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Lil' Vampire Pacifier

For your favorite lil' sucker

  • Pacifier gives your baby vampire fangs
  • Makes baby simultaneously quiet and awesome
  • If baby sparkles, feed to werewolves
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$4.99

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For your favorite lil' sucker

When our copywriter monkey's brother was a baby, he had a biting problem. He just loved sinking his brand new teeth into anything and anyone available and he especially loved the tender flesh of the human neck. And so, geekling Brian went through life chomping on anyone who dared cuddle him. He would probably have escalated to vampirism if not for one angel of a woman at the grocery store. Mid-dairy-aisle, Brian sunk his razor sharp baby teeth into his mother's neck, causing her to cry out. The woman moved in with advice. "Bite him back," she said. Brian's mom looked skeptical. "Seriously," the woman said. "He won't learn unless you bite him back." Mom sunk her teeth into Brian's tender baby neck. He cried, he screamed, and he never bit anyone ever again.

Do you have a noisy baby or one you feel may grow up to drink the blood of mortals? This pacifier is the way to go. It features luscious red lips and a full set of teeth including sharp canines for sucking the blood of the living. Our lawyers say we must tell you that ThinkGeek is not responsible if your geekling grows up to be one of the undead (but we are grateful because that means they can be one of our customers for centuries!).

Product Specifications

  • For all Ages (prefer baby age though)
  • Pacifier gives your baby vampire fangs
  • Makes baby simultaneously quiet and awesome
  • If baby sparkles, feed to werewolves immediately and make a new baby