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The ThinkGeek Newsletter!

September 13, 2007

Hello mateys!

It's a little known fact that ThinkGeek was founded upon two primary, forty-two secondary, and 3.14 tertiary directives. Each directive was hand-written in a simulated dot matrix font, by original ThinkGeek overlords, encrypted using rot13, and then placed into a vacuum tube. A button was pressed. In an instant, all the directives then vanished with a very impressive woosh. That was over eight years ago. We still can't find them, and the BOFH Overlords are now all like 'Haha, you should have made backups'. Oh well. We still have no idea what we are doing here day-to-day without the lost directives, but we are confident we have identified at least one. And it goes thusly, "Aarrrrgh, September 19th is International Talk Like A Pirate Day". Represent, landlubbers. Represent.

Invaders Door Mat

Back Off LED Invaders Door Mat

Beware of Space Invaders

Contrary to popular belief, here at ThinkGeek we do sometimes like the company of humans. But frankly we've gotten pretty tired of folks knocking at the ThinkGeek secret headquarters of doom during our daily extended gadget play time. Fangirls, robots and the UPS guy are welcome anytime, but to deter those other annoying carbon-based life forms, we've installed the Back Off LED Invaders Door Mat. This nifty doormat is imported from France and features a glowing display and motion sensor. Any time someone comes near, a glowing green space invader moves back and forth across the top of the mat. Potential guests, having left their phasers at home, will usually run shrieking in pixelated fear.

Get your only chance to stomp on some invaders right here:


What's New @ ThinkGeek !!

IronKey - Flash Memory That Actually Self-destructs

IronKey - Flash Memory That Actually Self-destructs

Some jackhole stole your memory key, and now those pictures (you know - THOSE pictures) got posted on the interwebs. Weak sauce. Sure, there are USB memory keys with encryption, but software encryption can be broken quite easily. Hardware encryption in the IronKey is the only way to go. Plus, if someone tries to hack your password, POOF! The encryption chip self-destructs, leaving your data utterly unreadable. The IronKey also packed with software to help keep your personal information, and browsing habits, totally private. It's harder to find better security than this anywhere! They come in 1 Gig, 2 Gig and 4 Gig sizes, but due to the encrypting power of the onboard processors, we can't export these outside the US and Canada.

Dear Mom and Dad: Need geek stuff. Please send cash.

As you head back to school (or find yourself already there), you can get everything you need, and everything you really don't need, from ThinkGeek. Except of course the text books, a meal plan, and rolls of quarters. We have nifty goodies to deck out your dorm, like our geek pennants, and things to make you popular with your roommates, like the Power Squid Outlet Multiplier. Mark stuff in your minifridge with the DaysAgo Refrigerator Timers so you'll know when an item has transitioned from foodstuff to science project. Of course, that's not all we have, so head on over to our Back to School gift guide to decide what all you need to make your education sexy time:

Dear Mom and Dad: Need geek stuff. Please send cash.

Irregular IQ Cube - Train Your Brain

Irregular IQ Cube - Train Your Brain

ThinkGeek customers like puzzles that exercise their brains, but the trick to most puzzles is to recognize the pattern and exploit it. Pattern recognition is second nature to you guys, so colorful cube toys should be no problem! Not if we throw a monkeywrench into your works! Simply by cutting two additional rotational axes into your cube puzzle, we've ramped up the difficulty to INSANE. Now instead of 6 sides, you've potentially got 20 sides. We give you two so you can pool your resources and share with a friend. Enjoy, and try not to hurl your new toy out the window in frustration!

Inka Pen + Mini Moleskine Notebooks - Note taking season is back

Most geniuses and mad scientists have one thing in common: they all keep little notebooks of their crazy ideas. Galileo had his notebooks, da Vinci had his codices, even Dr. Frankenstein kept a journal of his thoughts and feelings. We know you'll want to keep track of your genius ideas too. That's why we're offering you this easy-to-carry Moleskine Mini Notebook 3 pack - durable enough for all your musings and small enough to hide in your pocket. Add an Inka Pen, and you'll always have a writing implement handy. The Inka Pens use pressurized cartridges, so you'll be able to write upside down, underwater, and in extreme temperatures. And it too can hide away in your pocket - you know, in case the Inquisition comes a-knockin'. Though who would ever expect them?

