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If you have a player 2, you probably know exactly what next Tuesday, February 14 means.

And if you're rolling it single player style, you've probably been bombarded with enough frustratingly pink reminders (and heart-melting stories like the ones we posted yesterday) that you know what's coming, too--and you'd like to set something frilly on fire.

Whether it's your heart or spleen set ablaze by Valentine's Day, let's turn this energy into something positive for classrooms and kids who need supplies and materials!

Yes, it's time for our fourth annual DonorsChoose.org project Geek<3, and we're counting on you to help us decide where to donate our $1,000.

Just like last year, we're donating a total of $1,000 to classrooms as part of our year-long goal to give $1,000 a month to charitable organizations in 2012. (Here's our wrap-up for 2011.) Your votes will determine which classrooms we give to, in order of popularity, until we hit the $1,000 mark.

And just like last year, your vote will enter you to win a $100 gift certificate... but we know that's not why you'll vote. You'll vote because you care about educating the next crop of geeks. Because you're awesome.

How to vote (and enter to win) in Project Geek<3:

  1. 1. Go to DonorsChoose.org and find a classroom you think needs some geek <3ing. Make a note of the classroom id. For example, if the classroom's url is
    http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/proposal.html?id=720253
    the ID is #720253. If you need a good starting point, there's always the Math & Sciences section, Music and the Arts, and Literacy and Language.
  2. 2. Register your vote on our form-o-matic below by 10 am ET Tuesday, February 14, 2012. We'll tally up the votes, make the donations, and post the results and our $100 gift certificate winner here on our blog, Twitter, Facebook, and G+ that afternoon.
  3. You might be wondering if we're handling votes via Twitter this year, and sadly, there are too many of you to make this happen (in a reliable way, anyways) so we're having to use a boring old form.

So go pick your favorite classroom and share those warm geek fuzzies! We'll report back here with more on the big <3 day.

Timmy's in love!

Timmy feels the tug of Valentine's Day on his tiny simian heart. Let's hope that the turret feels something other than the usual murderous impulses.

Love is in the air!

There are a lot of geeks out there who are baffled and irritated by Valentine's Day and its rituals of flowers, candy, and gazing deeply into the eyes of your beloved while eating an expensive dinner at some fancy restaurant.

We can practically hear your lip curl at all the schmaltz. We understand. Those expectations can be a bit daunting and feel kind of half-hearted.

Valentine's Day doesn't have to be like that. It can be a day to remind us that love is really kind of awesome. That click that you have with another person who really gets you, or just smells really good - that's fantastic, and can be celebrated in any weird way you choose. (Even if that way is slaying chocolate zombies together.)

So, we wanted you to know that love can happen to anyone. We asked our fellow ThinkGeek Monkeys to tell us their stories of dorky, awkward lurve in an effort to remind everyone that love is rarely conventional or covered in pink hearts.

Prepare for heartwarming in 3...2...1...

Chris meets Bette: Everyone knew but them.

Bette and I met in 7th grade band. I played Alto Sax and she played Baritone. All year long, people kept telling me that she liked me. People also kept telling her that I liked her. It took me two weeks during the summer after 7th grade, but I finally got up enough nerve to ask her to a movie. We saw Gremlins 2. That night we realized everyone was right. From that summer until today (without question or pause), we've been a team. The end.

Yay for band geeks finding each other! They turned out pretty awesome.

Daria and Todd: When it really is okay to date your SysOp.

When I went off to college I had zero social skills away from a computer. I spend all of my time on BBSes (bulletin board systems - the precursor to the internet). Because girls were rare on BBSes, if a BBS had a girl on it their traffic went up. A SysOp (system operator) of a board I was on told me about her friend who wanted me to call his BBS so he would have a girl.

I called and we chatted. (Back then chatting could only be done by the person on the modem and the person on the computer running the BBS.) We got along great and decided to meet.

