The pen is mightier than the sword

  • Innocuous looking pen delivers an electric shock
  • Just push the button at the top for ZAP!
  • For adults, not kids. Seriously.
  • Read more...

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The pen is mightier than the sword

This lovely desktop novelty needs little introduction, but we shall provide one so that we copywriters might keep our jobs. It's very simple. Just casually stick the shocking pen on your favorite co-worker's desk, then return to your own desk, go back to your or your ex's Facebook page, and patiently await. At some point, the presence of a novel looking thingy on the victims desk will stimulate their need to touch and interact with it. Much like a pickle might if it suddenly showed up on your desk.

The victim will then pick up the pen, and, without even a nub of conscious motion, their thumb will immediately migrate to depress the top of the pen in hopes of discovering a fine new writing instrument. Instead, as they depress, they will complete a circuit that creates a small magnetic field, which then simulates an alternating current and provides relatively high voltage to the depression point on the thumb. It all happens in a split second, as will the screech and instant profanity, but the office memories will last a lifetime...

Please note, this pen does not actually write as it contains no ink nor an appropriate tip to dispense said ink. So, I suppose we should have called it a 'Shocking Mock Pen' instead of a 'Shocking Pen' - but, oh well - you'll forgive us, right? To make you feel better we'll tell you that it's about 5.5 inches tall. Oh, and it's not for children. This is an adult novelty toy. Sorry Grandma, get Timmy this instead.

WARNING!: This is a novelty gift item and is not intended to be used as a toy or on persons under the age of 14. This item EMITS ELECTRICAL SHOCKS, do NOT use this product on anyone suffering from epilepsy and/or heart conditions. Do not use this item on anyone that has a pacemaker.

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