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Belgium

In our experiences, top ten lists normally have two flaws: they're poorly formatted for quick reading and they are normally wrong. Just check all the comments of any top ten list, and you'll see lots of other folks think the list is wrong, too.

With our TL;DR Top Ten Lists, we're going to fix both problems... with your help. We're just gonna give you a couple of things on our top ten list (to make it faster to read), and you fill out the rest in the comments below (to make sure the list is accurate). Add to the list, argue with us, argue with each other, but most importantly be nice and have fun.

Today's TL;DR Top Ten List topic is:

Top 10 Fictional Curse Words!

WTFrak
  1. Frak (Frack) ("Battlestar Galactica") -- Frak is special because it first appeared in the original "Battlestar Galactica" and was carried over into the reboot. It was so ingrained into the fabric of BG, that it was as important as the character names and even the ship itself! Of course, frack dropped a letter with the reboot, but that made frak work even better. With the original series and spelling, it gave us an F-word that could be used on network TV, and no fracking felgercarb could stop it. With the reboot, we got a four letter word to replace four letter words. Frak taught us that rules (i.e., those governing what can or can't be said on TV) were made to be broken and, if not broken, then creatively circumvented. So, to the writers of BG, we say, "Frak you. Frak you very much."
  2. Belgium ("The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy") -- In all of space, the "most offensive word in the galaxy" is the name of one of Earth's countries (and a pretty one, too). It seems that humans just aren't smart enough to understand why. We went back and forth here at TGHQ, trying desperately to figure out how Belgium could become so profane. And we have a theory! Something happened during the filming of one of Belgium's own Jean-Claude van Damme's movies. One of his spin kicks was repeated once too often and it tore a hole though dimensions. When folks peered into this tear, all they could see was JCVD's crotch as he performed his world-famous splits. This enraged the dimension filled with old people who wanted everyone to stay off their lawns, and they blamed (and punished by way of expletive creation) the entire country where JCVD was born. Or, perhaps it's because of #3 on this list.
  3. Smurfs
  4. Smurf ("The Smurfs") -- Smurfs hit the pages of a Belgian (see?) magazine in 1958. In Smurf lingo, almost any and every word can be replaced with some form of "smurf." How many of us grew up staying out of trouble by replacing bad words with "smurf?" Especially when we were playing that smurfing ColecoVision game. Smurfing Gargamel and his smurfity-smurf castle. Here's our biggest hope (and why "smurf" is on this list): in most languages, there are words that can't be translated into English. Sure "smurf" means "darn" and "smurf" means "poop" and "smurfing" someone is something you don't discuss in public, so it stands to reason, then, that somewhere in the Smurf vocabulary there exists the word "smurf" which is the most heinous of all curse words. A word so vile and intrinsically smurfy, that we'll never quite know how foul it really is.

And now it's your turn. What do you think numbers 4-10 are? Do you agree with our numbers 1-3?

Take to the comments and help us find the Top 10 Fictional Curse Words!*

*One caveat and one request: only use fictional curse words (you know, in case kids are reading). And please make sure to use the word in a sentence.


Written by Mindel, a certified Master of Disguise (so long as the disguise looks just like him).

Jul
24
2014

We're Curious...

Which movie are you planning to see?

Movies are fun! (Image Source: NY Times)

We have a question for you

If you're like us (or if you like us), it shouldn't come as a surprise to hear we have been busy circling dates on our calendars to keep track of all the great movies coming out between now and the end of the year. We narrowed the list down to the seven we're most excited about, but we can't agree on the order. So we're hoping you will lend a hand and let us know what you think.

STOP! (quick eligibility self-test)

  • Do you like movies?
  • Do you like taking polls?
  • Are you excited about any movies coming out this year?

If your answers to these questions are all yes, then please let us know...

Timmy's made it to Comic-Con!

Timmy's so excited for Comic-Con! Come visit us at booth #3849.

WE'RE HERE!

We've finally landed and are ready to take on Comic-Con. Are you ready for us, San Diego?

