She looks so dubiously at the camera. That's good. That means she's learning.
Welcome all to the third installation of our Customer Service Monkey social experiment (aka interviews)! Last week we asked you if we should interview one of our newly-minted mini-monkeys and the answer was a resounding yes. We also asked you to help us come up with some clever questions to ask and boy did you ever deliver! You brilliant masses, you.
The victim we chose for this week is: Chris! She's a huge fan of Hellboy (can you tell?), Eddie Izzard, The Oblongs, and Star Wars. She's got a keen eye for fashion, quick wits, and is more than a little wacky. Basically, when you call and get her, it will be more than okay to make a "Cake or Death!" joke. She'll understand.
Our new and improved interview:
What makes you the most excited to come into work in the morning?
Seeing the little Hellboy on my desk every time and dodging galloping German Shepherds! I love the ability to talk to our international geeks too, and chatting about the latest episode of Dexter while we process things.
Who would win in a fight: Darth Vader or Morpheus? (Matrix version; Neil Gaiman's Morpheus would win too easily, and that's no fun.)
Aw, Gaiman's Shadow would have been a better option! But seriously, Vader. Is that really a question?
What are your feelings about the lives and families of the contractors on the Death Star?
Eddie Izzard's Death Star Canteen bit summed it up best. I think they were all plucky, confused folks with cockney accents, and it was an unfortunate loss. Never forget! But that's the danger of working on a moon-sized laser ship created by an evil empire.
Spock or Kirk. Who would be the best boss?
Kirk. He knows how to party. But you can't be a red shirt and enjoy working for Kirk--you'll die in a week.
ThinkGeek HQ has become isolated from the rest of humanity. It's about to go all Lord of the Flies in this joint. Where do you stake out your territory and what 7 ThinkGeek items do you requisition as supplies? Quick! Before your coworkers beat you to them!
In the lab! Power tools! Line the area with Portal Turrets for proximity sensors, the 19-in-1 Tool, Tauntaun Sleeping Bag, DIY Juice-to-Alcohol kit (make Molotov cocktails), a mace made from Titanium Sporks, the Dexter kill shirt (gotta look serious), and my TARDIS coffee mug to stay caffeinated.
If you could borrow the TARDIS to give a young Bill Gates one piece of advice before the birth of Microsoft, what would it be?
Wear a black turtleneck all the time.
What was your strangest and/or best experience at ThinkGeek HQ?
Turning around to do something and two huge dogs that came from nowhere were just staring at me, and the office breaking into "Take These Broken Wings." And Jimmy is always a strange experience.
What is the most interesting way you've had bacon?
In a strawberry-chocolate souffle. A friend once tried to make bacon beer, but that was organ-melting awful. I'm more of an Old Bay fan really.
Which would you rather get a chance to fly on and why: the Enterprise (choose one) or the Millennium Falcon?
Falcon! To play hide-and-seek in storage compartments, smuggle action figures and shoes, seeing how fast we could do the Kessel Run, and hang with Han!
Do you play your games with dice, cards, keyboards or controllers?
Controllers, unless it's Team Fortress 2. I am a wizard at Pokemon cards though!
Wait. She's a gamer, too!? Sorry folks, we need to cut this post short. We need to challenge her to a game. See you guys later, and stay tuned for more interviews!