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The ThinkGeek Newsletter!
March 19, 2008
You may have noticed that we're normally a pretty irreverent bunch here at ThinkGeek. But news of the passing of Gary Gygax and Arthur C. Clarke has hit us pretty hard and it's a sad time for the monkeys here at Geek Central. Some of us remember coloring in the numbers on our first set of dice, and many of us will forever think of a beautiful rotating space station when hearing The Blue Danube. Each of us would be very different in real life were it not for the contributions these two visionaries made to our fantasy lives. So giant thanks from us here at ThinkGeek to Gary Gygax and Arthur C. Clarke for helping to shape us into the geeks we are today, and as many other folks have already mentioned, we will critically miss you both... and they say that on the other side of this mortal coil "it's full of stars."
Now, roll a 20 or throw a bone in the air for respect, shake off the effects of that #00ff00 ethanol many of you imbibed over the last few days and let us move along...
High-Tech Office-Based Prank Device
With the advent of the incessantly beeping and easily concealable Annoy-a-tron,
ThinkGeek has ushered in a new era of sophisticated office
pranks sure to drive your co-workers bonkers while you snicker silently
at your desk. Now the next advanced level in stealthy office-joke
electronics is ready for your enjoyment. The Phantom Keystroker may
look like a harmless circuit board, but it's actually a devious
contraption of unlimited office-based torture.
Simply discreetly attach
the Phantom Keystroker to any extra USB port on your victim's computer,
no drivers needed. The Keystroker emulates a keyboard and mouse and
periodically makes random mouse movements and types out odd garbage
text and phrases. Your hapless co-worker pal will think his computer
has been possessed or infected by a destructive virus. As he writhes in
anger and furiously dials tech support you can rest easy with a job well done.
Hey! You! Don't you already have the perfect target in mind?
What's New @ ThinkGeek !!
Get A Free Micro-Spy Remote- Great 4/1 Gag!
Hey folks! Just in time for April Fools Day, you can get this handy
micro universal remote - gratis! Imagine the fun you'll have walking
in and out of your local sports bars and subtly turning off the big
games, or just changing channels. Just be sure that you also pretend to
be just as mad as everybody else when it happens. We'll let you figure
out how to use it, but the important part is how you get it, and it's
simple. Just have at least $25 worth of goodies in your cart (not
including the Micro Spy Remote), and type in the code SPORTS during
check-out and we'll automagically insert one of these devious little
gems into your cart at zero cost. Hurry up though, this offer expires
New display technology on your wrist - The E-Ink Watch
LED & LCD watches are so old school. Upgrade to our newest watch that
uses E-Ink to enable you to change the look of your watch face with the
push of a button. Select from four different dial looks, two different
color options, and change from digital time to date display for a total
of 16 different display options. E-Ink has an appearance similar to ink
on paper and can dynamically invert from black on white or white on
black. Plus, power consumption is minimal (with an expected battery
life of two years) and has a very wide viewing angle.
Camera Sunglasses - Hidden camera with remote control
We all remember seeing those incredible ads for x-ray specs in the back
of comic books and some of us probably even mailed in the $3 to a PO
Box in New Jersey for rush delivery. "Surprise your friends with
amazing x-ray vision" the ads would read. Yeah, someone is going to be
surprised but it's not going to be your friends. These camera
sunglasses certainly aren't x-ray specs, but they do capture 1.3
megapixel still images (at a resolution of 1280x1024). The included RF
remote-control is ideal for easy, stealth-style photo shooting.
Colored Flame Candles - Fire GOOD! Color Fire BETTER!
You've seen artificial candles with LED lights that glow with different
colors... hey we sell a few here at ThinkGeek. But how about candles
with honest to goodness real fire that burn in green, red or purple?
These Colored Flame Candles come in either tea light or oil lamp format
and forgo the standard boring yellowish fire color in favor of
something a bit more interesting. Right out of a wizard's laboratory
(or a high school science class lesson), the candles achieve their
special color from a combination of various salts and metals that tint
the flame when they burn.
Weigh in on the Epic LOLBattle
Welcome to the main event. Introducing on your left in the blue corner,
weighing in at over 2500 lbs. (our scale broke), out of Fujisawa,
Japan, the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world, the lolrus!
And on your right in the red corner, weighing in at roughly 100 lbs.,
from ceilings and monorails everywhere, a... pile of dead LOLcats.
Choose your winner. Does the lolrus deserve his bucket or should
LOLcats need to kick it? You decide.