Inka Pen + Mini Moleskine Notebooks - Note taking season is back

The 360 Electrical Outlet - It's Revolutionary

The 360 Electrical Outlet - It's Revolutionary

We've all encountered blockage - and we're talking about the electrical outlet variety here. Your coveted gadgets have a nasty habit of taking up excess outlet space leaving you hunched over searching for more power outlets. The 360 Electrical Outlet features two rotating outlets to fix this problem. The receptacles click and hold in 18 unique positions and your devices stay powered even during rotation. Installation is as easy as a regular outlet since its size is the same as a standard electrical box. Each outlet is back-wired for speed and accessibility. And for the do-it-yourself crowd, clear labels are imprinted on the back of each outlet for hot, neutral and ground connections.

We Know What Back To School Is All About - Swag, Swag, Swag...

To celebrate the smart masses getting back to college / university / assorted institutes of higher learning, we have two new shirts featuring the staples of undergrad geek diet: pizza and beer. CosaNostra Pizza Delivery is a tribute to one of our favorite books, and FREE as in BEER will get you lots of attention. It's a chance for you to proselytize the open software movement to all your drunk friends. Although you might not have much to put in them, we also have two new wallets with retro computing themes. These are sturdy, made entirely of duct tape, and feature an old-style joystick or a floppy disk.

We Know What Back To School Is All About - Swag, Swag, Swag...

Cap Blaster Blowgun + X-Launcher Flying Ring Cannon - Fire!

Cap Blaster Blowgun + X-Launcher Flying Ring Cannon - Fire!

The shortest distance between two points is a line. The most enjoyable way to send an object between two points is a line of fire. And have we got two new fun ways to launch things between two points! First is the Cap Blaster Blowgun. Using only a puff of air you can send a suction cup dart rocketing toward your target. But these darts have a secret - a cap waiting to detonate upon impact. Boom...oh yeah. Then there's the X-Launcher Flying Ring Canon. It's called a canon because with a simple twist, pull, and release, you can send a ring zooming across your office. It'll fly up to 150 feet, stopping only when it hits the ground or a hapless coworker. Ah, hapless coworkers. They are such lovable cannon fodder.

eStarling E-Mail Enabled Wi-Fi Photo Frame

The eStarling is a standalone Wi-Fi LCD photo frame that connects to a wireless network and automatically displays photos e-mailed to it in a slideshow format. You can also administer the photo content of the frame remotely via a web page. Now eStarling has a new improved standard 4:3 aspect ratio model with a beautiful 8" 800x600 resolution display. To sweeten the deal they've completely overhauled the web based interface, adding direct integration with Photobucket, better support for RSS photo feeds and support for groups of frames to display the same photo set.

eStarling E-Mail Enabled Wi-Fi Photo Frame

Bi-Color LED Blow On-Off Candles - FIRE BAD!

Bi-Color LED Blow On-Off Candles - FIRE BAD!

Candles light Great Halls in schools of magical learning; they burn bright in the chambers of Elven Kings. But candles can be dangerous ("Fire bad" and all that), so we've stirred a mix of science fiction into our candles of fantasy and these awesome LED candles are the result. Regular candles will blow out if you blow on the flame, but these LED candles will also blow on. Even better, each candle has a switch to select either a cool blue flame, or a more realistic yellowish flame. From the proper distance and height, these candles will fool everyone into thinking they are the real thing; they are a fantastic way to put candles where it is too dangerous to have open flames. And, they won't drip wax all over your mithril armor either.

Stainless Steel Wallet - Buttery Smooth Steel in Your Pocket

Being die-hard geeks, it's hard for us to get excited about utilitarian items like wallets. Yep, they hold credit cards and some money... they go in your pocket... but they're just not as interesting as usb thumbdrives or artificially intelligent robots from the future. But then we came across these amazing wallets made from real stainless steel and were forced to upgrade our view on wallets. You might think that steel would be hard on your jeans pocket, but in fact these wallets have the texture of silk and are woven from micro fibers of stainless steel. When you touch the silky metallic surface you'll think they were created by sophisticated nanobots... and almost nothing is more geeky than nanobots.

