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Jul
25
2014

TL;DR Top Ten List: Top 10 Fictional Curse Words!

Belgium

In our experiences, top ten lists normally have two flaws: they're poorly formatted for quick reading and they are normally wrong. Just check all the comments of any top ten list, and you'll see lots of other folks think the list is wrong, too.

With our TL;DR Top Ten Lists, we're going to fix both problems... with your help. We're just gonna give you a couple of things on our top ten list (to make it faster to read), and you fill out the rest in the comments below (to make sure the list is accurate). Add to the list, argue with us, argue with each other, but most importantly be nice and have fun.

Today's TL;DR Top Ten List topic is:

Top 10 Fictional Curse Words!

WTFrak
  1. Frak (Frack) ("Battlestar Galactica") -- Frak is special because it first appeared in the original "Battlestar Galactica" and was carried over into the reboot. It was so ingrained into the fabric of BG, that it was as important as the character names and even the ship itself! Of course, frack dropped a letter with the reboot, but that made frak work even better. With the original series and spelling, it gave us an F-word that could be used on network TV, and no fracking felgercarb could stop it. With the reboot, we got a four letter word to replace four letter words. Frak taught us that rules (i.e., those governing what can or can't be said on TV) were made to be broken and, if not broken, then creatively circumvented. So, to the writers of BG, we say, "Frak you. Frak you very much."
  2. Belgium ("The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy") -- In all of space, the "most offensive word in the galaxy" is the name of one of Earth's countries (and a pretty one, too). It seems that humans just aren't smart enough to understand why. We went back and forth here at TGHQ, trying desperately to figure out how Belgium could become so profane. And we have a theory! Something happened during the filming of one of Belgium's own Jean-Claude van Damme's movies. One of his spin kicks was repeated once too often and it tore a hole though dimensions. When folks peered into this tear, all they could see was JCVD's crotch as he performed his world-famous splits. This enraged the dimension filled with old people who wanted everyone to stay off their lawns, and they blamed (and punished by way of expletive creation) the entire country where JCVD was born. Or, perhaps it's because of #3 on this list.
  3. Smurfs
  4. Smurf ("The Smurfs") -- Smurfs hit the pages of a Belgian (see?) magazine in 1958. In Smurf lingo, almost any and every word can be replaced with some form of "smurf." How many of us grew up staying out of trouble by replacing bad words with "smurf?" Especially when we were playing that smurfing ColecoVision game. Smurfing Gargamel and his smurfity-smurf castle. Here's our biggest hope (and why "smurf" is on this list): in most languages, there are words that can't be translated into English. Sure "smurf" means "darn" and "smurf" means "poop" and "smurfing" someone is something you don't discuss in public, so it stands to reason, then, that somewhere in the Smurf vocabulary there exists the word "smurf" which is the most heinous of all curse words. A word so vile and intrinsically smurfy, that we'll never quite know how foul it really is.

And now it's your turn. What do you think numbers 4-10 are? Do you agree with our numbers 1-3?

Take to the comments and help us find the Top 10 Fictional Curse Words!*

*One caveat and one request: only use fictional curse words (you know, in case kids are reading). And please make sure to use the word in a sentence.


Written by Mindel, a certified Master of Disguise (so long as the disguise looks just like him).

