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Dec
13
2010

WARNING: Extreme Awesomeness Enclosed

OMG I AM SCARED

Obviously we have a slightly different sense of humor than your average online shop.

We don't usually think about it, though, until the holidays roll around and people start buying gifts for people other than themselves--sometimes for people who aren't actually geeks. Like grandmothers. Who are afraid of awesomeness.

Dear ThinkGeek,

I was trying to figure out what to give my elderly mom for Christmas this year. My father, who passed away a few years ago, was a police officer; and Mom gets a pension; but she is on a fixed income and is quite frugal. She hates to run the air conditioner in summer and keeps the house freezing in winter. So I thought I'd get her a Slanket for Christmas. I just love the one my husband got me last year. I slip into that thing on the couch, and I'm out like a light in ten minutes.

It could have been worse.

I did some comparison shopping and found the best bargain at thinkgeek.com. No, I did not buy her the skull and crossbones pattern, LOL. I placed the order this weekend, and I mentioned to her on the phone Sunday evening that she should expect to get a box from you guys soon and not to open it till Christmas.

Fast forward to last night. I'm in the kitchen, getting dinner ready, when the phone rings. I see it's my mom, and I feel a slight tinge of worry because she doesn't usually call me unless it's important.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Susan. It's Mom."

"Oh, hi, Mom. Listen, dinner's about ready. Can I talk to you later? Are you okay?"

"Well, I'm okay, but... I'm afraid of this box."

"Box?"

"It says 'Warning' on it."

"It does?"

"And something else. Extreme? Yeah, extreme."

"...?"

"Extreme Awe...some...ness. Extreme Awesomeness Inside. I'm worried about this."

"Oh, Mom! That's just them being funny! It means you're really going to like what's in the box."

"But it says 'Warning!' I don't understand that."

"It's just how young people talk these days."

"Well, why did you get something like that for me? I'm not a young person. I'm scared."

Torn between exasperation and hysterics, I shouted to my husband upstairs, "Honey, Mom got that package from thinkgeek.com, and the box says 'Warning, extreme awesomeness inside', and she's afraid of it."

"Tell her it's just slang. It's what people say."

I relay that to her, and she says, "Well, I don't know. I don't know what to do."

I think I finally managed to calm her down by the time I had to get off the phone and take dinner out of the oven. Still, I can't rule out that she spent yesterday evening on the phone calling up all of Dad's old retired police friends, just to make sure it's okay.

"John, I got this box from Susan, and I just don't know about it. Can you come over and look at it? I think it might be dangerous."

I think I'll have to call her tonight and ask her to open it now. Otherwise, she's going to worry about it from now until Christmas.

I really should have bought her the Slanket with the skull and crossbones pattern. Heh heh. "It's evil! It's evil!"

Happy holidays, and I hope that the Christmas presents that you give are received with less drama!

--Susan

Thanks for sending us your story, Susan, and we hope we didn't ship the Slanket with monkey breath air pillows! Your mom might call the CDC.

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Comments

meaningless icon! That is cute.
soozenw said this 1356 days ago.
meaningless icon! Oh old people.
EVula said this 1356 days ago.
meaningless icon! Bwahahahaha!!!! Bit what a sweet old lady she sounds to be. Still hilarious though!!!!
Knash said this 1356 days ago.
meaningless icon! That's hilarious. Old people might as well be from the 40's.
EcakCake said this 1356 days ago.
meaningless icon! Awww thats so funny! I hope she likes it. Also tell her she is only as old as she is in her heart!
fusioncell said this 1356 days ago.
meaningless icon! woah... awesome^^ should buy her the awesome sauce (http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/wacky-edibles/dc05/), too^^
Hitokiri Rei said this 1356 days ago.
meaningless icon! That`s too cute! When it comes to thinkgeek my mom just disregards it as "oh it`s one of your geek things..."
Yakimaniac said this 1356 days ago.
meaningless icon! *snarf*
tinkerjenn said this 1355 days ago.
meaningless icon! I just got mine wrapped the plain brown wrapper - stealth evil
moldavite sofa said this 1355 days ago.
meaningless icon! hmmm makes me wonder if the screaming monkey slingshot I sent my mother was a wise decision. o_O
bofh_ny said this 1355 days ago.
meaningless icon! That's so funny! Sounds like something my mom would do but thankfully, she is well acquainted with ThinkGeek.
kerina said this 1355 days ago.
meaningless icon! I just *heart* the row of Timmys in costumes in the background.
Nefenjo said this 1355 days ago.
meaningless icon! Awwww hahaha, totally sweet!! I can see my grandma doing the same... if she only knew english!!!! old people can be so lovely and stressful at the same time =')
Aiko Subhi said this 1355 days ago.
meaningless icon! That sounds exactly like something my mom would do.
cybercat61 said this 1355 days ago.
meaningless icon! Hmm, cute smiling monkeys talking of awesomeness... be afraid... be very afraid!
Obsi said this 1355 days ago.
meaningless icon! Sweet ...old people make me smile and remind me of my GM who lived to 96 years...and freaked when I got her a cable box (it's an 80's thing ) ...she phoned me every day for a week to make sure she could still get her "soaps". Maybe ThinkGeek could just put Warning : Live CODE MONKEYS inside...or to calm people just put MEH on the box.
EZL2000 said this 1355 days ago.
meaningless icon! this is the best thing that i have heard in a while :')
drwho_tardis89 said this 1355 days ago.
meaningless icon! I had a neighbour just like your mum!
freshh2o said this 1355 days ago.
meaningless icon! Oh that is priceless! My mother may have said the same things and called dad's retired police friends, too. I think if my dad was still around (he passed away a few years ago) he would have been tickled. Happy Holidays!~S
suzsprout said this 1355 days ago.
meaningless icon! Awww, poor Gramma. :)
nerdra said this 1355 days ago.
meaningless icon! Awww
Suprnrd123 said this 1355 days ago.
meaningless icon! At least they didn't send the unicorn meat; I hate to think of the reaction to that.
onthebrink said this 1355 days ago.
meaningless icon! Two words: T-shirt Logo
Antbulator said this 1352 days ago.
meaningless icon! That's so sweet. My mom is a bit more geeky and unusual. She wears a fake ear spiral often and enjoys things like my graphic novels (and also my comics - Donald Duck comics. I am a big Don Rosa fan, you see). I think she would giggle if I sent her a think geek package and she read the "Extreme Awesomeness Inside".
Jazhara7 said this 1347 days ago.

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