Stainless Steel Wallet - Buttery Smooth Steel in Your Pocket

Geek Pennants + Temporary Tattoos - Decorate your walls and limbs

Geek Pennants + Temporary Tattoos - Decorate your walls and limbs

Time to show off your geek pride. Tired of all the "cool" kids hanging sports pennants in their rooms? Wishing you had a way to reflect a true sport? Then let us recommend a Chess Club Pennant. And what do you hang on your conquered opponent's wall? Why a Pwned Pennant, of course. Get a few and pwn the world! But how to show this pride when you are out in the world, you must be wondering. With temporary tattoos, of course! And not with images of silly fictional characters (like girls or "mom"), but with real life things like binary code and retro joysticks. Sure, you might get beaten up wearing your "Born to Code" tattoo, but revenge is just a Pwned Pennant away. Excelsior!

USB Podcast Studio - Crystal Clear Audio Recording Goodness

Fancy yourself a budding audio podcaster? We'd love to hear your views on the psychological and moral implications of too much Bioshock play... problem is we can't hear you too well through that crappy mic on your laptop. Upgrade your audio kit with this deluxe USB Podcast Studio pack. You get everything needed for crystal clear audio recording and editing. The included USB mic features a 19mm internal shock mounted diaphragm with a cardioid pick up pattern ensuring pristine studio quality. A shock mounted desktop mic stand and Cakewalk Sonar LE audio workstation software round out the package. You even get a sharp looking aluminum briefcase to store all your new audio goodies. Get recording!

USB Podcast Studio - Crystal Clear Audio Recording Goodness

Neckware For the Rest Of Us

Neckware For the Rest Of Us

If you work at a large, uptight corporation, you've probably resisted getting the brainchip implant that turns you into a corporate drone. However, in order to blend in with the rest of the masses, you have to wear a tie. Wouldn't want them to be able to identify the resistance. At least you should enjoy being non-conformist in your little bit of conformity. Try on one of our new ties for style, which come in six delicious flavors: atoms, caffeine molecule, formulas, monkeys (recently escaped from barrel), pirates (pieces of eight + skull and crossbones), and (our favorite) Space Invaders. Neckties never had it so good. Except that one time.

Quick Blurbs !!

Pirates Playing Cards Set

September 19th Is Talk Like A Pirate Day - Don't Forget!

Pirate vs Ninja Batteries

Pirate vs Ninja Batteries - Deadly Power

Star Trek Retro Action Figures

Star Trek Retro Action Figures - Reproduction Mego goodness

Transformers Pillows

Tranformers Pillows - Choose your allegiance carefully

Interchangeable Ring Kit

Interchangeable Ring Kit - Match your ring to your mood

Universal Power Adapter

Universal Power Adapter - Plug your stuff here

Auto LED

Auto LED - Rechargeable flashlight

Giant Plush Microbes

Plush Microbes - Herpes in the house !

USB Security Lock

USB Security Lock - Physically Lock Your USB Ports

Money Clip Multi-tool

Money clip Multi-tool - Something useful in your pants!

Retro TV Alarm Clock with Remote

Retro TV Alarm Clock w/remote - Vintage chic

Queue CD Holder

Queue CD Holder - Like a rolodex for your CDs

Collector's Edition Slinky

Collector's Edition Slinky - In retro package for retro fun

How to Survive a Horror Movie

How to Survive a Horror Movie - Read this book... or else

3 Port Car Outlet Expander with USB

3 Port Car Outlet Expander with USB - Do more on the road

Animated Retro Table Tennis Shirt

The ThinkGeek Animated Retro Table Tennis T - Back in stock

USB Memory Watch

USB Memory Watch - Back in stock

Ethernet LinkCheck

Ethernet LinkCheck - Back in stock

TeleSpy Intrusion Detector

Telespy Intrusion Detector - Back in stock

Black Black Gum/Candy

Black Black Gum/Candy - Back in stock

The latest Action Shot Winner

The latest Action Shot Winner: Vorpal Rabbit Attacks Real Bunny!

Get the scoop on sending your own ThinkGeek product action shots and get a chance at our $100 monthly giveaway here:


Action Shot Winner
Techie Haiku Winner!

Submit Your Techie Haiku, Win $50!

Last month's ThinkGeek Techie Haiku Winner is: Akela, from San Francisco, California !
Here is the winning Haiku:

    I love the tech life
    It lets me IM the guy
    Sitting next to me

Wanna win a $50 ThinkGeek gift certificate? Just send us your original HAIKU and each newsletter we'll select one winner and print his/her HAIKU right here on the next ThinkGeek newsletter installment for all to see, plus we'll send you a $50 ThinkGeek gift certificate. Get creative! More details and rules? Visit:


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