Despair, Inc. 2013 Custom Calendar

The perfect calendar for rocket scientists and burger flippers

We've teamed up with the geniuses at Despair, Inc. again to bring you a totally demotivating and hilarious 2013 calendar. You'll get a different Demotivator each month (see below) as well as important dates in geek history. Impress your friends with your geeky trivia knowledge! Never forget Talk Like A Pirate Day again! Send @wilw a Happy Birthday tweet right on time! The superpowers you will gain from having this calendar cannot possibly be fit in one paragraph. Keep it for yourself or give it to that geek in your life who has everything but still finds stuff to complain about. They'll love it, but pretend to hate it. That's just how they roll.

Some sample dates of import:

• January 3, 1892: J.R.R. Tolkien's birthday. Eat second breakfast. Then elevensies.
• February 12: Darwin Day. Celebrate science by acting like your chimp ancestor.
• March 16, 1999: Thousands of nerds become instantly hooked on the EverCrack.
• April 2: Act Like A T-Rex Day. Or as we call it, "Fall for April Fool's Jokes Again Day."
• May 4: Star Wars Day! May the 4th be with you!
• June 10: Ballpoint Pen Day. Scratch giant circles on a paper to start the celebration.
• July 3, 1985: Back to the Future is released, earns a gigawatt of cash.
• August 22, 1920: Ray Bradbury's Birthday. S is for space. L is for love.
• September 18: International Observe the Moon Night. We love the moon cuz it is close to us.
• October 18, 2009: W00tstock is born and a generation of geeks rejoices.
• November 20, 2009: Large Hadron Collider goes live, world remains intact. For now.
• December 18: National Roast a Suckling Pig Day. At least eat some bacon.
• And dozens and dozens more!

Includes the following Demotivator designs:

• Shoot For the Moon: Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. Of course, then your eyeballs will boil and your lungs explode from decompression. But that's what you get for being a damn showoff.
• Love. Money can't buy you love: But it can buy exotic cars and luxury yachts. Once you've got those covered, you'll be fighting love off with a stick.
• Collaboration: When a motivated group of people join together, they can turn problems into opportunities. Especially drinking problems.
• Teamwork: Ensuring that your hard work can always be ruined by someone else's incompetence.
• Priorities: Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove... but the world may be different because I did something so baffingly crazy that my ruins become a tourist attraction.
• Believe in Yourself: Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.
• Adventure: Keep living life like there's no tomorrow and you'll be right sooner than you think.
• Romance: Love is in the air. And it's pooping on my head.
• Distraction: Looking sharp is easy when you haven't done any work.
• Keep Calm: We'll get to the carrion part in a minute.
• Commitment: Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, concerned citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's how we got stuck with the IRS, the Federal Reserve, and the mafia.
• Survival: Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Especially to your friends.

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Have questions about Despair, Inc. 2013 Custom Calendar or your order? We monitor these comments daily, but it may be faster to email us directly or call us at 1-888-GEEKSTUFF.