dining hall (but don't blame us if you get caught) and zip it closed. Think anyone is going to question you when they see you eating out of an Organ Transport bag? Didn't think so.

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Miracle Berry Fruit Tablets

#11: Miracle Berry Fruit Tablets

There's one thing, though, about dining hall food: it doesn't always taste too good. If only there was some miracle berry you could rub all over your tongue that would make sour and bitter things taste sweet! As you've guessed by the product name of these tablets, there is. Just dissolve half a tablet on your tongue (spread it around good) and dining hall food will taste better than it really deserves to. This one could save your life!

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Fisher Space Pen with Stylus

#10: Fisher Space Pen with Stylus

Now, one thing you're going to need to do in college is take lots of notes. Some on paper, and some on your tablet of choice. Sometimes, you'll take notes in class, sometimes in bed, sometimes upside down on a swing as you are simultaneously earning money as an artist's model, etc. With this one pen, you not only have a capacitive stylus on one end, but you also have the write-anywhere-ness of a Fisher Space Pen on the other. Extra credit!

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Eastern Collective Braided Fabric Smartphone Cables

#9: Eastern Collective Braided Fabric Smartphone Cables

Oh, and since we're on the topic of smart things, all those smartphones and iTablets are going to need power. And dang are these the cables you're going to want. Not only do they look gorgeous, but they actually work, too! Choose your favorite pattern and connector, and charge your doodads. Remember: when you're in a dorm room, you don't pay for power. So use it or lose it!

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iFrogz Boost Near-Field Audio Speaker

#8: iFrogz Boost Near-Field Audio Speaker

But you need tunes, too. We know you've got a lot on your smartphone, but you need a speaker that will pump those jams out and fill your room with lush sound. The iFrogz Boost is wicked. No pairing, no cables, just lay your smart phone on top and the patent pending NearFA technology syncs the iFrogz speaker with the audio signal from inside your device before pumping it out the two high-quality 2W x 2RMS speakers. Your tunes are then boosted with room filling sound.

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PocketStrings Portable Guitar Practice Tool

#7: PocketStrings Portable Guitar Practice Tool

And as your tunes are pumping, you're going to want to air guitar like a pro. Sure you can use the PocketStrings to be a wicked little air guitar (it slides closed to easily fit in your Bag of Holding), but you can also really practice your guitar skillz. It's got six frets and uses real (and replaceable) guitar strings, so you can practice chords and scales anywhere - without any noise. Never stop practicing and then rock the world.

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Shark with Frickin' Laser Pointer

#6: Shark with Frickin' Laser Pointer

Ok, so this one isn't really necessary to survive in a dorm. It's just a little chunk of awesome and we want to make sure you have one. It's a shark with a laser on its back. Squeeze it, and the laser fires so you can point at things. Or play laser-shark-nado or something. A great way not only to point to stuff, but also to let off some back to class tension with a round of great white pew-pews.

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The Art of Science Advanced Trivia Game

#5: The Art of Science Advanced Trivia Game

Now don't forget, you're at college to learn. More specifically, to learn beyond what most people know. Want a little game to test this? Then The Art of Science is for you. These questions delve deep into the sciences and are HARD!! Plus, if you play with people of different disciplines (i.e., physicist vs. biologist), each will get more points for their own specialty. So you'll really be pitting brain vs. brain on a level playing field. Or you can just memorize the cards and wow your professors. Win-win!

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Rosewill 5.1 Channel Gaming Headset with Vibration

#4: Rosewill 5.1 Channel Gaming Headset with Vibration

But what if you like games, but not board games? What if your games require strafing and buttons and joysticks and macros and chatting and . . . you know, video games! One thing you'll need (other than a computer, the game, internet access, etc.) is a good set of gaming headphones. Not only are these Rosewill Headsets awesome sounding (8 speakers!), not only do they have a microphone, but they also vibrate for added game immersion.

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Doctor Who Bathrobe

#3: Doctor Who Bathrobe

So you've now been gaming all night and you are chilly. And all your clothes are dirty because you forgot about our quarter advice. So, wrap up in this warm and fluffy Doctor Who Bathrobe. It's bigger on the inside (or so you can claim), and it's also cozy and will give you a great sense of protection. Because sometimes dorms are old and cold. But with a Doctor Who Bathrobe, you'll have Time Lord Bathrobe technology surrounding your body. Vworp, vworp, indeed!

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Monty Python Killer Rabbit Slippers

#2: Monty Python Killer Rabbit Slippers

One other thing about dorm rooms is their floors are normally just concrete. So they get cold! And since you're so cozy in your Doctor Who Bathrobe, we need to make sure your tootsies are also protected. The stereotypical slippers are bunny slippers, so we add unto that this wicked Monty Python twist. These slippers have big mouths and plenty of teeth. They'll keep your feet warm AND get folks out of your way. Because they'll never know if your slippers are going to bite their heads off or not.

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Equation Watch

#1: Equation Watch

Ah, look at the time. Where does life go? We've given you a bag to help you out, tools to help you feed, ways to play, study, keep warm, and now: to tell time. This watch will impress everyone who looks at it by replacing the normal numbers with complex equations which equal those numbers. Look, it's a complex equation past another complex equation. Oh, no! You know what that means? You've been gaming and reading and eating . . . and you're late to class!!! Throw everything in your Bag of Holding and break like the wind!

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