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Portal 2 In Case of Implosion

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Cave Johnson here. Note that this practice is also recommended for employees experiencing explosions, blasts, accidental discharges, detonations, eruptions, and eclipses in the workplace. Thank you for your attention.


Officially-licensed Portal gear!

Emergency eye wash stations are complicated. You have to make sure you have a plumbed water supply within 55 feet of wherever you think your scientists might get into trouble. You have to make sure the water temperature is controlled so that there's not a danger of scalding eyes. You have to remember to flush the system weekly to get out any sediment or corrosion. Finally, you have to make sure you have the right signage and train all the employees in how to use the equipment in case of emergency. It's all outlined in the multiple pages of the ANSI Z358.1-2009 Standards. But that's really complicated. You know what's easier? Not installing eye wash stations. After all, you don't have to have them if your employees don't have eyes left after their little mishap! This is why Aperture never provides safety goggles. As long as you follow directions and look directly into the implosion, everything should be just fine.

Sign from Portal 2 (IN CASE OF IMPLOSION LOOK DIRECTLY AT IMPLOSION) on a white, 100% cotton t-shirt. Portal 2 logo on back.

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