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Submit your Techie Haiku - Win $50!

Originating in 15th century Japan, writing Haiku has been an age old way way to convey a vivid impression poetically in only 17 syllables. Up until now, Haiku has mostly fixated on the natural world. ThinkGeek wants to bring the same poetic substance to the technological realm.

Can you write techie Haiku? Of course you can. It doesn't matter that poets and technologists have little in common other than passion and brains. So whether you enjoy technology, have a way with words or at least have a proclivity to try something new - send ThinkGeek your techie Haikus. If you do, we may just send you a $50 ThinkGeek Gift Certificate. (Read the details.) Express yourself to strangers! It's cathartic!

Past winners made famous in our newsletter

Yes, I am a nerd
I have a social life, though
It is IRC
--Julia from Pennsburg, PA

No windows in here.
Ambiguity prevails.
Ode, Schrodinger's Cat.
--Carly from Brighton, MI

Geeks watch Olympics
Dreaming athletic prowess
Content with tech skills
--Tanya from Ontario, Canada

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy - but I'm
a zombie, so BRAAAAAAAAAINS.
--Heather from Manchester, NH

The Higgs has been found?
Heavy stuff. Now to explore
Supersymmetry.
--Anton from Hallsberg, Sweden

Clouds in soup fractal
heterogeneous miso
a Julia set
--Nick from Chicago, IL

Smartphone is broken.
Withdrawal symptoms include
Smashing, cursing, tears.
--Maryam from Ottawa, Canada

The video plays
My wait has come to an end
I buffer no more.
--Peter B. from Essex Jct., VT

Falcon at light speed
wit banter swagger shoot first
carbonite classic
--Melissa H. from Ypsilanti

Fix one problem now
Get yet another phone call
Parent users sigh
--Mike from the server room

Bug in my software
Disappears when in testing
Curse you, Heisenberg
--Andrew from Ottawa, Canada

We are no strangers
Never gonna give you up
Ain’t gonna let go
--Rick from Richmond, England

It's common knowledge:
Just ore and wheat--that's what true
cities are made of.
--CBryan from Jamesburg, NJ

Sonic screwdriver
Set to stun. I've just made a
Mixed geek reference.
--Carlene from Alberta, Canada

The rich rainbow hues
reflect ad infinitum.
Ah, my lovely dice!
--Liz S. from Brooklyn, NY

Takes my breath away
A whisper separates us -
asymptotic kiss.
--David from Medina, OH

C-Beams in the dark
Ships burning near Orion
Lost like tears in rain
--J from Yamagata, Japan

I once wrote haiku,
until the day I took an
arrow to the knee.
--Jeff from Columbia, Missouri

A world with two suns
You'd think they'd have two shadows
What's up, Tatooine?
--Laurel from Edwards, IL

Grenades would be nice
But I’d rather let River
Fight them damn reavers
--Lindsay in Ottowa, Canada

Sound geeky you must
When speak like Yoda you do.
Care you must not, hmm?
--Ben from Bolingbrook, IL

A stray neutrino
Pulled over by the police,
For breaking the law
--Kyle R. from Halifax, Canada

A clever haiku?
Not something I can do since
The good ones argon.
--Justin, from Phoenix, AZ

Rose: red. Violet: blue.
Haikuception: a poem
within a haiku.
--Christie, from Boston, MA

Zombies are not dead,
but they're not alive, either.
They're Schrödinger's men.
--Allyn, San Antonio, TX

Centuries ago,
discipline of haiku born:
Japanese Twitter.
--Maureen in Medford, Oregon

Error 404:
Your haiku could not be found.
Try again later.
--Mitchell from Shubenacadie, NS, Canada

Need a screwdriver
IT says vodka in fridge
work has many tools
--Drama from Ventura, CA

If time is money,
Are ATMs time machines?
Your mind has been blown.
--Evan from Trophy Club, Tx

*Ring* Hello, IT.
*Sigh* Have you tried turning it
Off and on again?
--Stephen from Dallas Texas

My plasmids unmatched
Guns and drill upgraded too
Call me Big Daddy
--Jonathan from Marietta, GA

Welcome to testing
at the enrichment center
Time for your suprise!
--Eddie from St.Augustine, FL

Somewhere in a box,
A deep and dark voice bellows:
"I... HAZ... CHEEZBURGER!!!"
--Travis from Five Points, Alabama.

