In our experiences, top ten lists normally have two flaws: they're poorly formatted for quick reading and they are normally wrong. Just check all the comments of any top ten list, and you'll see lots of other folks think the list is wrong, too.
With our TL;DR Top Ten Lists, we're going to fix both problems... with your help. We're just gonna give you a couple of things on our top ten list (to make it faster to read), and you fill out the rest in the comments below (to make sure the list is accurate). Add to the list, argue with us, argue with each other, but most importantly be nice and have fun.
Today's TL;DR Top Ten List topic is:
Top 10 Fictional Curse Words!
- Frak (Frack) ("Battlestar Galactica") -- Frak is special because it first appeared in the original "Battlestar Galactica" and was carried over into the reboot. It was so ingrained into the fabric of BG, that it was as important as the character names and even the ship itself! Of course, frack dropped a letter with the reboot, but that made frak work even better. With the original series and spelling, it gave us an F-word that could be used on network TV, and no fracking felgercarb could stop it. With the reboot, we got a four letter word to replace four letter words. Frak taught us that rules (i.e., those governing what can or can't be said on TV) were made to be broken and, if not broken, then creatively circumvented. So, to the writers of BG, we say, "Frak you. Frak you very much."
- Belgium ("The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy") -- In all of space, the "most offensive word in the galaxy" is the name of one of Earth's countries (and a pretty one, too). It seems that humans just aren't smart enough to understand why. We went back and forth here at TGHQ, trying desperately to figure out how Belgium could become so profane. And we have a theory! Something happened during the filming of one of Belgium's own Jean-Claude van Damme's movies. One of his spin kicks was repeated once too often and it tore a hole though dimensions. When folks peered into this tear, all they could see was JCVD's crotch as he performed his world-famous splits. This enraged the dimension filled with old people who wanted everyone to stay off their lawns, and they blamed (and punished by way of expletive creation) the entire country where JCVD was born. Or, perhaps it's because of #3 on this list.
- Smurf ("The Smurfs") -- Smurfs hit the pages of a Belgian (see?) magazine in 1958. In Smurf lingo, almost any and every word can be replaced with some form of "smurf." How many of us grew up staying out of trouble by replacing bad words with "smurf?" Especially when we were playing that smurfing ColecoVision game. Smurfing Gargamel and his smurfity-smurf castle. Here's our biggest hope (and why "smurf" is on this list): in most languages, there are words that can't be translated into English. Sure "smurf" means "darn" and "smurf" means "poop" and "smurfing" someone is something you don't discuss in public, so it stands to reason, then, that somewhere in the Smurf vocabulary there exists the word "smurf" which is the most heinous of all curse words. A word so vile and intrinsically smurfy, that we'll never quite know how foul it really is.
And now it's your turn. What do you think numbers 4-10 are? Do you agree with our numbers 1-3?
Take to the comments and help us find the Top 10 Fictional Curse Words!*
*One caveat and one request: only use fictional curse words (you know, in case kids are reading). And please make sure to use the word in a sentence.
Written by Mindel, a certified Master of Disguise (so long as the disguise looks just like him).