Too Close
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Don't Stand so Close to Me
Yeah. You're in my personal space. Would you take a step back? Yeah. Another one. And another one? Aaaand shut the door? From the outside? Okay. There we go. We're good.
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Don't Stand so Close to Me
Guinness World Records tracks the Largest Bubblegum Bubble Blown (50.8 cm diameter as of the writing of this copy) and Largest Free-Floating Soap Bubble (area of 13.67 m2), but they don't have a listing for Largest Personal Space Bubble, which we think we could be competitive at. (They also have a listing for Largest Bubblegum Bubble Blown - Nose. We're just going to share that and move on.) They could hook us up to a hospital monitor and take our vitals with a stranger at various distance intervals to test it. And, as the prize, they could give the winner a "Keep back 500 feet" sign. Or this shirt.
"If you can read this, you are too close" in a super big font which can be read from far away on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.
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