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Declutter and relax!

  • Be instantly calm!1!!1!one!
  • File unwanted documents where they belong
  • Encourage efficient use of resources
  • Read more...

$39.99

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 ( Est. 1-3 weeks )

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Declutter and relax!

File important documents where they belong

Your desk is overflowing with stacks of paper. Reports are exploding out of filing cabinets. What to do? Send it all straight to... the Nether!

Sure, we were supposed to have paperless offices ten years ago. Yet even with all the tablets and laptops coming out our ears, we still can't seem to get away from the senseless abuse of paper. You could just toss those handouts in the recycle bin, but that same dolt who just read the slides word-for-word during that insufferable meeting will just print them again so that "you'll have them for reference." Gah! Inefficient use of resources!!!

The Minecraft USB Desktop Nether Portal is just what you need to clean up your office and destress at the same time!

When you plug in the portal, the mesmerizing glow instills instant calm in your office. Combined with a deep, mystical hum, the Minecraft USB Desktop Nether Portal will soothe even the most shattered nerves. At the same time, you know where the portal leads... and there's something extra satisfying about tossing "important" reports straight into the fires of the Nether.

The 8" x 10" portal is large enough to handle the thickest sheaf of spreadsheets. Just roll them up and push them through. The coos and shrieks of ghasts in the next dimension confirm the transfer, and ZombiePigmen will haul them off to be filed. It's like having a Peaceful Mode setting for your busy work-a-day world!

Oh, and if that dolt comes to check up on his beloved printouts you can suggest he reach in and see for himself. The helpful attendants on the other side know what to do.

Product Specifications

  • 8" x 10" Desktop Minecraft Nether Portal
  • Serene, yet eerie purple glow
  • Hums calmly till something passes through the plane
  • Corners are removable if you're the efficient type
  • Doubles as a photo frame for people you'd like to put in the Nether
  • ** Requires 10w, high-power USB port to transfer matter
  • Official, licensed Minecraft collectible

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