All you con-goers must have memorized our Official ThinkGeek SDCC Strategy Guide by now, and if you haven't, what are you waiting for? It tells you where to find us, how to get freebies, and win prizes! For all you non-con-goers, fear not. We're running a Twitter contest all con weekend! Tweet for the chance to win all our con exclusives.

If you're here, be sure to visit us at Booth #3849 to check out our exclusives and top-secret prototypes in person! We're unveiling them at Comic-Con, but we guessss we'll let our faraway geeks take a peek at them, too.


OUR CON EXCLUSIVES

These items are in stock now at our booth and on the website, while they last!

We thought it wouldn't be fair if only con-goers got the chance at these exclusives, so we will be carrying them on our site all Comic-Con weekend. Come Monday, they'll be off the site again, so don't miss out on this chance!


OUR TOP-SECRET PROTOTYPES

These items aren't in stock yet, but they will be soon, so if you like what you see here, be sure to click through to sign up for email updates. That way we can let you know as soon as they reach our warehouse.


Excited yet? Click on the photos to learn more about these shinies and be sure to use the "e-mail me" button on each page to be notified the moment the product hits our warehouse!

We look forward to all the new announcements and adventures that Comic-Con will bring. Stay up to date by following us on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+!

We're at San Diego Comic-Con!

Timmy and his army of cosplay clones are ready for Comic-Con! Come find us at booth #3849.

San Diego Comic-Con is nigh!

Hey all you nerf-herders! We've put together a handy guide to help you stalk us during this week of awesome.


The Official ThinkGeek SDCC Strategy Guide

Where to Find Us:

San Diego Comic Con
  • Come visit us in between Lightspeed Fine Art and Underground Toys (behind Square Enix). We're in booth #3849, but check the map first (don't want you good folks falling into any previously-charted wormholes or tears in space or anything).

    It's our second year with a booth, so be sure to swing by, say "hello!" to our Comic-Con Away Team, give us some free shrugs, and take a picture with Timmy! Along with our most popular items, we'll be carrying all our con exclusives as well.

Contests & Prizes:

Doctor Who Exclusive Variant Comics
  • Wish you could make it to Comic-Con but are too busy saving the world (or plotting to destroy it)? Fret not, hero (orrrr villain)! We're giving you the chance to win a pack of our Comic-Con exclusives + a Con Bag of Holding filled with mystery goodies by tweeting once a day for five days! AT 11:59pm PT on July 27th, the contest will close and we'll randomly choose 5 winners. So that's 5 days, 5 chances to win, and 5 Comic-Con prize packs. Just tweet this any day we're at Comic-Con, 7/23-7/27:

    Wish I was at SDCC so I could get @ThinkGeek's con prize pack! Boohoo! http://j.mp/15bq9Pl #ThinkGeekSDCC
  • Win a life-size Han Solo in Carbonite figure or ThinkGeek Han Solo prize pack! Yep, that's right--a magnificent seven-and-a-half-foot tall replica of Han Solo in Carbonite. Swing by our booth #3849, mention this contest, let us scan your badge, and be automagically entered to win! (You can also enter via paper at our booth or online, too!) This contest closes Friday, August 15th at 11:59pm PT.

Panels & Freebies:

  • Looking to score some freebies? Don't think it'll be so easy! Come by our booth #3849 and tell us the secret password to get a mystery goodie!
    • Wednesday, preview night: "Ice to see you!"
    • Thursday: "Aviary of Doom"
    • Friday: "What doesn't kill you makes you stranger."
    • Saturday: "SWEAR TO ME!"
    • Sunday: "I am Gotham's reckoning."
  • On Friday, July 25 at 5:30pm Room 26AB, come to the panel The Business of Geek Fashion to join our very own TG monkey Mike Kochis and other awesome panelists in discussing how businesses choose designs, what the licensing process is like, how trends affect their work, and how fashion options for geek girls have increased over the years. RSVP to the Facebook event here!

