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There's a patch for everything else, why not caffeine?

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Get Mean With The Bean And Wean That Caffeine!

Trying to escape the grasp of the caffeine demon? Tired of migraines, sluggish demeanors, and stomach or muscle cramps that so often accompany caffeine withdrawal? Cold Turkey won't work, just ask us and we'll tell you so. What works? CaffeDerm®! So drop that Dew, put down that Jolt catheter, and grab hold of our newly patented CaffeDerm® caffeine patches - they easily apply to your shoulder and provide a steady dose of caffeine throughout the day. These calorie-free fixes are just enough to keep you from ripping your teeth out without generating any brain fuzz so you can actually present yourself as a sentient!

How does it work? Using science, brain power, pure caffeine anhydrous, and your hard earned cash. That's how. Right now you'll get a weeks supply of seven patches in every box! Eventually CaffeDerm® will be available in three convenient phases/patches each with a different caffeine dosage level:

  • Phase One - Junky - 4 or more cups a day, 300+ milligrams
  • Phase Two - Jockey - 2-4 cups a day, 180+ milligrams
  • Phase Three - Newbie - 1-2 cups a day, <180 milligrams
  • While ThinkGeek is marketing CaffeDerm® to its users as a Caffeine Banishment Therapy Aid (CBTA), certain savvy users might realize it also makes a great, calorie free, non-tooth staining, methodology to embrace and even enhance one's caffeine addiction. But you didn't hear it from us...

    HAHA! April Fools!