The next several weeks we were inseparable. Some girls on my hall asked why we weren't dating. So I asked Todd. He looked at me and said "I could never date you." I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. I went back to my dorm room and called the girl who had introduced us while crying. She said "You just have to tell him you love him." I yelled back "I can't tell him I love him." I turned around and Todd was standing in my doorway crying too. I got off the phone and he told me he was scared of losing his best friend if he told me he liked me and I didn't like him back. That was 21 years ago and we're still best friends today.

They're also married and adorable, so there's that.

Nathan: Sometimes it pays to be the guy who is good with computers.

It all started with her computer. You know, the one that booted up straight into the blue screen of death. Somehow my roommate found out about her computer being dead and it showed up on his desk. I was not getting involved with it, nope, not another computer to fix.

My roommate never managed to fix it. He was just about to pack it up and give it back to her. She found me somewhere on campus and told me the sad news. I gave her my condolences.

The computer was still there that afternoon when I got back to my room, so I decided to take five minutes to look at it. Yep, that's all it took. Five minutes. I let my roommate give her the good news.

Then her date backed out of an upcoming group date. She asked me to fill in, and I did. My roommate said I had to ask her out, for that weekend, for a double date with him and his date. I mentioned to her that we were going to a local hangout for hot chocolate, and she could come along if she wanted. She felt like she was inviting herself, and started to back out, so I had to tell her that really it was okay if she came. She maintains to this day that I never really asked her out. Oh well. We had fun anyway. And we got married. And lived happily ever after, or something like that, since ever after hasn't finished yet.

Perhaps the next time a broken computer mysteriously finds its way to you, it wont be quite as frustrating? Happy thoughts, folks!

Carrie and Derek: Obscure lyrics FTW!

I've met many of my IRL friends online, and my boyfriend Derek was no exception. He messaged me on OkCupid because he recognized my obscure username as a Barenaked Ladies lyric. My only regret is that he's not named Steve.

Gotta wonder if half of their conversations consist of quoted lyrics and sly grins.


Isn't love grand? Isn't it WEIRD!?

If you're inspired to actually take part in this holiday of love and googly-eyes and don't have any idea what to give the boy down the hall in #301, check out our Geeky Valentine's Gift Guide or, if you want to be a little more subtle, print one of our free downloadable Geeky Valentine's Day cards. Maybe you too will find your band geek/sysop/music nerd! All you have to do is put yourself out there a little.

Have a happy one, folks!


We have moar stories!

Since we can't keep a good thing to ourselves, we shared this blog post on our Facebook wall. We asked you guys to share your romantic stories with us, because we needed a little extra heartwarming. 

Here are some of our favorites:

Maria: Vampire Love

It was my first LARP - I was playing a Toreador in Vampire: The Masquerade, and someone told me I should go speak to the head Toreador. I tracked down the person they'd named, and when I met his eyes it was like being hit over the head with a 2x4. Took me another two and a half years to work up the courage to tell him how I felt, but it started that night. Yes, love at first sight really exists.

Andrea: The way to his heart involved hacking and slashing.

He was playing Diablo 2 at our friend's house... I wanted to learn how to play too...  it's all hacking, slashing, casting spells and seven side strikes from there. <3

Sandi: Proving that reading is awesome.

When I was 14, I worked in the young adult area of our public library, He came in and read comics and sci fi books. I checked him out, and still have him. That was 33 yrs ago. Still reading together.

Matthew: Patience pays out!

It was my Freshman year at College and I was taking a a C++ Computer Science class. The first day I noticed a cute blonde girl sitting two rows back. The next class I made sure to arrive late and sat next to her. I introduced myself to her and she told me her name was Amy and she was a math major, but didn't have the first clue about programming. I offered to help her out some. :D

After a couple classes I managed to work up the nerve to ask her out to get some lunch after class. She shot me down, and said that she couldn't because she had a boyfriend. I backpedaled and said I just meant we could get some lunch as friends. So we did, and proceeded to talk on the phone, and get together for lunch until shortly after she informed me she was engaged. I congratulated her, and that was the last I heard from her for about six years. (I lost her phone number and she transferred schools.)