Happy stalking! If you want to come chat with us, be sure to swing by our booth anytime. Hope to see you there!

Jul
18
2014

Links! Incominggg!

Sorry, but our princess is in another fish tank.

Sorry, but our princess is in another fish tank.

Watch out! Phew, that link almost got you. Here's the latest link round-up of awesome stuff from the Internet!

Our favorite links from the Twitter, Google+, Facebook, and Pinterest 'verse:

Cake for Second Breakfast? Yes, please!

We feel bad for the barista. Daenerys Targaryen's drink order. (Tumblr)

Free Dobby! The perfect tool for saving house-elves. (Tickld)

Happens with books, too! (Endless Origami)

Kitty uses Snuggle! It is super effective. (Imgur)

Cannot unsee: The World Cup logo was Captain Picard facepalming. (Geekologie)

Bonus level! Wedding cake with a Super Mario Bros. surprise by Bittersweet's Chocolate and Pastry. (Facebook)

You Khan do anything! (Tumblr)

Best obscure Star Wars character? You tell us! Help us complete our TL;DR Top 10 List. (ThinkGeek)

When this baby hits 264 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious...

We'd expect this from a d4, but really, d20? (Tumblr)

Savoring the moment! Cake suspended in time. (Imgur)

Omg, Becky, look at her book. Best bookstore display. (Imgur)

Tetris Tots: Make these disappear... in your stomach! (Imgur)

Pwning n00bs in Halo Kitty. (Imgur)

Requires the Konami Code to open. NES controller chest. (Facebook)

That moment you realize you married a Sith. Join the Dark Bride. (Imgur)

When this baby hits 264 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious... (Imgur)

Final Fantasy bookmark: Just hope no one overwrites your save file.

So, you wanna cosplay? Cosplay veteran Holly Conrad shares with us 5 easy steps to cosplay success. (ThinkGeek)

Final Fantasy bookmark: Just hope no one overwrites your save file. (Imgur)

Cake for Second Breakfast? Yes, please! (Bake My Cake)

LEGO Life Hack: Never lose the keys to your SPACESHIP! again. (I Heart Chaos)

MandaLEGOrian. Epic LEGO Boba Fett cosplay. (Imgur)

Tetris psychotherapy: Tetris blocks have feelings, too! (Barely Amusing)

The Game of Thrones Cycle: There is no escape! (Unless you've read the books.) (The Doghouse Diaries)

A bat within a bat? Batception. (Fahsionably Geek)

Sorry, but our princess is in another fish tank. (Imgur)

Nalan Cheel

In our experiences, top ten lists normally have two flaws: they're poorly formatted for quick reading and they are normally wrong. Just check all the comments of any top ten list, and you'll see lots of other folks think the list is wrong, too.

With our TL;DR Top Ten Lists, we're going to fix both problems... with your help. We're just gonna give you a couple of things on our top ten list (to make it faster to read), and you fill out the rest in the comments below (to make sure the list is accurate). Add to the list, argue with us, argue with each other, but most importantly be nice and have fun.

Today's TL;DR Top Ten List topic is:

Best Obscure Star Wars Characters (original trilogy) Immortalized as Action Figures!

