DOH! You missed out on the freebie!

Sorry gang, but the free shirt deal is no longer. If you were one of the early birds, you might have been able to take us up on the offer of this free shirt with a purchase of $15, but you crazy people have gone bonkers and we're all out of freebie shirts. So therefore, we've had to retire the amazing and incredible most clever shirt ever and its' corresponding 'get me free' deal. This shirt is not resting, it's not pining for the fjords, it's a dead parrot. Or something like that.

The fine print:

• This offer was only good while our supply of shirts last, and we're all out, so no more free shirts!
• You could have purchased this shirt if you didn't want to buy $15 worth of other products. You would have needed to add it to your cart, and check out. If you didn't do that, well... you're out of luck. Sorry.
• This was a limited edition shirt. It's now discontinued and totally unavailable!
• This promotion was valid while supplies last. Only one free shirt per order.
  Because this was a limited edition shirt, we're sorry but there are NO RETURNS OR EXCHANGES.