Six years later, one of my friends sent me an invitation to Myspace (back when it was cool) and I signed up. Less than a week later I got a message from her asking if I remembered her. We picked up where we left off getting lunch and chatting. This continued for another three years till she informed me one evening when I fixed her some dinner at my place that she was in the process of getting a divorce. That evening while we chatted on the sofa I couldn't resist any longer and leaned in and kissed her. That was four years ago, and we're currently planning our wedding. Good things come to those who wait!

Keep the stories coming, everyone! There are some hearts that are still only lukewarm!

Cannot. Stop. Clicking. Might. Need. Help.

The internet was oddly quiet this week. Is everyone hiding away to plot Valentine's Day awesomeness, or are we all being lulled to sleep by this unseasonable warmth? A little of both?

Here, wake up just a bit and take a look at the interesting links we managed to scrounge up for you over this slow week. There are some doozies in there.

Links from the Twitter, Google+, and Facebook 'verse:

Whoops! I guess he didn't need that... (YouTube)

Good news! Valentines day is cancelled...at least in Uzbekistan. (CBS News)

For a stressful day. (Virtual Bubblewrap)

Just click play. Trust us. (YouTube)

All they wanted to do was party! (Daily Mail)

Once you spot it, you can't un-spot it. Amazing. (i09)

We don't say this often: this is the coolest scrunchie ever. (New World Notes)

Mm, Alien brain hemmorage! (Latinrapper.com)

BaconBaconBaconBaconBacon! (YouTube)

This explains why we love those hashtag games! (Slacktory)

Morse code tweets are a great way to confound the populace! (Hack a Day)

Space Cats. That's all you need to know. (YouTube)

Mother Mustang compels you! (YouTube)

That looks...familiar. (ABC News)

Our descendants might be awesome, but...they'll be hideous. (I Heart Chaos)

Stuff programmers say. So accurate. (Warning, one naughty word) (YouTube)

A Watchman prequel? Hrm. (NY Times)

This art is on a whiteboard!? (Cubicleism)

This would look AWESOME in our conference room... (EBay)

John Scalzi's daughter encounters a record for the first time. (YouTube)

If you're working on a Batmobile, you might want to hold off. (Wired)

Back to sleep now? Okay!

Did you hear about our little extracurricular gift-giving project in December? The one that Consumerist blogged so nicely about? Let me explain.

No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

See, in mid-December we heard about a certain young Browncoat couple named Wash (oh yes, that kind of Wash) and Tashi. Just a few months after they were married, Wash was diagnosed with Glioblastoma Multiforme--terminal brain cancer--and he underwent two brain surgeries to remove an apple-sized tumor when he was only 25 years old. Most patients are given months to live, but that was two years ago.

From Tashi's blog posts, we learned that Wash was having a difficult winter, and we decided to send them some geeky holiday cheer. It's the least we could do for fellow Browncoats, and it's not that unusual for us to send goodies just 'cause. (We're soft-hearted like that.)

But it's really, really unusual for the recipients to alert the presses before we'd even received their thank you email! Just as their note hit our inboxes, we got appreciative tweets and kind words from those who had already read the story on Consumerist, and as we worked to keep up with the responses we thought we should keep the warm fuzzies going somehow.

So we asked Wash and Tashi if there was any particular charity near and dear to their hearts that would welcome a $1,000 donation from ThinkGeek. It didn't take long for them to reply with someone doing very special work.

Thus we'd like to announce our first $1,000 monthly donation in 2012, given in honor of Wash: GrayMatters Foundation, founded by Lanette Veres.

Lanette is a brain cancer survivor and her turtle logo says it all: Brain tumors stink! She works to bring brain cancer patients cheer and comfort with gifts, cards, and hospital visits because she's been there, too. In 1998, she was diagnosed with Anaplastic Oligodendroglioma, and by 2007 she'd had five surgeries, and she's been reaching out to patients ever since. That's how Wash and Tashi got to know Lanette.

Our donation is going towards goodies delivered to GrayMatters' Brain Buddies, and we hope it brings a smile! Brains are very important to us--and not just because we're zombies--and it's heartening to know that Lanette is out there doing good work.

Thanks, Lanette and the GrayMatters crew for your work, and thanks, Wash and Tashi, for bringing it to our attention!