Enter the cavern
Nothing but darkness surrounds
Oh no, it's a grue!
--Travis from Easton, PA.

When I was small you
Got me hooked on PC games
Five MMORPGs later--thanks Dad.
--Alex from Massachusetts

Bacon, king of meats
its just pig strips, but when cooked:
Happy salt fat joy
--Ron from Virginia Beach, Virginia

Zombie in my room
Trying to chew my face off
Should have double tapped
--Carrie from Middle of Nowhere, Iowa

1981
I'm into Space Invaders
2600
--Erik from Surprize, Arizona

Watching Doctor Who
Thinking of a smart haiku
Look, I'm a poet
--Peter from Seattle, Washington

Luke's Facebook status:
Kissed my sister, epic fail.
Han Solo liked it.
--Shea from Alderaan

Internet cafe--
where two people go to meet
Facebook to Facebook
--Poppy from Laurel, Mississippi

The dog looks at our
Lovely opposable thumbs
And curses Darwin.
--Bean from Atlanta, Georgia

The secret to life
Is contained in this Haiku:
Oops, ran out of room.
--Dan from Memphis, Tennessee

error in syntax
haiku dot c line two
too few syllables
--Daniel from Gig Harbor, Washington

As I roll the Dice
The Ilithid cut in twain
I rolled a twenty
--Loki from Mebane, North Carolina

A chubby and plump,
right jolly old elf 'til the
TSA pat down.
--Charlie from Lakeland, Florida

Sitting all alone
warming up the porcelain
playing Angry Birds...
--Tyler from Morris County, New Jersey

Much to Luke's dismay,
Darth Vader wanted to say
"No, I am bacon."
--Christel from Fremont, California

Though noble and proud
with no valence electrons
Argon is lonely.
--Derek from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

When faced with trouble
And in need of an escape
Divide by zero.
--Safiya from Vancouver, Canada

Daylight savings time.
With new Soviet iPhone,
The clock sets YOU back.
--Stephen from North Kingstown, RI

I promised not to
Feed Mogwais after midnight.
Get the microwave!
--Thomas from Wichita, Kansas

Lets go back in time
When vampires don't sparkle
and write a good book
--Matthew "Peaches" from Baltimore

Why kill Wash and Book?
Are they thinking what I am?
Firefly Zombies!
--Barak from East Brunswick, New Jersey

This tiny haiku
is just sixty characters;
ideal for Twitter.
--Lindsay from Saint Louis, Missouri

School is back again
I guess it's really good that
I go to Hogwarts
--Hope from Santa Fe, New Mexico

Don't argue with a
Mobius strip because it
Will be one-sided
--Jimmy from Poughquag, New York

Zombies everywhere
Time to nut up or shut up
Twinkies here I come.
--Carol in Eerie, Pennsylvania

Soon We'll Have Toasters
Folding Our Towels Until
The Thousand Year War
--Kelly in Dagobah, Outer Rim Territory

You light me so well,
Beautiful particle.
Or are you a wave?
--Craig in Coral Springs, Florida

Han snatches a kiss,
a droid interrupts them, and
Leia runs away.
--Leah in Morgantown, WV

iPhone addiction
I must overcome. Oh, wait
There's an App for that.
--Chris in Waldorf, Maryland

iPhone left in bar
Supposed to be a secret
Woops, there goes my job
--Katharine in Irvine, California

Take me to the black
I am a leaf on the wind
My Serenity
--Jennifer in Dallas, Texas

Every other one
Is divisible by two
Now is that not odd?
--Darrin in Ontario, Canada

i was quite hungry
so i went to my laptop
i love homemade Pi
--Martha in Newfoundland, Canada

The simple act of
Inspecting a mere haiku
Is fraught with peril
--Michael in Perth, Australia

I am all around,
Yet some can't seem to find me.
I am Internet.
--Terry in San Francisco, California

