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Matt R

Matt

matt at thinkgeek dot com

I'm a self-honorary poet laureate, and this is my rendition of Ginsberg's "Howl for Carl Solomon."

I saw the best women of my generation destroyed by Mall Madness, shopping hysterical naked (in my dreams)...

Matt R

Forget it. That wasn't going in a positive aesthetic direction. I'll take the blame.

In the words of Henry VIII, "Let's try something else."

How about an anecdote?

In seventh grade, before our last home game, my baseball coach handed me the starting line-up and told me I had "pure talent." I was elated by this compliment. My chin rose, and I began walking with my head up. For the first time ever, I started to view myself as a "real man."

I went 0-for-4 that day because of a paper-cut on my thumb. Those line-up sheets have really sharp edges.

Okay, so I'm no storyteller either. Sioux me, Sitting Bull.

The truth about me is that I sit around our offices waiting for my name to be called. That's usually followed by people pointing cameras at me, telling me where to stand and what to do. I do it for artistic reasons, however my refusal to speak on camera and/or travel has really shortened my acting options here at ThinkGeek. Perhaps I'm not cut out to be a Brando, or a Gifford, or a Pinkett-Smith. That doesn't mean I shouldn't try. Rockland is one pretentious performance away. Well, that's about it for me, folks. Goodbye.