As for our February donation, you can probably guess what it'll be if you've been following our donations for the last two years. If not, we'll just leave this link here.

Jan
26
2012

Step right up!

Mmm!!

The windswept dunes of Mars. Both gorgeous and a little desolate, don't you agree?

Welcome to this weeks installation of "Stuff we found that's awesome!" We've scoured the web so that you don't have to!

Click through and marvel at the wonders of the internet from this past week. Boggle at the weirdness of science! Squee at the cuteness of tiny animals!

Or, you know, just enjoy.

Links from the Twitter, Google +, and Facebook 'verse:

Let's help this guy make dialysis fun! (The Afternoon Tide)

It's 1:59 of awesome. (YouTube)

Doctor!? (Yahoo)

To discover new worlds and new civilizations... (YouTube)

Bonus: Ewok and Chewie dogs! (Laughing Squid)

We see what you did there. Clever! (Super Punch)

This is where you are, RIGHT NOW. (YouTube)

Uh, you, um, have something on your back... (YouTube)

This baby robot wants your love! Or perhaps your soul. (YouTube)

Who could say no? (imgur)

Issac has a posse. (Flickr)

Best error page, or bestest error page? (kvartirakrasivo)

Naked sea butterflies look like this. (Clione)

More crazy awesome sea creatures! (Clione)

You know what your afternoon needs? A tap dancing cat. (YouTube)

Problimatica. Now that we know about these creatures, we're going to lose SO much sleep reading everything about them. (i09)

Need a new wallpaper? Try the windswept sand dunes of Mars. (NASA)

The Walking Dead + Growing Pains = Amazingness. (Movieweb)

This little guy made it all the way to space and back! We're jealous. (YouTube)

Take note, giving out your new cell number when bored is not the best entertainment idea. Or IS it? (Reddit)

Well. It IS a spiral staircase. (YouTube)

How mathematicians say hi. (Walking Randomly)

Star Wars Uncut. This is the epitome of the internet, folks! (YouTube)

You know all of these, right? Carry on. (YouTube)

Whovians, sate thyselves on 9 minutes of every Doctor Who episode to date! (YouTube)

A brief and mostly wrong history of programming languages. (YouTube)

Wait...what? (amateurphotographer)

From the Sorry About Your Drought but This Is Really Interesting department (Tecca)

Official Minecraft LEGO sets!? Yes please! (Kotaku)

Gnomeo and Juliet: The Sequel? (imgur)

Ow! Neck crick! Must. Leave. Computer. And. Take. Walk.

Mmm!!

Timmy is here to help!

Have you ever thought: "ThinkGeek, I have a simple question, but I don't want to bother your hardworking monkeys! Where can I easily find my answer?"

This post is for you.

While we do have several places on our site that go over our more common policies in detail, we understand that sometimes you need a translator to transform policy into geeky English. We bugged our intrepid Customer Service Monkeys about what you guys asked most often, and this is the distilled essence of their answers.

SHIPPING

What's the total transit time of an order, especially for one sent expedited? Does my order ship right away?

  • Your order usually takes one to two business days to process in the warehouse before the shipper ever gets it. It's sometimes less, but one to two business days is the most common.
  • The 2-day, next-day, ground shipping clock doesn't start ticking until the shipper gets it. So a next-day order placed on a Wednesday should ship out no later than Monday, and will arrive on Tuesday. Basically, tack an extra day or two onto your expectation of the shipping time.
  • Shipping days are calculated in terms of business days. This means that weekends and holidays are excluded. So if you place a next-day order on a Friday, it will likely show up the following Wednesday.

I was charged duties and taxes on my order when it was dropped off. What gives?

Customs, duties and brokerage fees are some things that we really can't predict or calculate for you. (We've totally tried!) If you're an international-to-us Geek, there's a more than good chance that your shipper will have a little extra fee to assess when they drop your order off. Try to keep that in mind when you're placing your order, and account for it if you can. You might have luck seeking out your local customs officials and quizzing them on how much folks are generally charged for toys and textiles as well.