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Comments

meaningless icon! Goram from firefly obviously.
GavinGayle said this 92 days ago.
meaningless icon! Smeghead: From Red Dwarf... A curse so bad it's been known to cause androids and holograms to lock up.
Eoraptor said this 92 days ago.
meaningless icon! Frell. Definitely frell. Maybe it came after "frack" but I don't care. but I'm going to frell you up and once I've got you by the mivonks...who knows.
zeldaar said this 91 days ago.
meaningless icon! The Entire Chinese language!
JuniperLimb said this 91 days ago.
meaningless icon! "gorram" from Firefly is very popular and (mostly) made up. Unlike the Chinese/Mandarin curse words/phrases they regularly use :)
jasf said this 91 days ago.
meaningless icon! My favorites are "Gorram" and "Ruttin" from Firefly/Serenity! "I ain't getting on that gorram ship!" & "I ain't no ruttin' reaver!"
CharissaJac said this 91 days ago.
meaningless icon! How about 'cuss' from Fantastic Mr. Fox?
jtrobot said this 91 days ago.
meaningless icon! Gorram from Firefly.
athene said this 91 days ago.
meaningless icon! I don't think any list of fictional swear words is complete without tanj. (Ringworld, Larry Niven) Tanj! I forgot to buy that item off Thinkgeek before it sold out!
Kazriko said this 91 days ago.
meaningless icon! Tanj (there ain't no justice; Niven's Known Universe series) This is a good, old fashioned, all purpose curse word. One might say "tanj, I'm hungry," or "that's the biggest tanj mountain I ever saw," or even "tanjit!"
jpm86 said this 91 days ago.
meaningless icon! "Storming" from Brandon Sanderson's Stormlight Archive. "Get your storming feet out of my face!"
devchat said this 91 days ago.
meaningless icon! One of the #4-10 should be "gorram" from Firefly/Serenity fame.
talkinrock said this 89 days ago.
meaningless icon! Luke Skywalker is fond of saying "blast it!" Probably as a G-rated version of 'dammit'. Either way, I love it.
SatchMcCoy said this 89 days ago.
meaningless icon! Smeg (Red Dwarf): Despite sounding like a fancy refrigerator, "Smeg" is a perfect catch-all expletive a la "Smurf" (but better, because Red Dwarf). To quote: "Oh smeg. What the smegging smeg's he smegging done?" - replacing four different curse words without losing any of the meaning.
Nequam said this 87 days ago.
meaningless icon! Gorram. Don't forget gorram or Jayne will come and... well, you know what happens when he aims to misbehave.
Sarah82 said this 87 days ago.
meaningless icon! Kark, as in "Let's get off this karking ship" or "This is karked up" Used in place of the F-word in the Star Wars Galaxy Kriff, used in the same way as Kark. Also from the Star Wars Galaxy. Di'kut, means useless, idiot, dumb. "That di'kutla farmer gave me the wrong directions." From the Star Wars Republic Commando series.
Timefire said this 85 days ago.
meaningless icon! I'll ditto "smeg." Also, it's not sci-fi, but I use "frick" from Scrubs quite frequently.
toniwbusch said this 85 days ago.
meaningless icon! I am Groot
Morlog said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! frelling / frell from Farscape! How is that missing?
Aimee_in_Calgary said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! Dar'vit from the Artemis Fowl book series. It just rolls off the tongue so well.
sarcasticKatt said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! How about an obscure one: "AADJKA!" from The Incredible Melting Man
mgroves said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! Feldercarb. Along with frak, this came from the original BSG series in the '70s. Whenever I'm trying not to curse, I say "frak and feldercarb." Frell, from Farscape, is pretty good too.
KWohler said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! Stroke (as in "Stroke off!") and Shrok from Babylon 5. There is also Frag from B5, but not as fun.
GeekyJules said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! Gotta be FUNT from 2000AD, most specifically Sinister Dexter where it's used as "mother funter"!
zakorath said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! There's Sweet Crud, Drock on Toast from Judge Dredd, "Hooting Heck" from Ace Garp.and whatever "Bidi-bidi-beep" meant in Buck Rogers.
Zerootofallevil said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! Flagnar. As in "What the Flagnar?!" from Monsters vs. Aliens
Flinders said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! You could always use "Semprini" from Monty Python, which is very rude indeed.
Zerootofallevil said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! Flagnar. As in "What the Flagnar?" from Monsters vs. Aliens.
Flinders said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! Not strictly fictional, but I've always liked "fewmets" (dragon droppings) from Madeline L'Engle's *A Wind in the Door.*
KTGeek said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! Shazbot - from Mork and Mindy Felgercarb- also from the original Battlestar Galactica something in Chinese- Firefly/Serenity
FenianB said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! Barnacles! -Spongebob Squarepants
Ponkool4 said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! Tribes' "SHAZBOT!" comes to mind…
Rigil said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! Firefly gave us “gorram” and “ruttin,” and a whole list of creative phrases in Mandarin which I cannot pronounce, unfortunately (or fortunately, since a lot of Chinese people go to my church). ^_^’ “Frell” is alright, but it lacks the hard consonant at the end, so I prefer “frak” for that particular sentiment. Recently I am fond of “shtako” (or “shtak”), as I’ve been watching Defiance. “Fewmets” is a fun one. :-) I’m going to have to remember to try shouting “smurf” the next time I’m really angry… it might just make me laugh myself happy again.
ErinWolfe said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! Smeg /Smeghead from Red Dwarf. Nequam explained it perfectly.
Tommy_Joker said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! Shazbot! I can't be the only one to remember that.
Mordok said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! "Betray us, and i will fong you! Your entrails will become your extrails!" "Fong" from A Knight's Tale should make the list. Though, i think "goram" from Firefly belongs at #1.
d_d b_d b_b said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! Oh! And, of course, "sarkin" should not be left out, though it's hard to say if it was actually a curse in Hitchhiker's Guide. "You are sarkin, frood!" (That quote is from the movie.)
d_d b_d b_b said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! Another vote for frell, heartbreaking that it didn't beat 'smurf' onto the list. It's frelling criminal...
37crows said this 84 days ago.
meaningless icon! Peta'Q from Star Trek. For those who bring dishonor to their house.
5Jango5 said this 83 days ago.
meaningless icon! Frell from farscape!
ian611 said this 83 days ago.
meaningless icon! Scrap, from Transformers franchise.
MAlbuq said this 82 days ago.
meaningless icon! From Terry Pratchett's The Truth, the fictional swear word of choice from Mr. Tulip: "-ing" As in "'That -ing zombie is going to end up on the end of a couple of -ing handy and versatile kebab skewers,' said Mr Tulip."
ivjames said this 82 days ago.
meaningless icon! "Zark" is an all-purpose expletive coined by the late Douglas Noel Adams for his internationally best-selling science fiction five-part trilogy, A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." Zark you! Zark off! What the zark?
ivjames said this 82 days ago.
meaningless icon! kiss my sharries, grahzny bratchny! thou art no droog of mine.
therblig said this 81 days ago.

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