B'omarr Monk
  1. B'omarr Monk from Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi -- Scuttling around the back hallways of what was Jabba's Palace, the B'omarr Monks exist just to think. They shut themselves off from the outside world and physical stimulation so they can achieve ultimate enlightenment. When they get there, their brains are removed and put in jars, which get carried around by robot spider bodies. Dang scary for a monk, if you ask us. The toy was a 1997 mail-in exclusive and was as awesome as a robot spider with a brain in a fishbowl sounds (i.e., very!).
  2. Nalan Cheel from Star Wars IV: A New Hope -- Nalan played the bandfill in the Modal Nodes. We're pretty sure his favorite song was "Take 5," due to Paul Desmond's sublime sound. First showing up as a generic "Cantina Band Member" figure in 1997 (Star Wars Fan Club Exclusive), this Bith made a command performance as a tinned 2006 Walmart Exclusive with four other members of the band (the same 1997 figure, repainted) with cloth jackets and repainted instruments. All he wants to do is play the gig, man!
  3. Willrow Hood
  4. Willrow Hood ("Ice Cream Maker Guy") from Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back -- While the Stormtroopers invaded and everyone in Cloud City was running around, Willrow ran by the camera carrying what looked like an ice cream maker. Blink, and you'll miss him. But he ran his way into fans' hearts. After a long battle, the development of his backstory, petition, possibly some blue milk boycotting (blue ice cream?), he got his own action figure in 2009. Because, everyone loves a guy with ice cream.
  5. Momaw Nadon ("Hammerhead") from Star Wars IV: A New Hope -- Ok, so Momaw got an action figure very early on. 1978 saw him appearing in Sears Exclusive Cantina Adventure Set and then as a regular carded figure. Back then, he was simply known as Hammerhead since the Expanded Universe hadn't happened yet (and still hasn't? sigh!). Anywho, Momaw had a small part in the movies, but has featured highly in the action figure world. So why's he on this list? Simple: Hammerhead was one of our favorite Kenner Star Wars action figures to play with. And since we're writing this list... he's in!

And now it's your turn. What do you think numbers 5-10 are? Do you agree with our numbers 1-4?

Take to the comments and help us find the Best Obscure Star Wars Characters Immortalized as Action Figures!


Written by Mindel, a certified Master of Disguise (so long as the disguise looks just like him).

Timmy wants you to submit to Despair Calendar 2014!

Whee! Timmy is already excited for 2015.

Wait... We're halfway through 2014 already?!

The new year will be upon us before we know it, which is our cue to start working on the 2015 Custom Despair Calendar! This keeper of dates needs some filling out. How else will we keep track of all the geeky days of note, nerdy facts, and imaginary holidays during the year? (And real holidays, too, we guess.)

This is where you chuckleheads come in! We need your help again in populating our Calendar of Despair. Submit your historic date, nerdy holiday, birthday, geeky fact or point of interest in the form below, and if we decide to put your date on the calendar, you'll automatically be entered to win a $100 gift certificate. If you're the randomly selected winner, we'll notify you as soon as the dates are finalized & the calendar is set to print!

Here are some examples of what we're looking for:

  • June 7th: Ghostbusters theatrical release. Don't cross the streams and buy a pack of Stay-Puft caffeinated marshmallows to celebrate.
  • July 13th: It's the birthday of Harrison Ford AND Patrick Stewart. Celebrate Captain Picard and Captain Solo on the same day!
  • September 10th: Bill Nye the Science Guy Day.
  • October 13th: International Walk Like a Zombie Day!

Musketeer Riker

In our experiences, top ten lists normally have two flaws: they're poorly formatted for quick reading and they are normally wrong. Just check all the comments of any top ten list, and you'll see lots of other folks think the list is wrong, too.

With our TL;DR Top Ten Lists, we're going to fix both problems... with your help. We're just gonna give you a couple of things on our top ten list (to make it faster to read), and you fill out the rest in the comments below (to make sure the list is accurate). Add to the list, argue with us, argue with each other, but most importantly be nice and have fun.

Today's TL;DR Top Ten List topic is:

Silliest Star Trek: The Next Generation Adversaries!