All of this shipping talk leads easily into the next most commonly asked about topic:

RETURNS

Wait a tick! How does one go about setting up a return? I'm lost!

Be not afraid! You can bug our Customer Service Monkeys by any of the avenues listed on this page, or you can set up your return yourself if you're feeling adventurous!

Here's how to do it:

  • First! You have to have a ThinkGeek account, and had to be logged in when you placed the order that you're returning stuff from.
  • Go to the very top right of your screen, there should be a handy "Account" link.
  • Click it!
  • You'll see a handy list of links, but the one that you want will be the third one, "Order Management".
  • Your recent orders are hanging out there. On the far right of each order listing you'll see two links "View Details" and "Return". Just click the "Return" link and follow its lead!

I wanna return a gifted thing! How do I do this?

Easy! Just bug our Customer Service Monkeys and they'll set that return up for you! They can even do it stealthily so that your gifter doesn't know that you'd rather have a Doctor Who thing than an Minecraft thing. (We're ninjas)

I received a broken thing! Do I need to send it back in its original packaging like the auto-reply email tells me to?

Nope! If the thing you received was actually broken or dead on arrival, you had to open it to find this out. We understand this! Just package it up in such a way that it will get to us in mostly one piece and put your RMA number on the box. You'll be good to go!

However, if you decided mid-transport that you really don't need three cans of unicorn meat and there is nothing actually wrong with the goodies you got, you will have to send it back with the original packaging. So we can share that unicorn meat with a geek who actually wants some. You know how it is.

How long does it take for my return to be processed and for my face to be happy again?

Well, that depends on a lot of things: how long it takes to get the return from you to our warehouse, if the warehouse monkeys are bogged down with lots and lots of returns (Sorry! It sucks when that happens), and if you're getting a replacement, how long it takes for it to get from our warehouse to you.

If you drop off your return at the post office it can take upwards of a week to ten days to get to the warehouse. So there's that to think about.

It takes the warehouse about four days to a week to process your return. After the holidays it's usually more like a week than four days.

Then if we're sending you replacement loot, it usually goes at the same speed that you set your original order to come to you. That means that if you chose economy originally your replacement will take seven to ten days to get to you, and ground is five to seven days, and so on.

So what does all this mean in average time? A replacement will take an average of three to four weeks to get back to you once you've shipped the broken loot back to us.

Refunds take about two and a half weeks to get back to your bank account. Less time there because of the lack of physically having to ship stuff.

"Gasp! That is awesome, ThinkGeek! But wait! I have more questions!"

Oh you do? Excellent! If you have something general and FAQ-like that you'd like us to tackle in a future post like this, let us know in the comments. Also, we are totally happy to clarify anything in the comments as well, so get to commenting if you're at all confused!

Until next time, Space Cowboys!

Mmm!!

Unicorn poop cookies. Let that concept sink in for a moment.

We think that Unicorn Poop pretty much sums up the pleasantly confusing unrelated batch of links that we shared this week. Fascinating, sparkly, and utterly incongruous.

Links from the Twitter, Google+, and Facebook 'verse:

Best crocheted cyclops costume or BESTEST crocheted cyclops costume? (Craftzine)

Magnets + Gravity = A pretty awesome stool! (Vimeo)

Please say hi to the tiniest frog ever. (BBC News)

Mmm, delicious poop! (Instructables)

A Saturn V, in LEGO. (Flickr)

A teenage ZOMBIE romance? Please say it ain't so!. (Comingsoon)

Quick! Click away before it rolls ove...Oops. Now you're dead from cute. (Dailymail)

Hello, is this the mashup you're looking for? (Vimeo)

He's only the most delicious Storm Trooper ever. (Oakleaf Cakes)

Could the Death Star destroy a planet? Maybe! (Smithsonian)

A transparent, recursive google image search. Awesome, but beware the NSFW images scattered though! (Vimeo)

Prettiest LOTR cake EVER. (CakeCentral)

One ring to rule them all? (The Daily What)

SCIENCE! (YouTube)

Want more information on SOPA/PIPA? We've got you covered. (Various)

How NOT to handle liquid nitrogen (YouTube)

