An Electronic Spirograph on Steroids...

Didn't you always want to be the exciting guy at the party? Err, not that kind of party. The other kind. You know, you were a 16th level Halfling Paladin but no matter how the dice rolled, it seemed like your DM always slightly favored Bob the dwarf mage. Why? Because Bob was a dwarf mage and because Bob brought the cheetos. Screw Bob. You have a Pocket Laser Light Show now. Whenever you are feeling down and out, just break it out, point it to the nearest cavern wall, turn it on, and stare in awe as you deftly control the opposing dials and switches to change the mesmerizing and seemingly endless display of pulsating, morphing laser beam patterns. It even includes a wrist strap so if you happen upon a Chromatic Dragon, and roll to save, you AND your pocket laser light show will live happily ever after...

ThinkGeek, How does it work?
Turn the unit on to either auto or manual mode. Optionally flip up the easel and just set it on the table projecting on a wall. The unit will automatically cycle through a myriad of pulsating patterns and shapes. This leaves your hands free for maximum beverage handling. Or if you want control, select manual mode and you can control via two switches and two rotating dials the precise pattern and rhythm that the red lasers display. The further you are holding the unit from wall or ceiling, the bigger the display will become. Hundreds of variations in the display are possible. Most are very spirographical and symmetrical patterns. Including a butt. Though some folks will mistake the butt for a lima bean, don't let them fool you. It's definitely a butt.