To get some more hearts
Press up, down, up, down, left, right
Left, right, B, A, Start
--Jack in Wilton, New Hampshire

Please Do Not Hit Me
Mages Can Not Take Damage
I Am Too Squishy
--Racheal in Lothering, Ferelden

Told my boss swine flu,
but I really came down with
Modern Warfare 2.
--Jason in Orlando, Florida

LOLcat is pronounced
"Lawl cat" or "L-O-L cat"
Which makes haikus hard.
--Noah in Spring Lake, New Jersey

I've always wondered
what solder really tastes like.
Um, hospital, please.
--Adam in Rock Hill, South Carolina

All I want is to
Find a pretty orc girlfriend,
But DM says no.
--Ian in Somers Point, New Jersey

Beware of Bathrooms
Rule number two. Number two?
Coincidence? Hmm.
--Jae in Charleston, Illinois

Divide by zero;
Stephen Hawking can do this.
Black holes will ensue...
--David in St. Joseph, Missouri

When I read haiku,
I hear it in the voice of
William Shatner.
--Shannon in Wall, New Jersey

Bugs and viruses
Incompetent end users
Job security...
--Janice in Edmond, Oklahama

Sitting in my lab.
Look at all the mutagens.
I could be super...
--Alex in East Lansing, Michigan

the tricorder broke
communicator is dead
and my shirt is red
--Jeffrey in Dallas, Texas

Use the Force, Malcolm
Gorram reavers on our tail!
Oops, wrong universe.
--Taylor in Montgomery, Alambama

Eat Theobromine.
Drink methyltheobromine.
Heliophobe, I.
--Zach in Tyler, Texas

like mom used to say
"zombie is as zombie does"
so i ate her brains
-- Manuel in Beunos Aires, Argentina

Hold infinity,
within the palm of your hand.
Buffer overflow.
-- Paul in Durham, United Kingdom

Haikus are easy
Yes, even with my eyes closed
See, thhy are npt hrad!
-- Micah in Phoenix, Arizona

WITH ALL CAPS I TYPE
LOUDLY I YELL EVERYTHING
I FEEL IMPORTANT!
-- Ed in Logan, Utah

Execute Spybot,
Please click Ni to continue.
Damn Trojan Rabbits
-- Julian in Black Mesa, City 17

Droning on and on
Talking about the atom
What an awful Bohr.
-- Michael in Johnston, Rhode Island

Pi day celebrates
An irrational number.
Pi is not a lie.
-- Anne in Elwood, Australia

Net Neutrality
Keep the Man off my bandwidth
Don't throttle me, bro.
-- Eric in Lincoln, Nebraska

The next big idea
Will soon sweep across the net
Oh, it just finished.
-- Gilmore in Melbourne, Australia

Imagination
More important than knowledge
Great example: LOST
-- Brandon in Hinesville, Georgia

Hot Anime Girls
Never Gonna Give You Up
No! Not Rick Astley!
-- Lauren, White Bear Lake, Minnesota

Developer Zen:
"Ignore this error message."
What do I do now?
-- Stephen in Deerfield, Massachusetts

One Two Seven Dot
Zero Dot Zero Dot One
There's no place like home.
-- Martin in Bedford, United Kingdom

Your razor-sharp wit
Can never stand up to my
Adamantium
-- Anna in St. Louis, Missouri

Chekov in the bay
searching hard for some space fuel
Nuclear wessels
-- Jay in Murfreesboro, Tennessee

I bit a zombie.
it was ironic but the
taste was terrible.
-- Blake in Tulsa, Oklahoma

Learn from the Jedi.
Discipline, control, respect.
Dangerous muppet.
-- Patrick in Anaheim, California

Packets of photons
Streaming by our planet's sky
their address divine
-- Michaline in Chicago Illinois

Hum of computer
Torrenting throughout the night
Don't forget to seed.
-- Michael from Houston, Texas

ThinkGeek plastic bag
Promises a monkey's breath
Much like cake is lie.
-- Andy in Core, West Virginia

Steaming hot laptop
On my boyfriend's lap becomes
Form of birth control.
-- Hana in The Shire, Middle Earth