Come to the Bark Side, we have biscuits. (MentalFloss)

My little Pony: Skyrim is Magic (YouTube)

Super Awesome LEGO Hobbit set. (Nerd Approved)

Trafic jams move like shockwaves. Unsurprising! (YouTube)

Lord Voldemort has returned! (Nerd Approved)

Best or worst Batman programming pun? Either way, we're entertained. (Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal)

Daleks or shuttle engines? It may already be too late. (NASA)

Every presentation, EVER. (YouTube)

This is so mind bogglingly cool, it's akin to magic. (YouTube)

Duck? (Space)

Noooo! Say it ain't so! (Guardian)

Is anyone else hungry right now? No?

Image licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike

With Wikipedia, reddit, Internet Archive (not yet down as of 9:21am ET), the lolcats over at Cheezburger, and others blacking out today to protest PIPA*--the US Senate's anti-piracy bill threatening free speech and innovation online--you may find yourself with some extra free time.

You could use these precious quiet moments to shake the petrified food out of your keyboard or redesign your email signature with ASCII or do actual work, but here's what we plan to do:

* What about SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act, HR2361), you ask? It seems to have been staved off until late February, depending on what legislative body you ask. PIPA (Protect IP Act, S.968) is currently scheduled to come up for a Senate vote on January 24. Slashdot is posting updates throughout the day as things change. Viva la internet!

Looking for reasons to support PIPA and SOPA?

Fark presents a compelling argument for the anti-piracy bills thusly:

FlatStanley and Spock

Together, in flatness.

Mia's Letter! (Click to embiggen)

So one day last week a letter arrived at ThinkGeek HQ. It was a pretty big envelope, but no one thought anything was weird until we opened it and the image of a flat little boy fell onto the desk.

This little paper boy was Flat Stanley, who, as the stories explain, was accidentally flattened by a falling book. Due to this newly flattened state, he decided to become a world traveler. Mostly because he could mail himself anywhere.

(Who wouldn't?)

Stanley found his way to ThinkGeek HQ after a geekling by the name of Mia was given the task of sending him to the coolest person she could think of. Of course she thought of Timmy.

We immediately started taking pictures of Flat Stanley pretty much everywhere around the office (because that is what you do with Stanleys). These are the result of that whirlwind afternoon.



FlatStanley and Spock

Timmy and Stanley stand at the door of ThinkGeek HQ during one of the first real snowstorms of the year. Wave at the camera, guys!



FlatStanley and Spock

Stanley doesn't quite do well when it comes to playing games of Foosball. Due to the flatness, we suspect.



FlatStanley and Spock

Tron, however, is an entirely different story.



FlatStanley and Spock

Our codemonkey Guillaume attempts to teach Stanley a little bit about coding Perl.



FlatStanley and Spock

A trip to see the customer service monkeys work their wizardry. There is so much awesomification happening on that washed out screen. You have no idea.



FlatStanley and Spock

Flat Stanley visits the Wall of Awesome Happiness, and nearly gets lost amongst the hundreds of postcards there. Eep.



FlatStanley and Spock

It's a snack! I mean, a trap!



FlatStanley and Spock

Stanley isn't the only flat one in the office.

Exhibit A: Our favorite Mandalorian.



FlatStanley and Spock

Exhibit B: Flat TIMMY!

Now we will be sending Stanley back home to Mia in the far off land of Illinois along with all of these pictures and copies of your comments. Just so she knows how much fun we had, and how awesome it was having Stanley as a guest. So leave some comments for Mia!

Thanks for visiting, Stanley! We'll miss you, little guy.

In case you missed it, SpikeTV interviewed our very own Ty Liotta at CES this past Tuesday!

All you have to do is click play and you can recreate crowding into a conference room with a bunch of Monkeys to watch new awesomeness be revealed to the world.

Here's what Ty demoed that's not technically new:

New, never-seen-before stuff:

And you might have seen it in the host's hand but not actually demoed:

Of course now that we can finally talk about everything, we have no idea what to say beyond trying to publicly call dibs on one of everything for ourselves.

Wait, how about this: Squee!

There we go.