Real confetti this time

  • Aperture Laboratories messenger bag
  • Padded compartment measures 16" wide x 10" tall x 1" deep
  • Perfect for carrying defective turrets back to Wheatley
  • Read more...

$69.99

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Real confetti this time

I've got a surprise for you after this next test. Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A real surprise, with tragic consequences. And real confetti this time. The good stuff. Our last bag. Part of me's going to miss it, I guess-but at the end of the day it was just taking up space.
- GLaDOS, Portal 2

So you want to show your love for Portal without, perhaps, having to add electric blue and tangerine orange to your wardrobe. Here's a more subdued option for test subjects who wish to remain less highly-visible and aren't so much into the prison jumpsuit aesthetic.

This stylish Aperture Laboratories sling bag rests comfortably across your back, ready to hold all your vital testing supplies. The padded interior compartment measures 16" wide x 10" tall x 1" deep. It's perfectly suited to dashing through testing chambers and running away. Quickly.

Product Specifications

  • Aperture Laboratories messenger bag
  • Officially-licensed Portal 2 merchandise
  • Black, white, and grey colorway for folks for whom orange doesn't work
  • Features Aperture's logo from the 80s
  • Perfect for carrying defective turrets back to Wheatley
  • Flap features Portal instructional diagrams and closes with plastic clips and magnets
  • Interior features:
    • 7 1/2" x 10 1/2" front pocket for small items (zip closure)
    • 3 pen holder slots
    • 3" wide x 5 1/2" tall x 1" phone pocket (hook-and-loop closure)
  • Main section includes a padded pocket big enough for a tablet, netbook, or smaller MacBook (hook-and-loop closure)
  • Materials: Ballistic nylon exterior, ripstop grid nylon interior
  • Made in China
  • Care Instructions: Spot clean with a damp cloth and mild detergent
  • Dimensions: exterior - 22" wide x 14" tall x 6" deep at bottom, 1" at top; main section interior - 20" wide at top, 19" at bottom x 13" tall x 5 1/2" deep; padded compartment - 16" wide x 10" tall x 1" deep
  • Ergonomic shoulder strap adjusts from 5" to 11" drop, features a quick-release clip and cross strap
  • Includes bag and real confetti
  • Ages 15+

"will my laptop fit in this bag, thinkgeek?" let's find out together!

laptop fitting guide
measure your laptop.
like tvs, laptops are listed by their measurement on the diagonal. bags, on the other hand, are measured on the edges. not all 17" laptops are the same size, so you'll need to measure the length & width of your closed laptop.

"but my laptop is at home, thinkgeek!"
if you can't wait, google has superpowers to tell you the dimensions of your laptop if you ask it nicely. just input the make and model of your laptop and ye shall receive.

"i've got the measurements! now what?"
compare your laptop's measurements to the measurements of the bag. if the laptop's measurements are smaller than the bag, it fits! if one or more of the laptop's measurements are bigger, you're out of luck with this bag. try another.

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