Portal 2 Blind Box Turrets

Aim away from face

  • Collect all the many turret designs
  • Approved for non-verbal conflict resolution
  • Just try to get close to that baby


Out of stock

Note: These figures are blind boxed (see FAQ below) and are non-returnable.

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Aim away from face

Introducing the consumer version of Aperture Science's most popular military-grade product, the Aperture Science Home Safety Turret. Please ensure your turret is pointed away from friends and loved ones until it has been calibrated. To calibrate, clearly state the names of any and all friends and loved ones you would not like your turret to engage in crisis resolution. (Remember to state your own name first.) Once you Exclusion List has been processed, your turret will be ready to engage in real-time non-verbal conflict intervention with all organic matter within its optic range.

Note: Due to jostling during shipping, your turret may arrive already in Crisis Resolution Mode. Do not attempt to reason with your turret. Seek cover behind a durable, resolution-resistant surface and wait until the turret's internal battery is drained (approx. 659 years, 11 months, 5 days).

Product Specifications

  • WARNING: Choking Hazard. Small Parts. Not for children under 3.
  • Officially-licensed Portal merchandise
  • Collect all the miniature sentry turrets
  • Create your own turret army on your desk
  • Nobody will get near your baby when turrets are in the home!
  • Turrets do not make noise, light up, or try to kill you
  • Dimensions: 3" tall
  • Series 2 contains 13 different patterns, each comes in both open and closed position (First 3 listed come only in open position)
    • Error (Colored checkerboard)
    • Irradiated
    • Invisible
    • Evening at the Improv (brick)
    • Bee
    • Rainbow
    • Lemon
    • Sentry (Original)
    • Desert Sunset (Purple/Yellow gradient)
    • Picnic (Blue Plaid)
    • Globe
    • Tiger
    • Green Plaid (not pictured)
  • Series 3 contains 6 different patterns, each comes in both open and closed position, plus figures of the Sphere and Cube
    • Sentry Turret (open and closed)
    • Red Turret (open and closed)
    • Yellow Turret (open and closed)
    • Lightning Turret (open and closed)
    • Snakeskin Turret (open and closed)
    • Peacock Turret (open and closed)
    • Weighted Storage Cube
    • Activated Weighted Storage Cube
    • Weighted Companion Cube
    • Activated Companion Cube
    • Wheatley
    • Space Sphere
    • Face Sphere
    • When Wheatley met GlaDOS
    • Original Companion Cube & Hoopy
    • PotatOS in Nest with Crow

Blind Box FAQ
You say these are "Blind Boxed." What does that mean?
It means you can't choose which one of the assortment you receive. If you buy one or more units of this product you will get a random selection of the figures shown.

What if I buy four? Will I get four different models?
Maybe. Maybe not. It is unlikely, but all four may be the same. They are random.

I want a specific one now! Why can't you dig around in a box somewhere, find the one I want and mail it to me?
Two reasons:
    1. Our Robotic Warehouse Monkeys don't have the ability to discern the difference between various mini figures. They use their mechanical claw hands to reach into a box and pull some items for your order. You get what you get.

    2. The packaging on these toys makes it impossible from the outside to tell what figure they contain. We would have to open the sealed package and hunt for specific mini figures. This is not really feasible. Or a good idea. Plus, it lets us give you an awesome surprise, which we like doing.

PLEASE NOTE: Blind Boxed products are non-returnable.

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Have questions about Portal 2 Blind Box Turrets or your order? We monitor these comments daily, but it may be faster to email us directly or call us at 1-888-GEEKSTUFF.