The children from the ST:TNG Episode
  1. Musketeer Riker ("Hollow Pursuits") -- In planning this list, we were originally just going to do villains. But then we decided to expand it to anyone who stands in the way of the good crew of the Enterprise D doing their thang. Musketeer Riker just barely stands in the way. He's late to the fight, he's shorter than regular Riker (we'll call that one "original recipe"), and he's just a bit goofy. For all of that, we call Musketeer Riker a silly adversary.
  2. Children ("Disaster") -- Picard was just doing his duty and taking the three young winners of a science fair on a short tour of the ship. We're guessing that tour was of safe and fun areas, like the arboretum and aquatics lab. And then Picard would send them on their way and go back to work. But could he quickly and easily do that? No, because he was thwarted by silly, little children (oh sure, and a quantum filament collision, but we're blaming the children).
  3. Horga'hn statue ("Captain's Holiday") -- Again, Picard is foiled by something seemingly innocent. This time, it's a statue he acquires per Riker's request. We're pretty sure Riker already had one and just wanted the Captain to get a little something extra on his vacation. But sometimes you want to participate in jamaharon, and other times you just want to read a good book! Foiled by a silly (sexy) statue.
  4. Kivas Fajo ("The Most Toys") -- Fajo is a collector. He likes to have all the best things and show them off to his friends. He steals his things and puts them on display. He even is bold enough to steal Data. And here's why Kivas Fajo is a silly adversary. Sure he's capable of killing (RIP Varria), but he makes one error. This episode is called, "The Most Toys," which means, as a toy, Data isn't worth as much since he's not mint in packaging.

And now it's your turn. What do you think numbers 5-10 are? Do you agree with our numbers 1-4?

Take to the comments and help us find the Silliest Star Trek: The Next Generation Adversaries!


Written by Mindel, a certified Master of Disguise (so long as the disguise looks just like him).

Holly working on a kaiju!

So, you wanna cosplay?

My name is Holly Conrad; I've been cosplaying for eleven years and I'm here to tell you about the wonderful world of cosplay! If you're reading this article (which you undoubtedly are), you're interested in dressing up, making stuff, and being one of your favorite characters for hours on end at a convention. It's not an easy task, but it's definitely a rewarding one, and that's not just because of all the cool scars and blisters you'll get from making a costume--it's because of the fun you'll have becoming a character, meeting new friends, and being hugely awesome. So, let's get started with my five easy steps to cosplay success!

Step One: Cosplay Whoever You Want

Femshep!

My first rule of cosplay is you can be whoever you want. Regardless of your age, race, gender, size, you can be WHOEVER you want. And if someone tells you otherwise, look them in the eye, strike a sassy pose, and tell them they're wrong (and also totally no fun at all). This is a hobby for you to feel awesome about yourself and to learn new skills and make friends, not be judged or bullied.

Step Two: Obsession Is Your Energy Drink

You'll have a lot of late nights cosplaying. Sometimes those late nights are only fueled by Taco Bell and the love of the character you're cosplaying as. When you drift off to sleep on your garage floor at 5 am surrounded by a pile of cut pieces of foam and glue, you want to know that when you make that pile into armor you're going to feel like the most awesome badass that ever walked this planet. Loving a character, loving your fandom, and wanting to be a part of that at a convention will help you go that extra mile that no energy drink or cheap taco will do.

Step Three: Google-fu

Once you have a character and you know what you want to be, now is your time to take to the Internet. Many cosplayers have released e-books (including Kamui Cosplay and Punished Props on how to make armor. Forums like the Replica Prop Forum can get you in touch with industry professionals who make props for a living, and sites like Tested give you amazing build blogs to look over. YouTube has a plethora of sewing tutorials, casting tutorials, and so many more. The Internet is your friend, and its cornucopia of tutorials will turn into your bathroom reading faster than you can say, "Glue gun burn".

Step Four: Failure Is Your Senpai

Dragon Age Inquisition

Cosplay is about learning; it's about figuring out what works, what absolutely does not work, and what should be buried and forgotten forever. Don't be afraid! My solution to this is to cosplay with friends. Find a group, get your parents to help out, have people around you to laugh jovially when you try to age a cloak and accidentally set it on fire in your driveway. These things are going to happen, and they will be a learning experience (and great bar stories). So never give up, never surrender.