KP3 Touchpad Dynamic Effect Sampler - The Mack-Daddy Of Kaos
Have you perused the amazing pocket-size Kaossilator Touchpad
Synthesizer and the equally stunning Mini-Kaoss Touchpad Effects
Processor but wanted something with a little more musical meat? Well
check out the KP3 Touchpad Dynamic Effect Sampler. The KP3 combines
features from both the Kaossilator and the Mini-Kaoss Pad in a desktop
based format with stunningly cool LED lights underneath the touchpad
based control system that follow your finger. What's more you get the
ability to sample sounds, use MIDI, and store the whole mess on an SD
Star Trek Classic Communicator - Just like Kirk used
Captain Kirk was known for many things: his bravery, his honor, and his
libido. And what did he use to brag about all of those things to his
beloved crew? That's right - his Communicator. In the 1960s, the
Communicator was unbelievable technology. Now, it pales in comparison
to even the most basic of cell phones, but this blast from future's
past is still wicked. And this Communicator replica has all the lights
and sounds (and voice clips) you'd desire. Call Kirk, Spock, and the
gang - or use the super cool hailing feature and have Spock call you.
Can you here him now?
PhotoTrackr Pro - Where'd you take that picture?
The famous photographer, Ansel Adams, once said - "We must remember
that a photograph can hold just as much as we put into it, and no one
has ever approached the full possibilities of the medium." We're not
sure if he was speaking about the art-form, or the technical aspect of
photography, but the PhotoTrackr Pro is an addition to the technical
side. Geotagging adds longitude and latitude coordinates to your photos
by tracking wherever you are when you press the shutter on your digital
camera. The included Windows software uses Google maps to plot your
path as well as mark where each picture was taken.
Molecular Model Kit - Build a big model of a tiny thing
Molecules are some of our favorite things. When we eat, we love the
capsaicin molecule. When we drink, we love the caffeine molecule. When
we drink hard, we love the ethanol molecule. And when we have gas, the
methane molecule is king. Molecules are also fun to build, which is why
we bring you this Molecular Model Kit. Now you can build models of your
favorite molecules in the comfort of your own home or office. You will
also learn how many bonds different atoms have and stuff. But forget
all that learning crap. The important thing is that the ethanol
molecule looks like a doggie.
Dough Nu Matic - Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
Doughnuts are perhaps the world's most perfect food. Those round
nuggets of deep-fried-joy just call out to our most deepest culinary
desires. It's a dark place, full of magic, mystery, and cholesterol.
Food snobs say doughnuts are bad for your heart, but it's our totally
unscientific opinion that doughnuts give our hearts extra exercise, so
how could that be bad, right? Oh, well, we tried anyway. The truth is,
everything in moderation, and that has to include doughnuts. Here's a
simple way to make dozens and dozens of doughnuts with very little
effort. Mix the batter, fill the oil reservoir, and turn it on. Before
too long, you'll be stuffing your face full of dozens of tiny donuts!
Star Wars DIY Force FX Lightsaber Kit - Jedi must build their own
Lightsaber construction can be fun - unless you sell them, unlicensed,
on the internet, and Darth Lucas and his L'Awyers go after you. But if
you are just making a respectable weapon for yourself, nothing can be
more rewarding. Finding all the right parts, however, can be costly
(Adegan crystals don't come cheap). Don't worry though, this kit has
everything. The core unit has a triple crystal (so you can switch
between red, green, and blue blades), and all the pieces you need to
make a custom saber. And you can change the form again and again - just
in case you can't decide between the Light and the Dark Side.
Officially-Licensed Shirt Asplosion
This time around we have six new shirts from some of our favorite
television and movie obsessions, including more Princess Bride, Firefly
/ Serenity, Futurama, and the Family Guy / Star Wars mashup. Our xx-
chromosome contingency will be happy to hear that 3 of these new shirts
are cut for females. But guys, never fear. You still have the other
half to choose from. Check them all out. Now.
GX-10 Interactive Gaming System - Video games you really get into
Sure, you've got a webcam - just bout everybody does, but can your
webcam help you play video games? We're sure you've seen those console
systems with the interactive games that work with your video camera,
but who needs a new console system just for that? This little webcam
comes with its own interactive games and works on your Windows XP or
Vista computer. Fend off hordes of attacking ninjas, guide the fox
through the spikey dungeon, and shoot down the alien invaders. It's
seriously addictive - just check out the video after the link and watch
our monkey flail around. No, he's not having a fit, he's having FUN!
Survival Kit in a Sardine Can - Sardines not included
Okay, so it might not be as much fun as a barrel stuffed with monkeys
(and trust us, that's pretty fun) - but this sardine can full of
survival goodies will come in quite handy. Instead of smelly, oily
little fish, this tin has been carefully packed with emergency medical
supplies, nourishment, navigation aids and more. Put one in your car,
boat, motorcycle, fishing vest, backpack, laptop bag, bike, and
emergency kit - and you'll always be the most well-prepared monkey in
The Latest Action Shot Winner
Submit Your Techie Haiku, Win $50!
Last month's ThinkGeek Techie Haiku Winner is: Eric, from Lincoln, Nebraska!
Here is the winning Haiku:
Keep the Man off my bandwidth
Don't throttle me, bro.
Wanna win a $50 ThinkGeek gift certificate? Just send us your original
HAIKU and each newsletter we'll select one winner and print his/her HAIKU
right here on the next ThinkGeek newsletter installment for all to see,
plus we'll send you a $50 ThinkGeek gift certificate. Get creative! More
details and rules? Visit:
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