Increasing Success By Lowering Expectations...

This year ThinkGeek teamed up with the geniuses at Despair, Inc. to bring you another custom 2009 calendar. Each calendar is a work of staggering depression and includes twelve Demotivators (see below for specifics). Each calendar is also chock filled with a plethora of depressing dates. We've meticulously combed through the annals of important techie dates and presents them to you in this one-of-a-kind 2009 calendar from Despair, Inc. and ThinkGeek. This 2009 Calendar is simply the perfect gift for the person who has everything, but still isnt happy about it!

Some sample dates of import:

• August 4th, 1997 - Skynet goes online. After starting a nuclear war, sends Terminators into the past.
• May 22nd, 1973 - Ethernet invented. Thus begins the ascendancy of the geek.
• September 19th - Talk like a pirate day.
• March 10th, 2000 - The Dot Com Bubble bursts. ROFLCOPTER.
• July 9th, 1982 - Theatrical release of TRON. Always remember arcade culture. Always.
• July 5th, 1687 - Newton's Principia is published. Math classes now more difficult with the introduction of this new fangled calculus stuff.
• November 16th, 1952 - Shigeru Miyamoto's birthday. As a baby, he enjoys collecting coins.
• October 4th, 2004 - SpaceShipOne wins the Ansari X Prize for private spaceflight. Flying car still not invented.
• June 20th - It's International Take Your Dog To Work Day. Mailmen rejoice.
• April 4th, 1984 - Winston Smith begins his diary.
• April 23rd
- International Pixel-Stained Technopeasant Day.
• And dozens and dozens more!

Includes the following Demotivator designs:

• January - Government If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.
• February- Propaganda. What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies right to our faces.
• March - Blogging. Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few.
• April - Customer Disservice. Because we're not satisfied until you're not satisfied.
• May - Tradition. Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.
• June - Procrastination. Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.
• July - Opportunity. I am Dr. Adewole Aremu- a director with the Union Bank of Nigeria in Lagos - and I wish to speak to you most urgently about a matter regarding the sum of $39,000,000 US Dollars...
• August - Hope. May not be warranted at this point.
• September - Sanity. Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine.
• October - Give up. At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.
• November - Meetings. None of us is as dumb as all of us.
• December - Corruption. I want either less corruption or more opportunity to participate in it.