I can't do haiku
I will always get them wrong
Oh, wait. Never mind.
-- Randy in Bradley, Illinois

run ThinkGeekHaiku
Segmentation fault (core dumped)
I hate debugging
-- Aaron in Simi Valley, California

Some haiku are strange
They don't make very much sense
A series of tubes
-- Sean in Eugene, Oregon

Spam in my inbox.
Can I really help this guy?
From Nigeria?
-- Timothy in Peterborough, England

I love the tech life
It lets me IM the guy
Sitting next to me
-- Akela in San Francisco, California

the sun warms my face
it is a lovely....ding dong
wait, I have IM
-- Rhett in Hammond, Louisiana

Client with no specs.
Wants results in two weeks time.
Must. Not. Kill. Must. Not.
-- Shane in River Ridge, Louisiana

TPS reports.
Didn't make a coversheet.
See you here Sunday.
-- Dan in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida

I hate dungeons, but
I guess beauty's in the eye
of The Beholder.
-- Kat in Virginia Beach, Virginia

The Mac hates popcorn
I dropped some on the keyboard
It kernel panicked
-- Derek in Hoboken, New Jersey

two words never heard
in polite conversation
Microsoft Vista
-- Dave in Mont Vernon, New Hampshire

There once was a boy with mind quick
And ThinkGeek dot com he did trick.
They expected to find,
Haikus in a line.
What they got instead was a lim'rick
-- Alex in Melbourne, Australia

jIba' Quo'nos-daq
qeqtaHvIS tIQqu' lurDech:
tlhIngan Haiku!

Translation:

I sit here on Quo'nos
Practicing the ancient tradition:
Klingon Haiku.
-- Dale in Redding, California

THE DETAILS

  • Create your own original Haiku and email it to us (see below!)
  • Haikus are three lines, with the first line having five syllables, the second seven and the third five. If you don't know what a syllable is, hold your breath and repeat until blue. Or if you prefer, see the samples below.
  • Your Haiku MUST be geeky and/or infused with a technological bent.
  • We'll accept anything (because we don't have an imperfect Haiku filter...YET!), but what we are mostly looking for are Haiku that meet the criteria above and also any of the following:
    • Convey a complex technology truism into seventeen flowing syllables
    • Take a mundane, prosaic techie activity and through poetry show us some simple humor
    • Relate to current events in the technology world
    • Catch our eye at the perfect angle! (which means everybody should try, our eyes are all over the place)

HOW DO I GET STARTED?

  • Agree to our very basic terms below
  • Email the following to haiku@thinkgeek.com:
    • Your First Name
    • Your location (City/State or City/Country)
    • Your Haiku
  • We'll notify each winner by email. Only one winner will be selected for each newsletter.
  • We'll only publish results via our monthly newsletter (not subscribed?) that include your name, your location as well as your Haiku. So give us all three or you can't win!
  • We will NOT post your last name under any circumstances. If you prefer that we do not post your first name, please let us know.

THE TERMS / CONDITIONS / LEGALESE

  • By submitting your Haiku to ThinkGeek, you assert that the Haiku is your original material. You will indemnify ThinkGeek should you submit the copyrighted material of others without permission.
  • ThinkGeek will select winners based on its own subjective criteria.
  • ThinkGeek will select one winner prior to each Newsletter it sends out. The winning Haiku will be published within our newsletter along with the First name and location of the author as submitted above.
  • One winner per ThinkGeek newsletter will receive a $50 ThinkGeek gift certificate via email.
  • You can submit as many original Haikus as you like, please keep them within a single email to make it easier on us though.
  • If you submit your original Haiku and it doesn't win for a specific newsletter, you may choose to re-submit the same Haiku in the future. But hey, it didn't win for a reason. So try 'refining' it ;)
  • Your submitted Haiku will become the property of ThinkGeek, Inc.
  • ThinkGeek reserves the right to change the terms of this contest at any time, and we may terminate the contest at any time, at our discretion.
  • Any submission to haiku@thinkgeek.com consititutes agreement with these terms.
  • ThinkGeek is not evil, never has been, nor will ever be. Period.

ThinkGeek Techie Haikus Didn't Make Me Famous, But They Helped Me Vent!