Step Five: The Power Is Yours

Just like Captain Planet says, you have the power to ignore, and educate, haters. Let's say your Wonder Woman costume is done, you're ready to go to a convention, and suddenly, Ethel, your co-worker at the Kwik-e-Mart asks why you're doing something so "nerdy and unordinary." This is when you ask Ethel about that time she went to the Raiders game and painted herself black and white and wore armor with 5 inch spikes on the shoulders. She will say, "Yes, but that's a sports game," and you will respond, "You're a fan of sports, you dress up to show you're a fan. I'm a fan of Wonder Woman, I dress up to show I'm a fan. It's the same thing." You then drop your mic, kick a speaker off the stage, put on deal-with-it sunglasses, and ride out on a raptor breathing fire.

Now, you're ready to cosplay!

Well, I mean you have to make the costume first. But with these five easy steps, it won't be any problem. No matter what, you are going to have a blast. Oh! Here's a few more tips: stay hydrated, put gel inserts in your shoes, bring energy bars, and put a pocket on your costume for a cell phone. You'll need to be able to call Ethel and tell her what an awesome time you're having while you and your deal-with-it raptor ride off into the sunset.


Holly Conrad cosplay

Born from a family of artists and out-of-the-box thinkers, Holly Conrad cites her first cosplay experience at the age of four when she strapped a pillow to her back and called herself a koopa. Mentored by her grandfather, Dorse Lanpher, a pioneer in visual effects animation with Disney and Don Bluth Productions, Holly grew up in Redlands, CA as a gifted illustrator, artist, and self-taught costume designer.

After graduating with a degree in Medieval History (and Sorcery) from University of California, Santa Barbara, Holly switched career paths and began working in special effects shops for clients like Disney, Universal, Machinima, Warner Brothers and productions like Robot Chicken and Titan Maximum, the latter of which won an Emmy for costume design. In 2010, she co-founded a company with her best friend Jessica Merizan called Crabcat Industries. Crabcat focuses on promoting an inclusive teaching community to build costumes, props, and practical special effects as well as new-media entertainment with the brands "Try This At Home", "Commander Holly", and "Jessica Marzipan".

Holly is stationed in Los Angeles and lives with her husband Ross, an animator, and her precocious cats Doctor Orpheus and Mojo. She is currently on the SyFy show Heroes of Cosplay with her partner in crime, Jessica.

Check out more of her awesome work on her website!

Maximillian from

Maximillian from "The Black Hole."

In our experiences, top ten lists normally have two flaws: they're poorly formatted for quick reading and they are normally wrong. Just check all the comments of any top ten list, and you'll see lots of other folks think the list is wrong, too.

The insect robots from

With our TL;DR Top Ten Lists, we're going to fix both problems... with your help. We're just gonna give you a couple of things on our top ten list (to make it faster to read), and you fill out the rest in the comments below (to make sure the list is accurate). Add to the list, argue with us, argue with each other, but most importantly be nice and have fun.

Today's TL;DR Top Ten List topic is:

Scariest Movie Robots!

  1. The insect robots from "Runaway." These multi-legged insects could move surprisingly fast when they wanted to, and they could jump pretty far. Also, they had a horrible sting - in the form of a venom-filled syringe. And if that wasn't enough, they were all built by Gene Simmons. Can anything be scarier than that?
  2. Maximillian from "The Black Hole." Long before General Grievous came on the scene, Maximillian was the robot with the multiple arms who haunted our nightmares. It doesn't hurt that he can sort of fly and two of his hands are very sharp and spin. Max even had enough guts to kill Norman Bates. Dang.
  3. The Tin Man from "The Wizard of Oz." Imagine you're a woodcutter and you just happen to make a witch mad. She curses your axe and it begins to chop your parts off. Each time it chops a part off, you replace it with a tin prosthetic. In the end, you're all metal and, if not a full robot, at least a cyborg. Of course, this back story is glossed over in the movie, but it's still true. And why do we think the Tin Man is scary? Because the original make up almost killed the original actor (Buddy Ebsen). No other of these robots actually almost killed someone.

And now it's your turn. What do you think numbers 4-10 are? Do you agree with our numbers 1-3?

Take to the comments and help us find the Scariest Movie Robots!


Written by Mindel, a certified Master of Disguise (so long as the disguise looks just like him).